[ SECRET POST #4133 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4133 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 45 secrets from Secret Submission Post #592.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

OP, I say this with all love, you have clinical anxiety. It doesn't matter that you've most noticed it manifesting in fandom issues, it's not silly, it's a real struggle that's affecting your ability to enjoy creative and social activities (and probably other things too). And it feels normal to you because it's how the inside of your head has been for a long time if not always, and all your habits are built around dealing with it.

But you have no idea how much weight it will take off your shoulders if you get treatment for it. How much more energy and time you will have to deal with things other than an endless parade of small terrified obsessions. How much most people, in fact, don't do this and would regard it as bizarre and incomprehensible.

It took me a couple years to really bring my anxiety down, and I wasn't the Worst Case Ever, but oh my god, my life is so much better for its absence. Please seek help if you possibility can; if mental health care isn't available for you right now, try to build a support network of people you trust who can help you with a reality check of 'this is your brain having a broken alarm system.' Sometimes just having an outside perspective can help you see and internalize the irrationality of your fears better. Sunlight disinfects.

Good luck, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Don’t diagnose over the internet Armchair Freud.

It’s not paranoia if they’re really all out to get you. And if OP has been around for a long time they’ve definitely seen a fandom or two suddenly decide to eat their own. Add in all the rules and codes of conduct that so much of fandom seems to go by but not actually post and it’s no surprise that some people have anxiety about getting involved. It may be part of a larger issue or it may simply be a response to the behaviour they’ve witnessed.

[(Anonymous)]

HUR DUR UR NOT SPOZED TO SAY IF A PERSON HAS LEGITERAL PROBLEMS

*rolls eyes*

What would you call it if a person was clearly expressing reactions and emotions that are simply way too wonky, and these things were clearly disruptive to their personal life or well-being, or to other people?

BUT WE CAN'T DIAGNOSE OVER THE INTERNUTS

[(Anonymous)]

Wow.

[(Anonymous)]

You...can't diagnose a total stranger over the internet. How do we even know the person telling the OP that they have a serious problem is qualified to give that advice?

PLUS, at this point, I have seen several discussions on the topic of people being irrationally scared to get involved in a fannish community, and the problem appears to not only be quite widespread but growing. I think there are a lot of reasons for that, but it's only a tiny part possibly connected to a real problem in the OP's real life.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah. Like sure maybe every once in a great while there's fandom wank like this, but... nah. Being aware this is a possibility is one thing, letting it keep you from participating at all is not a rational or reasonable response because it's not a rational or reasonable concern.

[(Anonymous)]

Actually, legitimate dangers and mental health problems go hand in hand all the time? Someone with PTSD might have a panic attack at the idea of going in dark allies after being mugged. The disease isn't fake because "people really are out to get you really get mugged sometimes." What makes it a disease is that panic attacks (and hypervigilance and whatever other symptoms) aren't healthy or productive responses to the knowledge of potential danger.

What makes this sound like medical anxiety is not the possibility of bad consequences or lack thereof, it's the way the those worries take over other considerations. Deciding to limit fandom engagement because of witchhunts? totally sensible option. Drafting sixteen versions of a reply, sending none of them because OP is "freaked out" - having an emotional fear reaction in the moment - and regretting it, on a habitual basis...even if it's exaggerated, that isn't healthy behavior. And worrying about "secret rules" isn't rational, at least not in the context of submitting to F!S, which has very straightforward and well-posted rules. And most importantly, OP isn't happy with their own situation, so they should know it can change.

Saying "this is anxiety" isn't a diagnosis, don't be obtuse. It's an observation. And just "anxiety" isn't even a possible diagnosis. I don't know if they have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) or a different/targeted anxiety disorder or a mood or personality disorder that has social anxiety as one of its symptoms. But I do know the behavior they described and are not happy about, whether in the context of a formal diagnosis or not, is a brain glitch that can be changed with help.

Which is why I recommended they talk to someone who can give them a real diagnosis, and a real treatment plan, if at all possible. Or someone who can just help them learn healthier patterns without a diagnosis, if that's what want, because sometimes therapy is good for "I need to troubleshoot my brain even if we don't put an exact label on it".

[(Anonymous)]

This. As someone with actual, diagnosed anxiety, this is it. This response.

[tabaqui]

Man, so much this. Holy gods.

[(Anonymous)]

Excellent response, thank you, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

This, as someone who also has anxiety. Anxiety is not rational. It is taking something that may have a basis in rationality and blowing it up into something that is way out of proportion.

I've been in fandoms for well over 20 years now and I've NEVER had the sort of experience that OP is worried about. Which is not to say that it never happens, just that the chances of being blacklisted from a fandom are pretty darn slim. OP's reaction is way over the top.

[osidiano]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

This is a good response and you should feel good.

[rivulet027]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

At the risk of sounding like a parrot,
this.