[ SECRET POST #3774 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3774 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 13 secrets from Secret Submission Post #540.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Romantic advice/rant thread

[diet_poison]

I live in a medium-sized city* with shitty public transit, so take this with a big grain of salt, but it does seem pretty inconsiderate. Any time I am trying to meet up with someone, and it's not someone I know well enough to just be like "ok come over lol" or "dinner at your house?", we always talk about what's close to me, what's close to them, and what's in the middle, and both parties are aware of what's convenient for the other person. That just seems like par for the course. On the other hand, along that same line of thought - does she realize it would take you that long to get to those places, and have you made it clear why it's difficult for you to do that? You mentioned her not "taking hints", and like, hints are not a good way to communicate with people. She may not realize that this is actually a pain in the ass to you.

That said, it may be that it's important to her for a partner to have a car, so that she has the flexibility to meet them places like that. That may be an outcome. She might not want to drive all the way across town all the time. On the other hand, her willingness to apparently go out of the way to meet all the time makes me wonder if that's actually the case.

I can understand not wanting to park in the city, but if you are unable to drive and she's unwilling to use public transit to meet you, that might be a matter of incompatibility. (I have to wonder though why she's unwilling to take public transit? Is it really expensive, or...?)

Maybe not, though. Talk to her about it. Good luck!

*during non-rush hour it takes idk, 30-45 min to drive from the farthest point of one side of the city to the other, depending on how you define those points, so this may just be a really bad example for comparison

Re: Romantic advice/rant thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I guess so. I mean I'm from a... small city, I guess? where public transportation doesn't exist so everyone drives everywhere and parking is always free and available. Even so, driving from one end of town to the other could easily take 35 minutes or so, depending on traffic. But that doesn't seem that terrible to me. An hour, on the other hand, is a quite a commitment, and I'm already not a very outgoing person. I'm the type that has to push myself to go out the door even for fun things - not that I don't enjoy socializing or trying new things, but the process of going out is a lot of mental work for me so the thought of putting a lot of time into the journey too is a little exasperating.

I mean, every time I've rejected her suggestions, I've mentioned time/distance being a factor. But I get the sense she's also a lot more outgoing than me, and like to find trendy, off-the-beaten-path events or bars or whatever. We may not be romantically compatible for a number of reasons in that regard. I'll suggest some closer places and if that doesn't work out, oh well.

Re: Romantic advice/rant thread

[diet_poison]

Sounds like she is just a lot more outgoing and adventurous. Maybe those are things you could do with her if you get to know her really well and pursue a friendship/romance? But sometimes it can be hard for people who are outgoing to understand how much labor that is for other people.

Definitely sounds like a conversation you should have. If you really hit it off with her then I hope you find a way to be friends at least! And maybe you can find some places that are interesting/exciting for her but not so hard to get to for you?