[ SECRET POST #4049 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4049 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 44 secrets from Secret Submission Post #580.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. https://i.imgur.com/zVIFJOK.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

It's just hard to imagine him being an action-movie spy. It would have to be even more light-hearted and cartoonish than the Roger Moore movies, and those were already pushing it.

[(Anonymous)]

Who is this and why would he be Bond?

[(Anonymous)]

Reverse Google image search says it's Harry Styles.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Harry Styles. He's a former boy-band idol. He's considered to be so sexy by some fucking crazy people that his bandmate, Louis, had a fake wife, a fake pregnancy, and a fake baby to hide how much they're banging behind the scenes. (The Year Babygate is Revealed is becoming the new Year of Linux on the Desktop.)

The latest rumor is that Styles was sort of good in Dunkirk (although not good enough to get any award nominations). Nolan directed Dunkirk. Nolan is contracted to direct the next Bond. Therefore, Styles will be the next Bond, assuming they can pull him away from Luis's arms after their super secret love affair that everyone seems to know about goes public. (Is it obvious that I don't consider pre-pre-pre-casting rumors to be much more credible than babygate?)

[cbrachyrhynchos]

(Never mind that directors may not have the last word on casting a franchise film like the next James Bond.)

[(Anonymous)]

do you people live under a rock

[(Anonymous)]

Watch Stormbreaker if you like the idea of a junior Bond film.

[(Anonymous)]

That one or the Kingsman movies.

[(Anonymous)]

I would be all over Harry Styles as Bond.

I'm getting wet just thinking about it tbh.

[(Anonymous)]

Rumor has it the people who make this decision dismissed Tom Hiddleston as a contender because of HiddleSwift. Apparently all the cutesy stuff meant they couldn't take him seriously or they worried audiences wouldn't or something? I figure if that's true for TH who's done loads more acting, it's probably true for Styles. I don't know about his personal life, but being in a boyband probably means he's done some cute and cheesy stuff. None of which fits the image of Bond.

[(Anonymous)]

If Hiddleston was cut for dating Swift, then Styles would have to be cut as well. He dated Taylor and a bunch of songs on 1989 were about him.

[(Anonymous)]

Why would dating TSwift stop you from being Bond? That doesn't even make sense.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it was so much that it was TSwift, it was the whole media circus around their relationship. The whole story of whether it was a real relationship or whether it was PR, were those pics with him in that 'I heart TS' shirt staged, etc. It's all faintly ridiculous. I suppose they don't want people associating that with their franchise. At least that's the (persistent) rumor. And if it's true, then yeah, they can probably find something about Styles like that too.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

I don't get why he's such an entertainment news darling. The music is good, but not brilliant, even when given some of the best pop material to cover. A lot of the Dunkirk buzz was surprise that he didn't flub a dramatic acting part entirely. It's kind of like how everyone went nuts on Oprah Winfrey for president.

[bio_obscura]

God, he's horrid. One of the most smarmy, infantile faces I've ever seen.

[(Anonymous)]

Wouldn't an actor be better? As in someone who actually can act?

[tree_and_leaf]

He was fine in Dunkirk. I don't think he's actually any worse than Roger Moore (although that's not necessarily where you want to put the bar...)

[(Anonymous)]

How does his hair stay up like that? Is it the miracles of modern hair gel, or is that the natural way his hair magically curls?

I've also never watched a single Bond movie in my life...