[ SECRET POST #4115 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4115 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 33 secrets from Secret Submission Post #589.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

TW: Suicidal thoughts in collapsed comment

[philstar22]

Collapsed for triggering stuff

Re: TW: Suicidal thoughts in collapsed comment and mentions of medical stuff

[philstar22]

I spent a good chunk of today wanting to want to die. I’m not sure what that means except I’m too scared of dying to do anything more than imagine what being willing to end it would be like. I keep feeling like I need to be somewhere else. Anywhere but here. In another body. Or no body at all. Being a ghost might be cool. It wouldn’t hurt. The pain would be gone. I broke down crying from the pain several times today. The endless nothingness that is my emotions right now would be over.

I was able to get past it with a really long kitty play session. But it scared me that I could feel that way. I thought I'd be okay once the steroid was done. But the pain has only gotten worse. And I found myself thinking, what if I took extra benadryl, just to knock myself out. Or how bad would it be to take too much tylenol. Maybe liver issues would be worth it. I had to stop the naproxen because I threw up and there was some blood. But stomach pain is actually easier to deal with than the hip pain. So I'm tempted to just go ahead and take it.

I tried to get my painkiller prescribed for my migraines refilled, and my doctor turned me down. I'm supposed to get a referral for a cortisone shot, but nothing so far.

I don't even know. I just feel like I'm losing it. I can't function.

Re: TW: Suicidal thoughts in collapsed comment and mentions of medical stuff

[(Anonymous)]

{{{HUGS}}}

Re: TW: Suicidal thoughts in collapsed comment and mentions of medical stuff

[(Anonymous)]

I’m sorry, that’s awful. I hope things get better for you.

Re: TW: Suicidal thoughts in collapsed comment and mentions of medical stuff

[greghousesgf]

oh god. I am so sorry. I think you're awesome and wish I could be there to help in some way.

Re: TW: Suicidal thoughts in collapsed comment and mentions of medical stuff

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Please call your doctor or talk to someone. Don't do more damage to your body.

Long term advice from another chronic pain patient:

- stop NSAIDs immediately and talk to your doctor if you're having stomach issues
- ODing will only make doctors take away all your meds so long term it really fucks things up more
- get in to see a pain management specialist if you haven't, because regular doctors are dead unhelpful about any pain that won't subside in a week and they're under pressure from the opioid crackdown to stop writing scripts right now
- steroids and injections are a toss up. some people find they work, others find they don't, so be prepared for either outcome and keep asking what the next step is
- be clear about your goals and how you really feel when you talk to medical people. don't say "i'm fine" when you're in pain. be clear on how your pain is altering your functional capacity and ability to do things like work and do things around the house and sleep. they're clear, relatable things that doctors will understand.
- don't expect pain to go away completely. it would be nice, but always focus on reducing to a manageable level.
- plan for your everyday level of pain, but also plan for what you will do if you have breakthrough pain or have specific types of pain. a pain management specialist should be able to sit down and talk through this with you, and you can decide together what things are appropriate for what circumstances. get documentation of your plan so you can take it with you to other doctors and in case you need to go to emergency.
- don't discount other forms of pain relief in conjunction with medication, things like hot or cold packs, physical therapy, hydrotherapy, sports massage, TENS machines, braces. You'll be taken a lot more seriously by doctors if you're proactive about your pain management and open to trying multiple avenues of management.

There's lots more stuff. Plenty of people have written decent online guides too. I hope you find better help than you've had so far.

Re: TW: Suicidal thoughts in collapsed comment and mentions of medical stuff

[thewakokid]

Oh, buddym that sucks. I know the feeling your describing exactly. If it's any help, I promise it's temporary.