case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-04-15 02:56 pm

[ SECRET POST #3755 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3755 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 50 secrets from Secret Submission Post #536.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah damnit. There's a mini convention next week in my town and a fandom acquaintance badgered from another town me into inviting them over at my place to come and attend it.
They came once last year and criticized every single little thing about the house during their stay, I hated the whole experience and hoped I would never have to do it again. But they just asked out of the blue "I'm going to the con too, already got my tickets, I can crash at your place of course?" on a public chatroom in front of several of our mutual friends so I had no time to make up a good excuse and no way to just say no without looking like an asshole to our friends.
I hate myself and I hate them even more! In fact, I don't think I should refer to them as a friend anymore. Augh!!

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Next time make your automatic answer no, don't even worry about the excuse.

I've had too many people take advantage of me when they want a place to crash, I just started saying no. I've had people get pissy about it but it never actually ended a friendship, I don't think being a friend means you are REQUIRED to house people and no one should expect it automatically even if they've stayed with you before.

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Make up something you "have to check" and then use the time to make up an excuse

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
"No" is a complete sentence.

And if that doesn't work, say "Your cheap as fuck ass crashed here last year, FOR FREE, and all you did was complain about my house, and I fucking SEE you asking in front of a crowd in a pathetic attempt to try and shame me into putting your loser shit up again, for free, so FUCK NO.

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)
like, shit, dude. nobody in my life, not even family members, can ask me to crash at my place with a 1 week notice. family and very close friends (the kind who would give me a kidney if I needed it) at least get the courtesy of me checking my schedule to make sure I'm not, oh, working or having of appointments or mowing the lawn that weekend.

practice "let me check my schedule." practice "I'm not sure let me get back to you." never fucking say yes even in front of other internet people. even if you've already said going to said con sounds fun.

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
If you keep saying yes, they're going to keep asking.

Re: pwned

[personal profile] sachiko_san 2017-04-15 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
If you can't back out of it, if they start criticizing again, tell them off. You're letting them stay there for free and they wanna bitch? Tell them to get out if they hate it so much. If they continue, tell them they are no longer welcome at your house. If they pull this same shit again next year (asking in the chatroom), just say "I let you stay here last time and all you did was complain. No."

+1

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
This is good advice.

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
THIS. At the first complaint, I'd boot their ungrateful ass. It's bad enough they're mooching, but someone is nice enough to let you stay at their house for free, you should try to be the perfect houseguest. Compliment the house/decor, bring them a present, take them out to dinner to say thank you, etc.
tabaqui: (Default)

Re: pwned

[personal profile] tabaqui 2017-04-15 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
If they start going on and on about your house, just say 'look, you're stressing me the hell out and making me angry with your carping. If you don't like it here, feel free to go get a hotel, or just stop with the badmouthing.'

And yeah, next time, make 'no' your auto-answer. A no can be changed to a yes. Sadly, a yes can't be changed to a no.

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-16 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
"Sadly, a yes can't be changed to a no."

Sure it can. It's OP's house. Agreeing to host someone on an impulse isn't a contract written in stone and they're allowed to change their minds whenever they want, for whatever reason they want. They might lose a friend, but since this person is a jerk and OP doesn't like them anyway, it's not a big loss.

Re: pwned

(Anonymous) 2017-04-15 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"I can crash at your place of course?"

Only an asshole phrases a "request" like that, and request is in quotes for a reason. Tell them that actually sorry, you can't. Only apologize the first time and keep it short. Do NOT give them any reasons why, because an asshole like your acquaintance will just see it as an opening argument in a debate and will keep badgering you and trying to get around your excuses. Just keep saying, "It won't work for me." Feel free to send them a list of hotel suggestions.

Also, don't worry about looking like an asshole in front of your other chat room friends. Reasonable people will understand that it's fucking RUDE to assume you can use someone's house like a free hotel and if they don't get that, they're assholes, too. Fuck 'em. If there are any people you feel close to and trust, feel free to explain to them in private (IF they ask) that the asshole was a terrible houseguest and you don't want to repeat the experience.