[ SECRET POST #3778 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3778 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 36 secrets from Secret Submission Post #541.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

LoTR crossover

[(Anonymous)]

For some reason the other day, I was thinking about people eating hobbits. It might have happened in the books once (Lotho... maybe). They'd be fat enough, and not too big. But maybe it would be mean, unless you stuck to eating Sackville-Bagginses.

Then I though, maybe elves would be a better choice, morally. They get reincarnated, so eating one would just be sending it off to a nice life in Valinor. Of course, catching an elf would be difficult, so you'd have to get them to agree to it. Maybe present it as a service. Want to go to Valinor, but you don't have a ship, can't/don't want to build one, and no one will take you? We'll send you there with no fuss, no ships necessary! Sure, there's a stopover in the halls of Mandos, but think how much money you'll save.

But they're probably too big for one person or family, though. But that just means you could sell some of it! Elf sausage, elf bacon, elf-liverwurst, the possibilities are endless.

This made me think of something from an entirely different fandom. A shmoo. Shmoos (or shmoon) can taste like almost any kind of meat depending on how you cook them, they're reproduce asexually and prolifically, and they want to be eaten!

So, anyway, one could possibly make elves fit the role of shmoos. Possibly, you could say it's a moral obligation for them. Do you think this would be a good business in Middle -Earth? Would people buy fried elf or elf-stew or elf sandwiches? How would it taste?

Found the troll!

[raspberryrain]

Yuck.

Re: Found the troll!

[(Anonymous)]

You accidentally ate a troll? I don't know how that got in there. Maybe I need better quality control.

Re: LoTR crossover

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think they would eat elves. People generally have a harder time eating animals/creatures they can communicate and be friends with.

Though....dwarves might eat elves.

Re: LoTR crossover

[(Anonymous)]

Well, what about the obnoxious ones that no one would want to be friends with? Like Saeros, maybe? Or would he just taste bitter?

Re: LoTR crossover

[(Anonymous)]

LOL! Did all this thought spring from the "looks like meat's back on the menu" line from the films?

Re: LoTR crossover

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, just stuff I was thinking about.