[ SECRET POST #3862 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3862 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[FunkoPOP]


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03.
[Game of Thrones]


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04.
[Power Rangers 2017, Erica Cerra]


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05.
[Legend of Korra]


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06.
[Peter Capaldi]


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07.
[Gerard Way in "Ghost of You", Harry Styles in Dunkirk]

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08.
[Fargo Season 3]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #553.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Which sells exactly the same publisher-authorized (and announced through the trades) fanboy-driven pornface merchandise.

[(Anonymous)]

lol God your being thick if you think the mass produced shit you find in LCS is the same as finding stuff on the internet. OFC they buy the porny shit because that's what they're putting on display for neckbeards. Take two seconds on Google and you'll find non-porn figures.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Really, you're just mad that someone paid $10 for a cute piece of kitsch as opposed to say, $60 for sexy Spider Gwen:

https://www.amazon.com/Spider-Gwen-Gallery-Figurine-Official-Trading/dp/B06ZZ82Y91/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501554657&sr=8-1&keywords=spider+gwen+figurine

Or this $90 Harley:

https://www.amazon.com/DC-Collectibles-Comics-Designer-Harley/dp/B01CARA7FI/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1501554947&sr=8-4&keywords=harley+quinn+figure

$45 for double-amputee Wonder Woman:

https://www.amazon.com/DC-Collectibles-Comics-Super-Heroes/dp/B010HMD49O/ref=sr_1_20?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1501555197&sr=1-20&keywords=wonder+woman+statue

(To be fair, the Wonder Woman barbies don't entirely suck, but they're overpriced right now. There's a couple of Wonder Woman statues that don't completely suck, but they're $150 and $275 for something that looks only slightly better than $10 action figures glued to a base.)

And oh, let's do a google search:

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&q=comic%20book%20statues&tbs=imgo:1

Porny Raven, Porny Black Adam, Porny someone with a Union Jack, Porny Harley, Porny and cute Black Widow, semi-porny Batwoman, and WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING WITH BATMAN, Porny Red Hulk who may have been in a Tom of Finland print, super Porny Catwoman, Porny Catwoman making out with Porny Batman, Porny Phoenix and Porny Madeline Pryor, and did Carol Danvers ever wear that porny outfit?

Oh wait, there's an R2D2 that's not entirely cringe-worthy. Of course, a related image pairs R2D2 with porny Leia, but then again, what I wrote was "most" so R2D2 is an exception that proves the rule.

So there you go. I googled it, and found a big pile of ugly and overpriced crap. (Even worse than Disney merchandise, which is crap, but generally not offensively ugly crap.)

[(Anonymous)]

Different markets, different targets. I see nothing wrong with those 'porny' figures you linked, but I did grow up with gatchapons of female characters that show off their panties so I guess that just proves your point.

I don't like Funko Pops (and I hate going to cons just to see millions of those things instead of the porny anime shit that I went there for) but okay.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I'm not really seeing the porny aspect or broken spines. The worst of it doesn't look much different from mild sex appeal you'd see in daytime ads and definitely not to the level of secret masturbation stash.

[(Anonymous)]

I actually collect some funkos so nice try. None of those are porny. They all are reflecting the art style of some form they have appeared in, hell the Harley Quinn one is literally her appearance in BTAS. And "double amputee" Wonder Woman is a bust. All this shows me is that you have zero idea of what your talking about and have never seen what real porny/wankbait statues are and if you find those offensive to the eyes then you aren't a comic fan and have no business criticizing people who collect them and getting morally superior over those that do.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

None of those are porny.

Let's see, overly exaggerated secondary sexual characteristics designed for sex appeal, combined with provocative poses? Yep, porny.

They all are reflecting the art style of some form they have appeared in, hell the Harley Quinn one is literally her appearance in BTAS.

So, cheesecake sculpture reflects the cheesecake sensibility of the print trash you collect?

And "double amputee" Wonder Woman is a bust.

A "bust" usually presents the figure from about the mid-sternum up. There's very few precedents for including the pelvis and amputated thighs.

All this shows me is that you have zero idea ... (bulshit bullshit bullshit) ... you aren't a comic fan ... (bulshit bullshit bulshit)

LOL. I have more than enough comics to know better. In fact, I have more than enough porn comics to know better. It doesn't mean that I'm going to decorate my house with T&A Harley or Tom of Finland Batman.

[(Anonymous)]

Blah blah blah more performative posturing about how you're more enlightened and moral superior than everyone else. You still clearly have no idea what real cheesecake figures are because at the end of the day: those aren't them.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

performative posturing

Blowing those dogwhistles much?

Note that I didn't say that I'm morally superior, just less willing to pay $60 for overpriced and badly designed crap.

You still clearly have no idea what real cheesecake figures are because at the end of the day: those aren't them.

There's no way that Spider Gwen makes sense as a character or action pose. The only way it makes sense is if we follow the lead of the leering goblin in the wall.

[(Anonymous)]

You don't have to say anything. Your attitude and snobbery about how you aren't "stupid enough" to spend money on "porn" and calling people who like them "horny teenaged boys" says more than enough.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Don't use quote marks if you're paraphrasing (badly) rather than quoting.

And in fact, while I've been critiquing the genre of collectable comic book sculptures, you've offered nothing other than personal attacks on me as a person, so this conversation is done.

[(Anonymous)]

Lol kbai. Keep being upset over the fact that people just called funkos ugly and cheap and how you mounted your high horse to crusade about how much better you are over "porn statues."

[(Anonymous)]

DA This thread was about the difference in prices before you came along with your secondhand embarrassment about porny figures. Come on, dude.

[(Anonymous)]

It's amazing that you actually try to compare the price of high quality figures with Funkos, which are as cheaply made as it gets. And if they're ugly or not is a matter of opinion, just like with Funkos. Stop trying to pass your biased opinion off as fact.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Why not. At the end of the day, a $10 Funko looks like a $10 Funko.

That $60 Spider Gwen, in contrast, is a "gallery" pice and a "collectable." But, there's at least one visible seam, that pose is just plain wrong for the action shown. Her three points of support are below and behind her body but there's no sense the dynamic instability that should cause. She's throwing webs with her left hand but the action stops at her shoulder. There's really no way that pose makes sense unless you follow the cue of the leering goblin and realize it's not really about throwing webs, it's about having a cute model in skintight clothing pose against a wall.