[ SECRET POST #3661 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3661 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E04 "Code of Honor"]


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03.
(Boku No Hero Academia)


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04.
[Shaun the Sheep]


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05.


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06.
(FAKE)


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07.
[Drakengard]


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08.









Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #523.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

how do you stop caring about what people think of you? :\

[(Anonymous)]

I think part of it is finding other things you care about more, and then the other part of me is trying to solve the more general problem of being intensely over anxious and neurotic and depressive which I think contributes a lot to caring about how people think

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's a combination of things for most people.

* You get comfortable enough in your own skin where you're not as insecure anymore
* You have a lot of other more pressing issues and concrete problems
* You realize that people really aren't scrutinizing you as closely as you think

[(Anonymous)]

I honestly don't know how or why, but the older I get, the less I care what people think of me.

[randomdrops]

^Yup. Not sure why or how, but definite truth.

[(Anonymous)]

The older you get, the more you have to worry about.

Then you realize that you're too busy worrying about your own life to spend time and effort giving a damn what other people do with theirs, and you realize most other people are too busy with their lives to worry about yours.

The truest response to judging is always "you have way too much free time." There's a reason the largest groups of judgmental people are either very young or very old.

[badass_tiger]

Yep, feels like these days I care less what people think because I don't have time for that and it makes me realise most other people don't have time for it either.

[a_potato]

This is super insightful and spot on, although I think it's sometimes less that you have more to worry about and more than the things you have to worry about are more important.

[supermanda]

Same, but I mostly just feel too tired to care lol

it's really exhausting going through all of those thoughts and doubts and "what ifs" and all sorts of imaginary situations. Even just typing it out and thinking about it makes me wanna go to sleep

[(Anonymous)]

I think building up experiences where people were judging you or where people didn't like you but it wasn't the end of the world makes it easier to face more of those situations - you know it's probably going to be fine.

[(Anonymous)]

If you have anxiety, you can't.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't be absurd, of course you can. It will be difficult, and harder for someone with anxiety than for someone who doesn't suffer from anxiety, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

[supermanda]

Hell no, don't ever think this way. Anxiety is a beast that can be tamed, or even set free in a few rare, lucky cases

[skeletal_history]

This isn't true. If you have anxiety, you might feel like you can't, but anxiety does not render you unable to gain life experience, perspective, accomplishment, or a sense of self-acceptance. It will tell you that you can't do these things, but you can learn not to listen to its voice.

[(Anonymous)]

You just learn to stop caring.

There is no magic bullet, drugs and alcohol can help but they carry their own problems.

[(Anonymous)]

Like any other bad habit, you have to train yourself not to. Interrupt your negative thought processes immediately, every single time. Remind yourself that most people aren't thinking about you at all.

[supermanda]

Perspective

I've learned that greater things come when I am truly being myself. Not only that, but less than ideal things are repelled. And being myself means not letting others poke through that. And it really is a choice, I think, allowing that kind of thing.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, caring about other people's opinions isn't a distasteful thing in itself, yeah? Empathy is awesome! It's only when it's intrusive that you need to tone it down...

Find your own personal rubrics:

- When I go out in public am I clean and tidy? Done! Intrusive thoughts about being 'fashionable' can whistle for it in the corner.

- Is my pet fed, watered, and safe? I'm a good pet owner and can ignore any thoughts of funny looks.

- If I write fanfic - did what I just post have decent spelling and grammar, was it tagged accurately? I did good and get a cookie, people liking it is gravy...

[(Anonymous)]

Are you talking about specific people you know or just people in general?

[(Anonymous)]

You don't, unless you want to be a hermit, a sociopath, or that obnoxious fuck who screams into their cellphone for twenty minutes on the city bus.

But there's a difference between caring what people think, and obsessing over it. If you're worried about what random strangers think, just remember that most of them are focused on their own lives and not whatever you're doing. If it's your own friends/family, and they're being super critical of you, that's a separate issue. In that case, it's always helpful to get a neutral, third party opinion about whether or not their complaints have merit (not here. We're terrible at neutrality.) Even if they do have some merit, bullying isn't a good way to "help" people, but an honest answer can help you decide what to do next. You've got three options here.

1. Confront them. Let them know that they're not being helpful and you don't want to discuss whatever with them anymore.
2. Ignore them. If they're doing it to get a reaction out of you, not giving it to them might be enough to discourage them. If not, just remind yourself that everyone has an opinion, and theirs isn't any better than yours.
3. Cut them off. You're not required to spend time with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Go ahead and let them know why, if you want to, but that's not obligatory either.