[ SECRET POST #3919 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3919 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[The Magnus Archives Podcast]


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03.
[saiyuki reload blast]


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04.
[Somali to Mori no Kami-sama]


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05.
[Christopher from an old season of Project Runway]


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06.
[Tusk]


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07.
[David Tennant and Michael Sheen in Good Omens]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #561.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 (marked as Iron Fist/Luke Cage) - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

06. https://i.imgur.com/I3XDVv1.jpg
[Tusk]

[(Anonymous)]

AHHHHHHHHH you made me see that with my own two eyes! :(

No seriously, wtf.

[(Anonymous)]

The problem is, most of his 90s movies aren't actually very good either in retrospect. Clerks is still good, but Dogma and Mallrats are just OK and Chasing Amy really doesn't hold up IMO.

He seems like a nice enough guy though so I'm cool if he wants to just get high and have sex and talk about comic books all the time, probably what i would do if i was rich tbh

[(Anonymous)]

Tbh I'd be perfectly satisfied with something along the lines of Clerks II. I don't look for movies to be timeless, and I'm okay with them being an evocative snapshot of a particular era.

[(Anonymous)]

That's a totally valid preference to have, obviously, but if that is your preference I don't think you can talk about the quality of the movies being what you care about.

Because Clerks II is definitely not a good movie. I feel that very strongly.

[(Anonymous)]

"... I don't think you can talk about..."

Nah. Pretty sure I can talk about whatever I want. Especially when it's what criteria I choose to use, for determining what media I like. You can feel differently, of course, but luckily, your opinions on what I can and cannot say aren't very relevant.

[(Anonymous)]

OK

That's a totally valid preference to have, obviously, but if that is your preference I don't think it makes sense or is coherent to talk about the quality of the movies being what you care about.

Because Clerks II is definitely not a good movie. I feel that very strongly.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure why you think my personal criteria for deciding what I do and don't like needs to make sense to you, a person who is not me. Preferences are personal. They follow the logic of the individual who has them, because it doesn't make any sense for me to have preferences based on what someone else thinks is good. Also where did I claim that Clerks II was objectively a good movie? I liked it. I don't mistake my enjoyment of it as proof it's a critical success.

[(Anonymous)]

That's a totally valid preference to have, obviously, but I feel very strongly that Clerks II is not a good movie

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt I'm not a Kevin Smith fan but you're kind of being a dick here.

[(Anonymous)]

I know I'm being snarky but I'm also not sure how else to respond, when someone responds to a post that says "That's a totally valid preference to have" with "Why are you saying my preferences aren't valid".

My point in my original post was that I don't think that Kevin Smith's movies, outside of Clerks, are very good. And my other point is that, while it's totally valid to just want things that feel like 90s Kevin Smith movies, if that's all you're asking for, it's probably doesn't have much to do with the quality of the movies, which is what my post was about, and also what OP's problem with Kevin Smith's recent output was.

Dunno what else to say really.

[(Anonymous)]

ahhhh I remember this movie

I always thought the body horror element was interesting, gross, and creative, but I was always confused on how exactly the professor turned justin long into a walrus. Like, is he stitched inside that walrus suit....? Or is the walrus suit actually apart of his body....??
idk maybe I'm just stupid

/has nothing else to add

[(Anonymous)]

Gory description inbound:

His arms and legs were surgically mutated into flippers, with his own bones and skin being moved around to accommodate the desired shape; his teeth were broken out and the tusks were fused with his upper jawbone; and the walrus suit (presumably made of the patched-together skin of other murdered people and maybe an actual fucking walrus) was sewn on top of him like a big blubbery cloak and fused into his own skin in such a way that, between the tightness of it and the way his arms and legs were contorted/rebroken, he couldn't help but move in a prone/curled up way that resembled a walrus waddle.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, the only good thing about that mess was G-Way singing "O Waly Waly." That song is way too good for that movie. XD But I think he knew that shit was bad when he made it.

I still like Dogma, but I love his stories about Hollywood and his enthusiasm about EVERYTHING COMICS and his ridiculous youtube show even better, and there's worse things to do than occasionally fucking around behind a camera making bad movies.

[(Anonymous)]

Old MCR fan here... I haven't seen the movie, but I loved that song cover. And honestly, having the freedom and money to fuck around making bad movies sounds like a lot of fun. If I'm ever a millionire, I'll give it a try!

[(Anonymous)]

Hell yeah, me too. And HI FELLO OLD FAN. I don't know if you're into comics but Gerard was a guest on Kevin Smith's show talking about everything he's been up to. It's good seeing him doing the thing he's always wanted to do even before MCR.

https://youtu.be/LULmYaHH4Rc

[(Anonymous)]

/high fives a fellow fan

I'm not into comics but that looks like something I'd still like to listen to, thanks! I'm happy and ngl, kind of envious of Gerard fulfilling that lifelong ambition.

[(Anonymous)]

This is horrifying.


That being said, Kevin Smith movies have never been what I would call high quality. They're entertaining for a certain demographic and can be fun but good? Nah. And I'm saying this as someone who still loves Mallrats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. (I think Dogma could have been good, but the lead lady was terrible and sucked a lot of the fun out of anything.)

[(Anonymous)]

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is hilarrible, especially when I'm wasted. The closing scene when they're flying around the country beating down anyone that talked shit about them online goes straight to my id.

[(Anonymous)]

I just read the plot synopsis of this. Jeez. This was a movie that was made. It had a budget. People paid to see it. Wow.

[(Anonymous)]

Dept of backstory: Smith came across an actual Craigslist ad one night wherein an elderly man was looking for someone to come over to his house and dress up in a walrus costume, ostensibly for yiffing, but the ad stated very clearly the person was never to break character, had to full-on pretend to be an actual walrus the entire time. Smith and his buddies, stoned as shit one must assume, started musing aloud about what the old man's motivations must be. I think "serial killer with a walrus fetish" is where most of us would take it, have a few laughs and leave it at that... except Kevin Smith is a director and has money and producer friends, and Human Centipede was a thing that had recently happened to modest success, so... walrus movie.

The craigslist ad ended up being a hoax, if that makes you feel any better about the world. XD

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, this movie traumatized me. Although on reflection I'm not sure what I expected.

[(Anonymous)]

That image made me lose my appetite for the dinner I just sat down to eat while I browse FS.

Red White and Never Blue :P

[dancinbutterfly]

I loved this movie. I couldn't handle the Human Centipede when it came out but I love body horror where a mad scientist does something FUCKING HORRIBLE TO UNWILLING VICTIMS - have since the cartoon Gargoyles went down that route in the 90s. So that someone went down that route without feeling the need to get all fecal on me was great for me. Throw in the housing ad hoax element (it was genius btw), the fact that you can literally listen to the plot evolve as Kevin and Scott Mosier talk about it, that Justin Long pretty much does all his acting with his eyes and body, that Michael Parks to pontificates as a glorious psychopath with zoophiliac tendencies that feels like a good ole fashioned B movie? You've got a flick that is just so good for me.

It was everything I want my trash to be, terrible, embarrassing, and smelling vaguely of fish.

When's Moose Jaws come out again? I needs me some Moose Jaws.

[(Anonymous)]

Man, that movie had me all kinds of fucks up. Thanks for reminding me that it actually exists and wasn't some kind of nightmare.