fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #527 ]

[ SECRET POST #527 ]

⌈ Secret Post #527 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 18 pages, 442 secrets from Secret Submission Post #076.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 (again) 5 6 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In response to all of this, I'm sorry that my attitude comes off this way, I really am. My standards are basically that I like fics where people have thought about what they're writing and really put effort into it, which in a fandom the size of KH is exceedingly rare. And I don't like a lot of fics that are up to my standards just because there are things about them that are more of an Earl Gray than an orange pekoe, not because they're bad by any means. And I don't think other people's interpretations of Axel are necessarily bad - in fact, if the fic is good usually Axel's fine. Maybe not my Axel, but still a good Axel. But I love to talk about him, love it, and I want to hear what other people think about him, which is why I'm always starting debates. I enjoy arguing a lot, which anyone could see by, say, following my political posts, and that gets me into trouble sometimes.

The interpretations I'm always railing against are the ones that start off as mediocre characterizations in the first place and then spread through the fandom like they're carried by fleas on rats - same as bad, overused interps of every other character, same as high school AU. I admit that I'm sensitive about Axel, but I'm fully aware that he's not mine. If any of you are responding to the time that I made myself Grand High Arbiter of Axel months ago, please remember that that was tongue-in-cheek and a little self-effacing and that the whole point was that everyone who wanted to could pick something they wanted to lord over and get a little banner for their userinfo - a banner that I never even put in my own info.

I guess I probably can't change anyone's mind about me, and honestly I couldn't care less if you don't like my characterization or my stories or my writing - I didn't realize I was even well-known enough for people to care either way. But I think that if you actually took the time to talk to me and maybe point out to me personally that you think I'm a cunt, you might discover that I am not necessarily my ethos. So stop being chickenshit and bitch directly to me next time. If you're respectful, I'll be respectful too.

Actually, if you go back and re-read what was complained about, it was all justified with explanation and I'm pretty positive nobody said you were a cunt. You do realize this is an argument of opinion and nobody is right or wrong...right? For your information, I just saw the secret when the post was made and decided, "Wow, her fics must be really good to inspire someone like that." So I checked your LJ, which was plainly posted, looked up your work, and was...less than inspired. I never said you were a cunt or a terrible writer--no one did. In fact, I personally mentioned you were actually a good writer. All we said was your attitude was pretty arrogant and your characterizations weren't the shit you seemed to think they were, In Our Humble Opinion.

Your hypocrisy is showing. If you 'couldn't care less' then you wouldn't be snapping at a couple of anonymous complaints about your work. Your ability to be respectful looks pretty dubious from where I'm standing.

I said that I would be respectful in response to respectfulness, and not bringing your issues with me up with me and doing it anonymously in some comm is not quite what I'd consider respectful.

You seem to have completely misunderstood what I'm attempting to say. I get people telling me that they don't like this or that about my stories and people telling me that my stories don't do anything for them and when people leave me comments like that I respond to them just as I respond to every other comment I get, and I've never gotten hurt about it. I don't care if people don't like what I write, and I respond to the comments because I want people to know that I appreciate that they took the time to tell me what they think, no matter what they think.

What I'm saying is that I don't really think what I've come off as thinking. When I make a statement about Axel, it's not because I think that my statements are definitive. They're not, I'm not Nomura. I make my cases about him the way any academic would make a case about any fictional character or about anything at all - by stating my position like fact and then inviting criticism and debate, and I enjoy engaging people. And I've done the same on aspects of KH that are not, in fact, Axel. If people misinterpret that, well, all I can do is say that they're misunderstanding me and that I understand why and that that's still not the way I mean things.

But if you don't like the way I characterize I can only scratch my head at why you care this much. I don't like the way a lot of authors do things but I don't even remember the names of the authors whose stuff I don't enjoy. :/

I said that I would be respectful in response to respectfulness, and not bringing your issues with me up with me and doing it anonymously in some comm is not quite what I'd consider respectful. - Please see my reply above (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomsecrets/168833.html?thread=62062721#t62062721) in regards to how you interpret my (I cannot speak for the other anon) comments here in terms of 'respectfulness'.

As for caring 'this much', it is not that much effort to leave a comment or two on LJ. Does it really show that we care a great amount, or even a little one? I have spent more time defending myself than I have saying much regarding you.

Again, I cannot speak for the other anon, but I remembered you not for your name but the character you express - a large part of which was your attitude towards this 'definitive' Axel (something which left me with a bad taste in my mouth - always a hard thing to wash away), as well as a myriad of other things (the tattoo is especially memorable).

It's not that people care enough to leave a comment. It's that people care enough to remember who I am. Didn't know that.

The point I've been trying to make is that I don't really think there's a definitive Axel. Axel's not the same between stories that I write, and the stories that I recommend to people and the stories that you'll find that I read if you look at, say, my FFN favorites all have totally different Axels, and yet I still like them, and there are stories with different Axels that I've said that I wish that I'd written. I've made statements about his character and defended them and asked people to do the same and people have and I've enjoyed that and I don't think anyone's right or wrong - there is no right or wrong interpreting fiction, just positions that are more or less defensible. This is like reading an analysis of Hamlet and getting upset that someone thinks they know everything about Horatio. That's not really how it is, and that's the level I'm functioning on. Just wanted to point that out, as well as the fact that my actions should speak louder than my words since obviously one of them is more open to misinterpretation.

ETA: The last serious character analysis I wrote knocked every position on Iago except mine, which is that he was motivated by repressed sexual feelings for Othello. Which might give the impression that I think that I'm the definitive authority on Iago, but that would be silly as well. :3

Edited 2008-06-16 05:25 (UTC)

My least favorite part about being an English major, though, is that there are people have the eminent opinion. There are scholars out there who are held up to know everything about Horatio and, as some poor sap who disagrees, I look bad in class and I'd look worse trying to publish. Which is bullshit because you're exactly right. Nobody but Shakespeare actually knows the wrong or right of Horatio.

I think, seeing as you are Kind of a Big Deal (and whether or not you recognize that you are, trust me that I'm not just trying to flatter you when I say you are), people take that to mean that they can't have their own opinions. On the internet words always speak louder than actions. I think the fact that you didn't know you were that important (and therefore your opinion carried as much weight as it does) factors into how you phrase things.

I mean, people are far more likely to take Stephen Greenblatt's criticism as The One Truth than mine. And even if Greenblatt was amenable to debate, would the rest of us know through all his reviewers and professors and teachers who take is word as the Law of Shakespearean criticism?

That said, I don't know if I think your Axel is the real Axel. And I'd say you have a very consistent characterization of Axel. But it's a concept that comes from a love for the character and a devotion of time and energy and deep thought. And I respect that A LOT. Eh, whatever, I don't wanna sound like I'm sucking up when I'm just offering my $0.02.

... I really, really wanna see that character analysis.

Yeah, I'm just one of the 345 people who have you friended and from our few e-interactions you probably think I'm just a huge stalkery bitch (and I'm only confirming this belief, I'm sure) but... yeah, sorry you're getting wanked at/about.

I think a lot of this is stemming from the fact that apparently I'm being put on more of a pedestal than I ever thought I was. I honestly didn't realize that anyone would ever say my name outside my journal and have other people realize who I was at all. I thought that I got out of being "known" when I got out of writing movie parodies. Which was a mistake on my part, and now that I know I guess I should start saying things in a bit of a different manner. This whole thing has seriously made me look at things through a whole new lens, and I can understand more now why people see me the way I do, although I hope not everyone does.

But I'm not Kind of a Big Deal. I don't have any leather-bound books and my house doesn't even contain any rich mahogany.

And I'll post that analysis for you soon, if you wanna read it. It's not my best essay evar but it's got some good points for being from a non-English major. xD

Welcome to the magic that is the KH fandom. And then when you consider that I used to just check your journal for periodic Star Wars and history related lulz and because my girlfriend had you friended, but I friended you after you started regularly contributing to the KH fandom... There are probably an absolutely exponential amount of people who read your lj without having it friended.

... And that was unnecessarily creepy of me to point out. :( Sorry.

And the internet allows you to be a Big Deal without spending the money on dead cows and trees! Isn't it awesome?

:D!!! I am very excited by this! You are a good writer and the fact that you aren't an English major means it'll probably be even better (we English majors tend to write to impress our professors and other English majors leading to a lot of unreadable bullshit being passed off as high intellectual stuff :\) But YES. The world needs more essays about characters being motivated by sublimated homosexual desire.

[Logged in for courtesy sake, though I don't really know what it's going to do for anyone... Whatever gets collective rocks off, I guess.]

You seem pretty definitive on the whole, "that's Axel done right" being just the starting point that's led to this amusing little corner of drama.

I won't involve myself too deeply in this--a friend provided the link and I've been reading on a whim since I was bored, but my overall interpretation of this exchange? You sound whiny because people on the internet are doing what people on the internet DO and they're getting a good laugh out of it. People bitch, and if you really don't care then just ignore it. Real writers shouldn't need to justify themselves to the collectively anonymous masses.

I'm not hurt or upset. And I don't mind that people don't like my writing, although I think it'd be kinda nice if they left reviews with feedback so that I could, you know, take their thoughts into consideration. But it's not like I really expect that, or that anyone has to. It'd just be nice.

Whether or not I feel like justifying myself has nothing to do with my writing, really; these are two entirely separate issues. I don't feel a need to; I just thought I would. I don't really like being misinterpreted, so I'll point out what I meant, and if people don't listen I'm not going to cry about it.

Sad truth is that, even if that's the case? Point doesn't really come across on the internet, no matter how hard you try.

Well, it's a good thing I'm not trying that hard.

And hard as it may be to believe, I've gotten the wrong idea about people on the internet, been corrected by those people, found that I really liked them, and been better off for it. Some people listen, some people don't. No reason not to step in and say, hey, by the way, I think you've got me wrong. I mean, if you've got that kind of time on your hands at one in the morning, which I unfortunately usually do.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #527 ]

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Other Mouse

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Interrupting Cow

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Drama llama is LAWL

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