fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4196 ]

[ SECRET POST #4196 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4196 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #601.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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The fuck does "being open" have to do with it? The pussy wants what it wants.

Ugh, I can't stand the attitudes of the femdom people in my fandom and on this comm. It's always the same condescension, like you're not "open" if you like maledom, or you're perpetuating stereotypes, or you just "don't know any better" or whatthefuckever. I understand people are frustrated that they're in a minority, but people can't help what turns them on. I'm a female submissive. Femdom doesn't just turn me off; it actually squicks me out because it's so contrary to the way I'm wired. And I've TOLD femdom friends it squicks me out, and they STILL bombard me with it, like if I just try hard enough, I'll finally enjoy it or something? No.

Sorry, I guess this secret hit a nerve. :\

I've found maledom to be the minority an overwhelming amount anyway.

reallly?

da here, but that's always been my experience, as someone totally uninterested in bdsm. people in any fandom i've been in always seem super into femdom & i almost never see anybody talking about, uh, maledom (is that the term? i don't even know).

of course, i have the tag blacklisted on ao3 (to save time) so i've got no actual clue if it's just another one of those "all talk, no action" fandom things (like the people who say they ship an f/f pair when all they write is the m/m juggernaut).

IME, people use the word "femdom" because it's necessary to distinguish its, whereas "maledom" doesn't gets used because people usually just call it D/S without specifying the gender - it's the assumed norm, precisely because it's more popular.

What fandom are you in? I have an insanely difficult time finding femdom stuff in my fandoms. Everything het is maledom. I was first drawn to slash way back when because of the possibility of finding more submissive men. Didn't even know what it was called at that time, just knew I found that way more interesting and hot.

It's tricky because, once you start generalizing, it's hard to stop. So no one wants to talk about it.

Eh. I feel like femsub is really popular, like, culturally? Sugar babies, daddy culture, all that. A woman saying "I want to peg this guy until he cries then slap him around and call him a grub" gets a different reaction than "I want this guy to tie me up, choke me with his belt and call me his little slut".

I don't know why but the grub thing made me crack up.

Not anything against femdom, imagining "I want this guy to tie me up, choke me with his belt and call me his little grub" is also making me crack up

I too, lol'd.

It's so culturally pervasive that a good chunk of men legit believe all women want to be raped and exist as nothing but submissive holes. The OP of this thread can fuck right off, her shitty fetish actively reflects harshly on women as a whole. And yet she has the nerve to act like she's being bullied.

Nope.

DA

They're right though.

They're not right. It's a sexual fetish. Having sexual fetishes isn't bad, and it isn't shitty, and it's not anti-feminist. For Pete's sake.

Nobody said it was anti-feminist? They said femsub is so utterly normalized and accepted that the insidious notion that women are all sexual submissives who want to be raped or dominated is incredibly popular among a loooooot of men and actively harmful for many women who don't like that sort of thing. The popularity of abusive drek like 50SOG among women does not help dissuade this, in fact I often see it brought up as an example that all women like this type of shit. You can't deny this is a thing that happens.

nayrt- they said "their shitty fetish reflects harshly on women"

you can't just deny what they actually wrote only to make your point. nonny you agreed with is not on your side

sa- also can we not shit on women's literature as if it is their fault for making things popular that they like. sure let's expect women to cater their interests to the most useful feminist imagine so society can't use them against them, *that* will solve the issue

christ

Stop defending trash like 50 Shades and bringing up feminism, your bias is showing.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2018-07-01 13:54 (UTC) - Expand

Well they aren't wrong there either, but I mean if you wanna keep zooming in on that and bringing up "muh feminist boogeyman" with no real argument then by all means ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2018-07-01 13:56 (UTC) - Expand

Nobody said it was anti-feminist

They said that someone is making a choice that "reflects poorly on women as a whole" and is shitty. To me, that is equivalent to saying that it's anti-feminist. I'm open to listening if you don't think that's fair.

They said femsub is so utterly normalized and accepted that the insidious notion that women are all sexual submissives who want to be raped or dominated is incredibly popular among a loooooot of men and actively harmful for many women who don't like that sort of thing. The popularity of abusive drek like 50SOG among women does not help dissuade this, in fact I often see it brought up as an example that all women like this type of shit. You can't deny this is a thing that happens.

I'm not denying that it happens. I'm saying that it's not the fault of women who are into femsub, and it's wrong to blame it on those women. Blame it on the people who believe that women are all sexual submissives and who say that 50SOG proves this, not the people who like 50SOG.

this!

Goddamn, it clearly hit a nerve. Come on, OP is being entirely reasonable. She just wishes there was more of a thing she likes.

I read that part as OP deciding to be more open about being into femdom, not her being more open(-minded) than others.

You are in the vast, vast majority - a majority that actively affects women who don't feel the same way you do- stop whining or acting like you're oppressed.

"waaahhh it sucks being into literally the most normalized and assumed sexual dynamic since the dawn of humanity, how dare OP make a perfectly reasonable post that was just trying to extend a hand to those who don't like what I like and wasn't even shaming me or my kinks!! Waaahhh!!"

God, cry more

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