[ SECRET POST #3812 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3812 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 38 secrets from Secret Submission Post #546.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

So, I broke up w/ a guy a couple days ago and the reason was largely that I have some mental issues such as fear of commitment and not feeling like i deserved any sort of happy relationship (I've been abused before heh) and I thought it would effect the way I acted and the way I treated him.

But I've recently wondered if it was a mistake, if I just thought that as a way to hurt myself, and if I should call him to talk about things, but would calling him just be leading him on? Would that be selfish of me? Would it be better to just let it lie? I honestly don't know. Any advice?

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I think you should just learn to chill and not be so wound up about stuff.

Full disclosure: I didn't actually read what the "problem" was, I just figure that advice is applicable anyway.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think you should call him, no. I think until you yourself are in a better place, it's not going to be fair to you OR him if you keep yo-yoing around in a relationship.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Leave him alone. You're feeling regret and the break up equivalent of buyer's remorse and it may or may not pass but you haven't given yourself enough time for things to settle down and figure out what you want from life. Often people seek closure from other people, but honestly, you need to give it to yourself and NOT rely upon others to give it to you.

Or to put it bluntly, in the few days you've been broken up, have all the issues that caused you to break up with him been fixed? Probably not, right? So it's likely to end up the exact same way. Don't drag it out. Call a friend for emotional support, engage in some kind self-care and give yourself time and space from your ex so you (and he) can heal.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

you can try to initiate an honest conversation about what happened if you feel strongly enough about it. but you should have resorted to communication in the first place. if he is no longer amenable to talking to you because he's trying to get over the relationship, then you have to respect that.

to conclude: yes to trying, but be mindful in how you proceed, and leave it to him to decide whether or not to follow up. (and I hope you're seeking outside help for your problems.)

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Obviously, you deserve to be happy. But is getting back together with this fella going to do anything to address the underlying issues that caused you to break up with him?