fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3772 ]

Reminds me of all those people screeching "you're a transphobic bigot if you don't want to fuck a pre-OP transperson" - especially aimed at lesbian and gay people. I always think it gives off some massively skeevy, rapey vibes to tell people they have to ignore their own sexuality and limits of attraction and willingness to perform certain sex acts just to not offend someone else. If a gay dude isn't into pussy and a lesbian chick isn't into dick, it's their damn right to refuse to have sex with a person with a pussy or dick.

I thought "No means no" and not "No means no unless it's a trans person demanding sex, then your consent doesn't mean shit".

Can you please point them out? Because jayzus h christ I see this brought up all the damn time but I've never seen the actual accusations.

I mean I've seen shit before like "If you say you won't ever date a trans person because they're disgusting then you're a shitty person." And seen lots of people wanting trans people to give them the headpat and go-ahead that if they're really skeeved out they don't have to feel guilty and can still be A Good Person even though no fats no blacks no trannys on their grindr. I've literally never seen someone saying you have to fuck someone you've not attracted to. And... you know, dating is kind of that step where you figure out if you want to fuck someone or not so don't play stupid and pretend there's no way to take someone out for coffee without sampling the pantsgoodies first.

But then again I've gotten a lot of "No self-respecting lesbian would fuck a bi lady because who wants a vagina once some disgusting cock has ruined it. Lesbians hate cock, this isn't rocket science." So I'm kind of 110% done with people defending the LG's rights to shit on the rest of the alphabet if they want to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X-PgHSZh6U

I've seen it a LOT on several platforms and in real life so excuse me if I don't go hunting down every single person who ever said it. Clearly, since you've never seen it, it doesn't exist.
And no, if someone is 100% sure that they, for example, aren't into dick or pussy, they're not obligated to give a person with said dick or pussy a few trial dates to see if they maybe ~get over it and change their mind~.

Newsflash: People don't owe other people sex. No matter their gender, skin colour, weight or anything else. And even if, for example a lesbian WAS a bigot who doesn't want to fuck a bi chick for the reason you mentioned, that maybe makes them a shitty person but it still doesn't negate their right to refuse to have sex with them. It's really not that hard.

They're never obligated, but if I say I think blacks are disgusting and I'd never date one, I'd be a racist asshole. Am I fucking obligated to date every ethnicity to prove I'm not racist? Nah. We accept that if you think people outside your ethnic group turn you off in the pantsparts then you just quietly date inside your ethnic group and don't brag about how racist your pantspart are.

So why should I give a gay dude a cookie for bragging about how transphobic his dick is? Or how biphobic some lesbian's cooch is?

Agreed, and if someone actually says "Trans people are disgusting and I'll never date one" I'll be right there with you while you work the kidneys, but that is not what we are talking about. We are talking about people saying I'm not attracted to certain things, in this case dicks or pussies, and being shamed for it.

We are talking about people hearing "I will not sleep with a woman who has a dick because I am a gay woman or straight man and therefore my sexuality which I can't change and shouldn't be expected to change will not allow me to sleep with anyone without a pussy" Or "I won't sleep with a man who has a pussy because I'm a straight woman or a gay man and therefore my sexuality which I can't change and shouldn't be expected to change will not allow me to sleep with anyone without a dick" and then treating that person like they have a "Transphobic Dick" and them being unable to state their gender preference without being accused of "bragging" about it - seriously you hear how what you just said there sounds like the older homophobes and their reaction to gay people admitting they're gay? "Gay people can do whatever disgusting thing they want, I just wish they wouldn't rub it in our faces"? I mean "Gay people can be transphobes if they want, I just wish they wouldn't brag about it" - we are talking about people hearing that other peoplea sexual preference include certain areas of gender and sex and then react like they just said: "Trans people are disgusting and I'll never date one". If so!one says that, you go in hard and fast, I won't stop you, but if they don't say that, if they intact just want to be free to fuck only the people or parts they want, just leave them the fuck alone.

I bet this community is full of people who don't want to fuck me, for various reasons, some sensible, some petty, some are to do with things beyond my or their control. They are all good reasons, because a person should NEVER be made to feel bad for their sexuality. No one should be made to feel guilty for their sexuality, and throwing around words like Transphobia at anything other than actual transphobia is a shaming tactic, and you fucking know it.

Edited 2017-05-03 19:59 (UTC)

Erm... That is to say "I respectfully disagree with your conclusion, friend"

How would you feel if all day long you had all the people who wouldn't want to fuck you, for whatever reason, paraded in front of you so they could ask you to tell them you still think they're cool and good people even though they'd rather die than see you as attractive? Wouldn't you be kind of annoyed?

The homophobia thing doesn't work because I'm not saying 'don't be gay.' I'm saying don't brag about your transphobia. A cis gay guy dating another cis gay guy is not rubbing his transphobia in people's faces. A cis gay guy either bragging about how he finds trans guys disgusting or asking them to take his confession and absolve his guilt isn't cool. Especially when it's usually coupled with "I'm attracted to guys, but not those SPECIFIC guys, so that means they're not really guys."

I mean come on, we just had the discussion on how people believe trap applies to real life people because you see a hot woman and then find out they're REALLY A MAN, BAYBEE according to the 'trapped' person. But people still think people loudly declaring that they're attracted to WOMEN so they'd never be attracted to a tranny is just a harmless expression of preference with no transphobia attached?

Believe me, I don't want transphobic people to be raped by trans people any more than I want racists to be raped by scary minorities, I just want it met with the eyerolling it deserves instead of sympathy and "Well duh, of course it's not natural to be attracted to people outside your ethnic group. " Plus it tends to overlook that there are gay men and lesbians who are perfectly happy with trans people and get pretty upset that they're being told they have to ID as bi/pan/straight or they're invalidating others.

You seem to have a huge chip on your shoulder since you are the only person here constantly bringing up people "parading it around" unprovoked. If I were you, I'd say "well point all those people who do this out to me", but I'm not fond of double standards.

How would you feel if all day long you had all the people who wouldn't want to fuck you, for whatever reason, paraded in front of you so they could ask you to tell them you still think they're cool and good people even though they'd rather die than see you as attractive? Wouldn't you be kind of annoyed?

Yeah, I'd be irritated, but that irritation would be mine to bear, cause you know what happens I snap and tall one of them to go fuck the!selves? I think the current buzzword for that is "Male entitlement" or "Toxic masculinity" or some other term for being a dick to people because they won't sleep with me. Long and the short of it is, yeah, it hurts, welcome!e to being human. You find a way to process that hurt until you find the person people who will fuck you. Not taking that hurt out on people simply because they won't do what I want with my genitals is what everyone has to do. Occasionally you'll get lucky and find so!one who is unnecessarily rude about not wanting to fuck you, then you get to unload, but for everyone else, yeah, it sucks. Its your problems. Deal with it like the rest if us have to and don't guilt or shame people who won't fuck you.

The homophobia thing doesn't work because I'm not saying 'don't be gay.' I'm saying don't brag about your transphobia

Yes, but based on what were talking about here - people having sexual attractions to specific sexual organs - You seem to be calling transphobia on any sexual identity that is sex organ exclusive - For example a gay man that needs his partner to have a penis to be sexually aroused. - Your then telling people not to "Brag" - Which based on what were talking about here seems to mean "Being open about the preference". Like, picture a sitcom antagonist saying this to a male character who brings up his sexuality "I can't stop you only having sex with people with penis's, even tho your choice of lifestyle is an attack on the church, but to you have to brag about it?" Now that character is a homophobe, right? Because it seems to me your hearing people talk about how their sexuality necessitates a specific configuration of genitals ad your saying "I can't stop you only having sex with people with penis's, even tho your choice of lifestyle is transphobic, but to you have to brag about it?"

Let me put it this way. I would really like to bang Ellen Page. Who wouldn't? I see her in a bar, and I go up to her and try my luck. She says "No, I only like clam, you have the wrong genitals for me" do I have any right to be a dick about it? Do I get to say "Quit bragging about how heterophobic your cooch is"? No. All other concerns aside, just on principal that would be an entitled dickish thing to do.

You keep saying "Bragging" and I think I've covered exactly why that doesn't work, and I've also covered the difference in situations between "Trans people are disgusting" and "I don't date people shoes genitals do not fit my sexual preference" quite well. If your future points are going to revolve around the idea that admitting a preference is bragging, or continuing to focus on the people we both agree are dicks, those people that I am not trying to defend, I am taking about the other people. The people who can express an opinion without being dicks, then... Well we might be at this for some time.

And yeah, there are people who don't understand the difference between 'traps' and transexuals, those people are ignorant, a there are people who don't care, those people are dicks. And YES, ofcourse transphobia is a thing, a thing that might well colour a persons preferences, but I submit to you that its possible to have those preferences and have them come from just the same utterly harmless places as every other gender preference. Some people are gay, some people are straight, some people need their partner to have a penis, or beautiful feet, or be clad head to toe in rubber, or be over 6 ft, or under 200 lbs, or be a pony. Its not always from a place of hate or disgust. And treating those preferences like Transphobia or any other hateful thing when its not evidently a factor is in itself hateful. Shaming and guilting people for their preferences is just. Plain. Wrong.

You know, I get what you think you're trying to prove, but dude, DUDE, using yourself as am example for who a lesbian wouldn't date as equivalent to her not wanting to date a lady kind of makes it sound like you're on the side of trans ladies being secretly men.

Your right that could come off like I'm trying to say "Trans women are men like me". Which isn't what I'm getting at, but I take your point. My apologies. My example was not trying to use my gender as an example, but rather my sex organs. Like a lesbian may be just as off put by my sex organs as by a trans woman's sex organs, and whoever it is that acts entitled to the lesbian putting aside their preferences, which ever gender displays that attitude it is just as shitty.

My purpose is simply that if you want to show a type of behaviour as bad, then the best example, the one that will resonate as vile with the most number of people into show a man having that attitude to a woman.

You brought up the whole "disgusting" business and how people are "bragging" about not wanting to fuck everyone here but that's not what this is about.

I used a wall of text to basically say this. This was all I needed to put. This.

[ SECRET POST #3772 ]

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