[ SECRET POST #4210 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4210 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #603.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Is the item you rec'd actually similar to other things you know she likes, or are you not taking her "picky" tastes into account and just assuming that because you like it, she might too? Are there language barriers? Has she done this with every rec "playfully forced" on her by you or mutuals? Does it have something that might be personally upsetting or triggering, such as infidelity, rape, gore, etc. - something she might react viscerally to but not feel comfortable telling you about? Maybe you could try asking her, or giving her the benefit of the doubt, instead of thinking only of your feelings.

[(Anonymous)]

It kind of sounds like OP's friend might be "playfully forceful" since the words OP uses are "make" and "made" with regard to introducing OP to new media. And if that is the case, Friend can fucking well watch something rec'd by OP once in a while. Or OP can start saying "No thanks, but if I ever decide to watch I will let you know."

[(Anonymous)]

As said above, no one "makes" the OP do anything. They choose to watch/read/play something. If they feel pressured into it, then obviously the arrangement (I hesitate to call it a friendship) is not working for them, so it's their responsibility to speak up or end it. The OP's friend is not obligated to do anything just because OP "gives in".

[(Anonymous)]

SA - and none of your response even touched upon my original comment, which was that OP's friend may have a valid reason for rejecting (even "rudely") a rec and that doesn't make them a bad person. Maybe OP needs to consider their recs a little more carefully...

[(Anonymous)]

Ayrt -- of course no one "makes" OP do anything, but I know people who will nag and insist and finally you either give in or shut that down immediately. Took me a while to decide on option 2 and my life is more peaceful for it. Basically, you are giving g Friend the benefit of the doubt and I am giving it to OP. Which is fine.

[(Anonymous)]

Ayrt-- you're right. I didn't address that point because I didn't want to address it. So I didn't.

[(Anonymous)]

So, you just replied directly to a comment with a completely unrelated comment. OK.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

It's not like I feel pressured per se, but "gives in" is still a good way to put it. I like watching stuff with my friends, even if I personally don't see an immediate appeal of the show they suggest. And I guess I thought she would be the same, and kinda expected her to agree even if she didn't think the show is cool from the get go, so yeah, it's my bad to project onto her like that. Combined with reaction that negative, no wonder I got upset.
This thread helped a lot though. As much as it was a relief to know people think it was a rude reaction, I also realised I had expectations my friend is not obliged to fill.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

That's one of the things - the rec is almost perfect to her tastes. It has a lot of similar elements to the stuff she usually likes. The only thing that could put her off of it is that it's really popular, and she's very picky about popular things, but like everyone? Popular things sometimes annoy us, I'm the same, so I wasn't too concerned about it?
We have no language barrier but we live in a different cities so we talk via messaging. I'm not sure how she accepts the recs usually, I never do that and I have no way of knowing if her other friends rec her things.
No gore, no rape, not personaly upsetting content afaik, it's a pretty fun action with the elements and aesthetics she usually likes. She never gave me any reasons as to why she dislikes it, at the time she was kinda angry-sounding, so I was like "okay okay lol" and changed the topic.
There could be a reason I don't know about, I'm okay with that. I guess I just wish her reaction was more calm and if she could tell me why she hates the show...

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like a cool person, OP, and I am glad you feel better about this. Live and learn, right?