fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3701 ]

[ SECRET POST #3701 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3701 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

(BBC Sherlock)

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03.

[Parks and Rec]

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04.

(Shadowhunters, Malec)

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05.

[Judith Martin (Miss Manners)]

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06.

(British comedian Jayde Adams)

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07.

[Regina Mills, Once Upon a Time]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #529.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It really, really sucks. All those women glowing about how beautiful it is are lying. It's wonderful thinking about a baby assuming this is what you want, but the back end of it is uncomfortable and frequently very frightening. Certainly stressful.

So do you understand why someone might want a party? Especially if you're feeling increasingly isolated and alone about all this? A bunch of people to come over and tell you everything will be okay and validate you?

A lot of the attitude seems to be "how dare you presume this matters" and I just get the sense that a lot of us just have no idea what it's like to go through this. Pregnant women need a lot of support dude. They're freaking out.

Edited 2017-02-21 00:47 (UTC)

I hate parties so nah throwing one just sounds like it would stress me out more - but if you really like them I feel like you could have a party for the mom without the pretense of it being about gender. I personally would be much more excited to go to a party that was like a "celebrate how great the mom is!" party or something like that.

It isn't even really about the baby. It's for the woman having the baby. If she's into that stuff, she wants that party. I wouldn't have wanted this if I were having a kid, but I wasn't the one having a kid!

These parties literally aren't about you, they're for the mom/couple.

Edited 2017-02-21 01:15 (UTC)

In that case I will keep myself and my gift home. The mom/ couple can party by themselves.

I doubt you were invited

I will cry myself to sleep over not being invited to participate in the tacky gift grab.

Again, I don't think you were invited.

I'm sure I wasn't. All my friends are too classy for this kind of thing.

anon wasn't even particularly rude about it you don't have to be so defensive of your family's dumb parties.

That's why I'm saying, why not make them explicitly about the mom? Why not have a party to celebrate the mom and not have the farce of it being about gender?

Also, 1. you said surely I could understand why they would want a party then and I was just saying no not really and 2. Yeah its not about me but I don't have to go to these parties either if I don't like the concept, especially if a baby shower is also happening

Because this is the trendy thing right now and nobody wants to be the first person to say "I am having a party to celebrate ME because I am pregnant", I mean look at how much shit women get over every little thing they do already, can you imagine how angry random strangers who don't even know you and aren't even a part of your life would get if you were just like "I am going to have a ME party"? Whereas finding out the sex of your baby is already a thing that people are interested in like literally every time I overhear a pregnant person having a conversation, or I mention someone I know who is pregnant, one of the first questions is "Do they know what it is yet?" which always makes me roll my eyes and want to respond "Yes, a pterodactyl." but like, that's the way our culture is right now and changes are often slow so they're working with what they have.

Now if someone was actually having a pterodactyl, that would be worth celebrating.

I would go to that party, and I would willingly part with my money to buy a pterodactyl present (whatever that might be). In the meantime, I'll stay home.

I mean look at how much shit women get over every little thing they do already, can you imagine how angry random strangers who don't even know you and aren't even a part of your life would get if you were just like "I am going to have a ME party"?

Uh, regular baby showers have been a thing for many, many years. So have bridal showers, the main purpose of which is to celebrate the bride.

Easy fix: The party is officially thrown by someone who isn't the mom (so her partner, her parents, a best friend, w/e) and so the invites are framed as "we are throwing a party for ___ because she's been working so hard a mom to be!"

Okay, but you and I have no control over this. You're free to try and start it as a trend, though?

Um...do we not do that anymore? Because where I come from, you don't throw your own shower. Super tacky. (Your partner/parents shouldn't do it either, but that's not a hill I want to die on.)

NAYRT

I get why you'd want to have the party; I have no objection to the party; my question would be whether you need the excuse of the gender reveal for it

I just really, really want to say thank you for this. Bless you. From one of the (I assume very few) F!Sers who went through pregnancy quite recently... you are awesome. <3

I went through it twice, a while back. Having a party (any party, let alone two each time)is dumb and I wouldn't have dreamt of it, nor did I find pregnancy to 'suck' (being 2 weeks overdue wasn't fun, granted), nor would it have helped me if it had -

Also I didn't want to celebrate having two the same gender much. Didn't even know with no 1 until arrival.

So oddly, "as" someone who has had the same experience as you, I disagree cos guess what - it's not "preggers vs ignorant", it's individual.

Where did I say it wasn't? I was just showing my appreciation for Chard's thoughtfulness. Defensive much?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3701 ]

Here's how: Pregancy sucks.

Re: Here's how: Pregancy sucks.

Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Well with that attitude

Re: Well with that attitude

Re: Well with that attitude

Re: Well with that attitude

Re: Well with that attitude

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Okay but: it's not about you.

Re: Here's how: Pregancy sucks.

Re: Here's how: Pregancy sucks.

matter of opinion

Re: matter of opinion