fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4015 ]

[ SECRET POST #4015 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4015 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Did you ever have a friend group? Are you in one now?

Yeah, in high school. I had four main best friends and a couple of other friends that would hang out with us during lunch. We all kinda drifted apart after graduating.

I've been in a few, albeit mostly online, and in middle school. Some experiences actually scared me off of the idea altogether.

I am in a friend group now, though. Also in my 30's! I think it's harder to find introvert-friendly friends in your twenties, because twenty-somethings are still very much in that "ooh let's party all the time ever" phase; I always felt like when I DID befriend people who weren't like that, they ended up being the other extreme where they basically never wanted to do anything. I'm somewhere in between, as are my friends. It might not have anything to do with not being in my twenties anymore, it may just be that I needed to find "my people", but I do wonder about that.

For a few years in college. Turns out they weren't as into me as I was into them... then again, maybe that's not fair to say. People drift apart and go in different directions in life. But it just seemed like they were going different directions around me, which was kind of a shitty feeling. I mean, if you don't want to hang around, don't hang around. But giving the impression that you're there... eh... like I said, maybe it's not fair to think that, but that's how I felt.

Had other kinda-sorta groups but they were never quite the same. Maybe it's my fault for not being as open, but I wasn't sure who was going to be around if I ever started being open.

For a few years in college. Turns out they weren't as into me as I was into them... then again, maybe that's not fair to say. People drift apart and go in different directions in life. But it just seemed like they were going different directions around me, which was kind of a shitty feeling. I mean, if you don't want to hang around, don't hang around. But giving the impression that you're there... eh... like I said, maybe it's not fair to think that, but that's how I felt.

No, I know what you mean. I actually feel the same way in retrospect about some people. I would imagine some people were being assholes and leading you on, others might just not have felt you were as close as you did. That's more or less my interpretation of how it all went down on my end of things, anyway.

Well, I don't think anyone was drifting to be MEAN, it's just sometimes you just don't have the same interest in the person as before. Maybe at the time you think you'll be friends forever, but life happens and you just can't make promises.

AYRT - I was responding more to the first part (and maybe I misread) where you said people just weren't as into the friendship? If you just meant because they drifted, that's one thing. I meant more where people were nice but didn't often engage.

Yeah, I guess I've had two?

In high school there was me, gf's brother Thad*, our younger friend Terrell*, and the two older dudes I lived with, Diego* and Santiago*. The five of us were tight for probably five years? But Thad went off to college bc he's a rich jock bastard, and I moved away and stopped talking to basically anyone but Diego and occasionally Thad, and then Terrell wound up in prison, and then Diego and Santiago. So shit kind of fell apart.

Then I had a group of online friends. We all jumped around from game to game together for maybe eight years. We even had irl meet-ups and stuff a few times. I'm still friends with some of them but my internet connection is too unreliable to play multiplayer/online stuff so that kind of pushed me out of the group.

ETA:

*Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Edited 2017-12-31 22:22 (UTC)

I did in high school. A group of 3-4 people. Right now, not really.

I had a friend group in high school, despite the fact that I made myself difficult to get along with back then.

I have no friends except a few online friends now. (Despite the fact that I think I've mellowed out some... oh well.)

Yeah, I also had one in high school and I kinda have one now though not all my closest friends are in that one. It's nice

I had one in junior high and high school, another one in college, and sort of had a third one going in grad school. I haven't managed to get one going in my post-grad school adult life, though.

It can be tough when you don't live where you grew up or went to school, so you can't just continue with your existing friend groups. Meanwhile, a lot of people around you did stay and still have their friend group and may not be that enthusiastic about making new close friends (not because they don't want friends but because they aren't as desperate). Being single can also be an issue since some coupled people can get weird about making new single friends because they want to do stuff as a couple with other couples, and that cuts down on the options in what is already a tight friend market. (I find that's mostly only true among younger folks and newer couples, though. People who've been together longer or were older when they got together seem less likely to behave like that.)

I had a friends group in high school. Our numbers ranged from probably five at our smallest to ten at our largest. We weren't considered "cool" by any means, mainly because most of us were female, good students, and we hadn't started dating yet.

Later in high school the group gained more guys, but lost some of the girls - mainly girls whose home lives got messy and they went to join the emo/goth/punk kids (no judgment, I totally understand why they needed that). Twelve years on, I'm still friends with a couple of the girls from the group.

I wish I had a friends group now, but it's hard to find/make one as an introverted adult. And anyway, I have some definite insecurities that lead me to hold people at arm's length. I don't really mean to but it's very automatic. I do have some RL friends, though. Probably two I consider close, and then six or eight more I only see occasionally but have known for a long time.

Yup. One in highschool - me, SO, best friend and other best friend.

And then in very early twenties, super-tight group of self, SO, two girl friends and two boy friends. We did pagan stuff, and art, and trips, and hanging out eating awesome food, and camping, and talking, talking, talking, talking.

Probably some of the very best years of my life.

Now my friend groups are online, but still - very close and good.

Yeah. I was a very weird, shy, socially awkward child and teen so never really made good friends through those years. I made all of my close friends in my mid twenties and now I'm in my thirties still have them.

Yes. During highschool with my very first group of friends. They remain my best friends to date even if we don't talk much anymore.

I also had a group of friends back when livejournal was a thing, which I never thought it would happen. It was really nice. Hope they are doing well, wherever they are.

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[ SECRET POST #4015 ]

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