[ SECRET POST #3710 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3710 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Glee, Mark Salling]


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03.
[Pokémon/Pokémon TCG]


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04.
[Scandinavia and the World]


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05.
[Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, "Hushabye Mountain"]


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06.
[Star Trek: The Next Generation, Crusher/Picard]


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07.
(Fight Club)











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #530.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Relationship vent

[(Anonymous)]

One thing that I found when I had a similar-ish situation, are you asking and then waiting around/killing time until he says yes? Because we'd get into territory where we'd agree to sex then an hour later when 'just this one thing' was finished it was too awkward to bring up again. Now we go "I'm going to the bedroom to have sex, I'd love if you came in and we had sex together, but if not, enjoy whatever you're doing!" and go in and yup, either have a good wank or have sex. It removed the awkward hazy social thing that surrounds "We should get together sometime soon" "We sure should!" "......." "........" to "We should get together sometime soon. I'm going to the movies on Tuesday, are you free then?"

Also it sounds like more than sex you want them to start initiating affection, so if they're stressed and not in the mood for sex at all, are there other things they can do to show that they're still interested and emotionally invested?

I can understand not wanting to vomit your emotional insecurities on them while they're dealing with a lot, but this is work stress, not a death in the family, but if they love you they should want you happy and it's kind of a dick thing to make them unintentionally hurt you by not telling them they're hurting you. It may be awkward and unpleasant, but it's not healthy to make a habit of avoiding relationship issues because you're afraid of them.

I mean alternatively if this is a really short term thing with a clear end, or something unusual, it's a different situation and solution. "My SO is dying of cancer and I'm also suffering and I can't ask them to support me." means finding outside support groups, etc (and never means 'your emotions and needs are stupid). But "My SO ignores me emotionally when they're not enjoying work." isn't on the same level.

I mean my SO knows that the last day or two of a Big Project I'm going to be burnt out and exhausted and not up for anything besides working or being a couch lump. He accepts this, and it's something that only happens a few times a year and the rest of the time I have/make time for him. If I was constantly having work take all my time and energy so I had nothing left for him it would be a huge problem.