[ SECRET POST #4197 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4197 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #601.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

I've been trying online dating for a few months now, and there is just NO ONE in my area who is my type. I'm looking for a humanities nerd and everyone is either a total STEM guy, something unrelated to anything involving higher education (eg works construction or at dollar store), or in the medical field. I admit this is ludicrously picky on my part, but I'm sick of having nothing in common and I want someone who actually cares about/understands/is interested in MY interests, as opposed to not giving a fuck and expecting me to conform to THEIR interests. I've tried multiple sites and had a grand total of ONE decent prospect come up, and he stopped messaging me after three exchanges, so fuck meeee.

Re: Romance thread

[philstar22]

I'm too scared to try online dating. finding someone attracted to people my size is challenging enough, and then there are all the other issues associated with dating, and online dating in particular. I just wouldn't know where to begin in finding someone who could be attracted to me, who I could be attracted to, who I could have a decent conversation with.

Re: Romance thread

[philstar22]

And then there is the fact that lately I've been much more attracted to women. And dating a woman would be a challenge considering I still live with my homophobic parents.

Re: Romance thread

[greghousesgf]

I had nothing but horrible experiences with online dating. Never again.

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly, I think you'd find online dating the exact opposite of what you'd expect. Download Tinder and give it a try - there's so many people on there that I think you'll find people who like your size or are otherwise ambivalent about the issue either way. And Tinder is easy because it really does protect your feelings. You just go through swiping left or right on people, and you only get notified if someone came across your profile and swiped right for "Like". Then you guys can choose to exchange messages or not. The final step is actually meeting, but there's no obligation to go that far. And if you meet and have a disaster date, no worries, Tinder is a pool of anonymity and bad dates make for hilarious stories to share with friends, haha.

Re: Romance thread

[greghousesgf]

you obviously did not have the terrible experiences I did. they were not funny.

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

Okay? Bad experiences aren't exclusive to online dating or have anything at all to do with it.

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

And Tinder is easy because it really does protect your feelings. You just go through swiping left or right on people, and you only get notified if someone came across your profile and swiped right for "Like".

NAYRT obviously but please explain to me how my feelings are going to be protected and not hurt when no one matches with me

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

because you have no idea if the person you swiped right for "didn't like you" or simply didn't encounter your profile. No one knows who likes who unless it's mutual.

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

^which is, to add, way more than you would get IRL or in most dating sites when you can instantly message whoever you want.

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

But that principle stops working when no one swipes right.

Re: Romance thread

[soldatsasha]

It sounds like you're limiting your prospects just because someone doesn't work in your field? There's a lot of people in construction or working at the dollar store who are humanities nerds and/or share your interests. Most people's passions don't line up with their jobs.

Re: Romance thread

[(Anonymous)]

I know a lot of tradespeople, blue-collar workers, construction people, min wage workers etc. They can be absolutely lovely people but I've yet to find one who really shares my interests or would be interested in the kind of life I want. At least where I live, it's mostly "yeehaw country, hunting'n'fishing REAL MEN DRIVE TRUCKS" types and/or people who think higher education is for them librul nerds who can't do anything useful. Also tend to be WAY more into traditional gender roles than I prefer. Wrt the STEM types, it's not that I wouldn't date someone automatically who had a non-humanities job. It's that it's really, really obvious from these dudes' profiles that they aren't even slightly interested in anything I care about. Plus I've found that a lot of STEM guys are really dismissive of humanities/liberal arts in general. The "I don't want to date someone in the medical field" thing is because I know enough healthcare workers to know that the job is always, always going to come first and is going to consume huge portions of their family life.