[ SECRET POST #4032 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4032 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[resized, not a repeat]


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03.
[Elsa Pataky]


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04.
[Hawaii Five-0 (2010 remake)]


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05.
[Ilia Kulik]


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06.
[Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad and The X-Files]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #577.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Question for fellow introverts

[(Anonymous)]

The biggest breakdown, is your goal to educate your sister or to manage the situation?

If you truly don't think she gets it, there's lots of metaphors, comics, websites. You can sit down with her and explain that having fun together is tiring, like playing a sport. Taking a break after a few hours of soccer doesn't mean you hate soccer, it means you've gotten tired and you need to rest so you can play more later.

If you just want to manage the situation, be brief "I had a headache and I needed some quiet time." and then let her say whatever she wants and just stick to the simple facts "I would have loved to have gone, but I had a headache and I needed some quiet time." It's a good time to bring out the "I'm sorry you feel that way." non-apology. "I'm sorry you felt like I was ignoring you, but I had a headache and I needed some quiet time." If she recruits others to let you know how upset she is, do the same thing "I had a headache and I needed some quiet time, I don't know why this is such a big deal."

Another useful technique, gently go on the offensive. If she brings it up, immediately turn it back on her. Why is this so important to her? Why was she bothered by it? Why does she feel this way? Why does she think that? Why why why? Turn everything right back to her and don't let her get you on the defensive. "You hurt my feelings!" "Why are your feeling hurt?"

But probably the most important thing, her feelings are not yours to manage. If she wants to believe skipping a movie is proof positive that you hate her.... there's no force on heaven or earth that can change her mind but her. You make a reasonable good faith effort to tell her the truth, but if she wants to be offended over nothing then you can't blame yourself.