fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #538 ]

⌈ Secret Post #538 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 67 secrets from Secret Submission Post #077.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In this case, though, where the sentiment expressed on that particular item is so obviously a geeky joke, I can't help but think getting "disgusted" is kind of overreacting. Much less tasteful slogans have been printed; do we really need to spend so much time scrutinizing other people's shirts/bags/bumpers in order to categorize them as members of some class of social rejects or other? Really, why does it matter that they watch porn and are proud of it? Is it just the subculture going dom issue that bugs people?

I'm not disgusted by it. I think it's stupid, but not disgusting.

There's nothing wrong with watching porn. It's an odd thing to be proud of, but there's nothing wrong with watching. The thing that bugs me is that they're flaunting that they do around, when no one actually wants to know.

Sorry, I was quoting the OP on that one. You, I only want to ask: if it's true that there's nothing wrong with watching porn, then why should anyone care enough to "not want to know"? It would be obnoxious if the "flaunting" involved public consumption of said porn and/or some kind of aggressive act along the lines of loudly vocalizing their participation in this activity. But a slogan on a *bag*? Your eyes slide right over it, just move along.

I also think it's judgmental to draw so many conclusions about a person just from the look of their accessory, but that's a whole other thing.

Edited 2008-06-27 02:09 (UTC)

if it's true that there's nothing wrong with watching porn, then why should anyone care enough to "not want to know"? Er, I don't see your problem with the sentence. I'm fine with people watching. However, I don't want people to come up and tell me about it, especially people I don't know.

If I was having a discussion about porn, or asked the person if they watched porn, it'd be fine; maybe I'm weird, but I don't want to know about the porn habits of random people.

Okay, flaunting was the wrong word. I just find it weird that people want the whole world to know about it. It's fine if people are open, but that just seems like unnecessary information to me.

The only conclusion I drew was that it was weird; I don't think they're bad people, or crazy or mean or whatever, I just think it's weird. If someone came up to you, essentially, and said 'I like porn', wouldn't you find it odd?

I'm just surprised that the mere mention of an activity which supposedly is all hunky-dory to participate in should invoke so much ire, is all. Again, we're not talking about people watching porn in public here, just talking about it. Is it really that weird?

If someone came up to you, essentially, and said 'I like porn', wouldn't you find it odd?

This is exactly what I'm saying, though. To me, wearing a t-shirt/carrying a bag is not even remotely the same thing as a direct declaration, and I see no reason why I should take it personally. The word "porn" (and all variations thereof) has become so prosaic in my understanding that its appearance holds no shock factor at all. If it's not illegal, if it's not intrusive and in-your-face, why let it ruin your day? TMI is a risk you take if you want freedom of expression.

Okay, you're not reading me right; none of this is 'invoke(ing) so much ire'. I am not offended, ticked off, angry, shocked, taking it personally, or anything else about someone having that bag: I think it's weird, and unnecessary, but that's it.

That's why I said essentially; it's not the same thing, but it's still proclaiming that you like porn, or watch it, or whatever, which I just find unncessary.

It's not about reading anyone :) I understand you're not angry, it was just a figure of speech. I do notice that you seem bothered by it, and yes, that implies taking an offhand mention a little personally. The bag is unnecessary? Jokes about porn are unnecessary? Possibly. But if someone finds it amusing, they will sport it around, and they're within their right to. Maybe they even mean to be "edgy" and make people uncomfortable, I don't know, but it doesn't mean you have to buy into their intention. Have a little laugh at their expense, tell your friends, but accept that it happens and is not a big deal.

Edited 2008-06-27 05:34 (UTC)

I'm going to jump in on this one -- it's because there's a difference between the public sector and the private sector. My private life doesn't up and vanish when I go out in public, it's true -- but I also don't flaunt things that I know might make other people uncomfortable. Sex, in our society, whether you're a prude or not, is a very private and intimate activity. Watching porn is fine, but it's something you do in private, not something you carry around to stores and restaurants with you. There are some things you leave at the door when you go out into the world for the sake of propriety as a member of society.

It's not just fandom. I feel the same way about people with shirts that have sexual or vulgar slogans. I even think wearing shirts with a marijuana leaf is a bad idea -- not because OMG DRUGS!!!!!, but because it's a factor of your private life, and there's a difference between what is appropriate in private and what's appropriate in the public realm. I don't behave in stores how I behave around my closest friends and family, and I don't talk about my hobbies at work, no matter how innocuous they are. It's basically the same principle.

This becomes a matter of preference, then. Me, personally, I would only apply my personal standards to myself. I don't wear what I consider to be in bad taste, but then I don't expect other people to censor themselves on account of my delicate feelings. Sure, there is a line you shouldn't cross -- but where does one draw that line? Porn is neither illegal nor even very unusual; I would raise an eyebrow if the bag had actual porn printed on it, but just a vague, non-explicit mention? Since when did a non-expletive word gain so much power to freak and offend?

Are we really to say that the very implication that, gasp, people not only know of pornography but might actually enjoy it, should bother us? Are we afraid of porn? And let's remember, no one is in fact bringing porn into the public eye. A bag with a slogan is not exactly the same thing as a nudie mag. Porn consumption is still very much a private activity. All that a slogan stands for is just this: a bit of risque humor, and maybe, if you really want to stretch it, a reminder that, you know, this stuff exists. And people take the mickey out of it. To me, with shit that doesn't matter, I would just let it slide.

Edited 2008-06-27 03:47 (UTC)

"I would only apply my personal standards to myself... I don't expect people to censor themselves on account of my delicate feelings."

THIS

"Are we afraid of porn?"

Yes, this society is afraid of porn, full stop. The whole ZOMG SOMEONE MIGHT NOT BE ASHAMED OF SEX thing, ya know. Anyone who enjoys it, or porn, is a fat hairy pervert who lives in his mother's basement with a shrine to George Clooney, didn't you know?

tl;dr I agree 1,000% with this comment. The whole, "I think it's disgusting so it shouldn't be allowed" thing has to fucking stop. :|

Not to mention the fact that just because a word/image/concept appears on someone's person doesn't necessarily mean they're obsessed with it. Sometimes, a funny bag is just a funny bag. Reading too much into something and then judging a complete stranger for it, I don't get that.

Anon loves you. ♥

[ SECRET POST #538 ]

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