[ SECRET POST #4074 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4074 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #583.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: How to handle noise when you can't?

[(Anonymous)]

What would happen if:

* You told your dad to wear more layers and turn down the fucking heat and turn down the fucking TV because being sick doesn't mean the universe revolves around you

* NOBODY coddled your dad with special snowflake treatment because being sick isn't his fault, but being "a terrible patient" is 100% his choice and bad behavior doesn't deserve to be rewarded or all you'll get is more bad behavior

* You told your mom that it's her choice to sleep on the couch, which means putting up with the cat herself instead of shunting that off onto you for no good reason


Seriously. Are your parents this accommodating to you when you're sick? I bet they aren't. I sincerely hope your job pays you well enough so you can move out. I assume that either your normal meter is broken and you think this bullshit is normal or "not that bad" or that you're repressing your rage in order to survive living with these self-centered asshats. Either way, you have my sympathies.

Cool showers and cold drinks help. A cool towel on the forehead might also help. Learning to say "No" and "Sorry, that won't work for me" might be the greatest help of all.

Re: How to handle noise when you can't?

[(Anonymous)]

The cat is only in the house at all because philstar insisted on adopting it against her parents' wishes. To philstar: when you first talked about taking in Joanna, didn't you promise your mother she would be your sole responsibility? I think this counts. Suck it up. When I took in a cat some years ago, and we were living in a small apartment, she had bouts when she would keep me up all night before I could get her fixed, and she wasn't even locked in my room. It was shitty but I dealt with it because I took her in and promised everyone else I would handle it myself.

Honestly there's a lot to unpack here but considering how long and detailed this saga has been, I can safely say that the root of the problem is the resentment both sides obviously feel due to being unable to live the lifestyle they actually want because of the presence of the others. Your parents clearly want to be back abroad; they were originally supposed to only stay in the States until you got your shit together, and it's been how many years now of this situation? Meanwhile, you want to be A Lawyer, and it really sucks that this job market makes it so hard for someone with your education to get the position they were trained for but have you considered... is it really worth it? Do you view your parents' support as justification for continuing to wait around for a legal position when you could have long ago settled for something else just to be able to live on your own?

I know I sound like a dick, but not only have I been around since the beginning to read almost every one of these posts you make (and there are A LOT of them), I have also been in that situation myself. I knew I was cramping my parents' lifestyle, and they couldn't always help the resentment they felt. Meanwhile, I weighed having my dream job and having an independent life with friends and my own place. I chose the latter, for my own mental health and to save my relationship with my family. And yes, I took the cat when I moved.

Re: How to handle noise when you can't?

[(Anonymous)]

WOW. Truth bombs ahoy!

Re: How to handle noise when you can't?

[(Anonymous)]

lmao

I don't know what is more hilarious, the tabs you're keeping on an internet stranger's life, or the full weight you're going after her with in a reply to a post she didn't even make.

For the record, I'm not saying those aren't valid points if true, but wowie wow wow. So people don't get to complain and have feelings about unexpected shit now? So nice of you to assume your situation is the same as everyone else's, and that the only choices in life include chasing a dream or being partly independent. But hey, good for you, I guess.

Re: How to handle noise when you can't?

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

Philstar posts frequently enough about her issues with her parents (though it's rarely presented as that, I notice) that as an internet stranger, I'm not particularly interested in keeping tabs but I'm familiar with the situation. It's memorable because it's so sad and dysfunctional and ayrt might be a little harsh, but they're not entirely wrong.

People absolutely do get to complain and have feelings about stuff here on the gc. And other people get to respond about those complaints and feelings. Personally, I sympathize and hope philstar can escape that house soon, because it sounds emotionally draining and awful. Her parents might not be straight up physically abusive, but their resentment, lack of support and the general shittiness of tretaing her like a second class citizen would ensure that if I were her, I'd never speak to them again once I gained my own independence.