case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-02-21 06:26 pm

[ SECRET POST #3702 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3702 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #529.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: How to deal with anger?

(Anonymous) 2017-02-22 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
I helped her with her taxes. With my anger, it generally cools down pretty quick. So by the time I got off work, I was calm enough to help her.

Re: How to deal with anger?

(Anonymous) 2017-02-22 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
DA
The question is why are you helping her with her taxes? You're going through a stressful time at work etc. You don't need to take on more tasks that will stress you out more, especially when your mother is perfectly capable of doing her taxes or accessing free help.

I've been guilty of this in the past. I've been a crutch for family members, cared for them, and put aside my (real but not as drastic) problems to assist them. It got to be too much, and affected my own mental health.

It's great that you help your family members, but I'd advise you to sit down and really think about your current mental health and stress level. You can go to your family members and tell them that you're very stressed right now, you could use their support, and you love them but you cannot do extra things to help them right now, such as taxes and [insert here]. They're your family. If they don't understand or accept your boundaries/limitations, that's a different issue.

Re: How to deal with anger?

(Anonymous) 2017-02-22 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
nayrt but I'd echo what the other anon said. It's nice that you could do that, but you should probably ask yourself if it's truly necessary. How did your mom manage to do her taxes before you could help her? What would she do if you weren't around or available to help?

When you're the stable, together person in the family, it's easy to fall into the role of Caretaker of Everything. But honestly, it's not always a good idea. It's one thing to need a little help now and then because everyone does! But your family should be able to survive and even thrive without you, or there's something really wrong here. Your situation right now proves it. You have a limited amount of emotional resources, and you can't always spend it on other people. It'd be best for you and your family if they learned how to do things for themselves rather than waiting for you to bail them out.