[ SECRET POST #3674 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3673 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #525.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

=|

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I need advice about completely changing my life. I currently live with my mother. I am asexual and have no interest in pursuing a relationship so that isn't a problem for me. However, I am best friends with my sister who lives in the same town.

She is in a pretty serious relationship and is thinking of moving to a city two hours away. She has made some comments about wanting me to move with her (as I said, we are best friends). There in lies the problem.

I am working a well paying ($13.50/hour) but dead end job at a small business. It has no benefits (no insurance, time off, sick days, etc) but it is a job I'd never lose. I don't particularly like it and I worry that the physical labor will not be something I can my whole life. The only great thing about it is that I can listen to podcasts and such during work.

The city she is moving to is much larger and would have better opportunities.

However, I am worried with trying to find a job in what may soon be a uncertain time in the economy.

AND I am worried about leaving my mom trying to pay rent and such herself. She would not be able to afford the house we have by herself. So she'd probably have to find a new place to live.

Re: Advice Thread

[morieris]

If she moves, maybe you can join her a bit later after you've saved up some money and talked to your mother?

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I have money saved to put towards a move and my sister (and her boyfriend) want me to be a roommate.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

1. That doesn't sound like a very good job.
2. Decide if you'd want to do it if nothing else was a factor.
3. If yes, see if there are jobs there.
4. Talk to your mom. Maybe she'd welcome a smaller place. Maybe she feels like she really needs you. Maybe there are compromises. You won't know until you ask.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Start applying/searching for jobs now. There's no commitment to taking one, even after an interview, but it'll give you a better feel for what you're in for.

Would it be possible for your mom to rent out a room? But honestly, your mom can't expect you to live there forever. It's unreasonable, and not always healthy.

It sounds like you might have nothing to lose, either way. Go for it, and if you crash and burn just move back to your old job with your old house. *shrug*

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure there is ever such a thing as a time of complete certainty when it comes to the economy and job security. Even if things are going well overall, that doesn't mean a specific job or industry will do well and vice-versa.

This is just me talking, but I don't think I could handle a job for the entirety of my working years if it didn't provide some intellectual stimulation, periodic changes, or room for advancement/change. You also have to consider if you can save for retirement on this and afford health insurance when you are older and more likely to need it (if not now).

Anyway, it sounds like you need to talk to your mom first to make sure you aren't leaving her in the lurch if you move out. You don't have to stay just because she wants you to (although, I notice you say nothing about whether she likes your current living arrangement) but you two could come up with a plan for her if you do move out.

Next, really investigate jobs in this other city. What's available? Like someone else said, start applying for things and see what you can find.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Should I wait to apply since my sister isn't planning to move until May?

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Should also say, my mom doesn't mind the living arrangements. We sort of stay out of eachother's way.

I sort of mentioned to her and she sort of guilted me about it. But then she said she would understand if I moved.

Off topic, but...

[(Anonymous)]

I've seen a few different people say that they're still living with their parents, then mention they're asexual so it's not a big deal. As an asexual person myself, i honestly do not see the connection. Moving in with a significant other, or dating, has nothing to do with independence or where you live. I don't mean to pick on you, I've just seen that concept spoken about several times here and I'm so baffled by it.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

There are advantages and disadvantages to both I can see, so it's probably going to come down to what you really want to do?

I mean, cities do have more opportunity but they also have more competition and are more expensive to live in. Your sister may be your best friend, but if she is eventually going to marry the person she is with she may eventually not want you to live with them. I would look at this city move like it could be a temporary situation, so be prepared for that.

On the other hand if you're not happy with your job and you're looking forward to new experiences, this could be the right move. Definitely talk to your Mother about it, if she relies on your income you may need to work out some sort of plan.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Well, seems like there are two issues here:

1) Worrying about your prospects is smart, but worrying without actually checking to see if your fears are justified is a bit silly. Start looking for a job in the new city. If you find a good one, hooray! If you don't, well, it's still better than not knowing where you stand, employment wise.

2) It's good to be concerned about your mother, but you're not obligated to be her roommate for life just so she can afford a larger living space. If you're on good terms, speak up and let her know you're considering this plan so at least she has a heads up. She may want to take on a housemate herself, or find a place to live that fits her budget.

Re: Advice Thread

[diet_poison]

It sounds like a good opportunity if it's something that interests you. Definitely start looking at jobs now - it doesn't hurt to look!

Re: Advice Thread

[kaijinscendre]

Should I pay off a small chunk of a large student loan with the highest interest OR a large chunk (possibly all) of a smaller student loan with my tax return?

Re: Advice Thread

[philstar22]

I'd say always go for the higher interest. My godmother gave me 5k to pay off part of my student loans, and I used it to pay off the part of my loans that had the highest interest. Interest really adds up.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'd use it to pay off all of the smaller one. Interest adds up but I find it more useful for me, personally, to knock the smaller ones out first because of the feeling of accomplishment--besides, then you can toss whatever payments you were making on the smaller one towards the larger one going forward, which adds to the sense of accomplishment.

Re: Advice Thread

[bur]

Pay off the high interest. It'll save you more money in the long run.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Pay off the smaller one altogether. One burden taken care of!

So far it is 2-2.

[kaijinscendre]

I guess I shall try and do some math to see what might help me in long run.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Can you calculate the savings of one vs the other? It sounds like paying towards the one with the higher interest rate might be the better option but it might not be. The smaller interest rate loan could continue to follow you for longer than it needs to while you you're still chipping away at the big one. Getting rid of one altogether might save you in the long run.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

It's going to be financially better to pay off as much as you can of the highest interest rate.

How you feel about it psychologically, that's up to you.

Re: Advice Thread

[diet_poison]

interest is a bitch, yo.

good luck!

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

This is more a vent than a request for advice (I don't think advice really applies here), I just don't want to make a new thread for it, because replies get less attention. I've realized there are some glaring parallels between one of my favorite fictional heroic characters and one of my least favorite real-life politicians. Now I feel kind of dirty for lusting after enjoying the former because of how deeply I loathe everything the latter stands for. If I like the character and hate the person that much, then clearly they must be different enough in the ways that actually matter, but my initial reaction is taking its time wearing off.

Re: Advice Thread

[soldatsasha]

...Tony Stark and Donald Trump?

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Attractive in fiction = / = Attractive in real life. There are a lot of fictional characters I find interesting and are even attracted to but if they were a real life person they might be problematic at best and downright evil in some instances (I love a good villain in my entertainment.)