[ SECRET POST #4220 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4220 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #603.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think most people ITT are aware of the question but assume that if he's having a kid then the answer is probably yes

[(Anonymous)]

Why do they assume that though?

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's a reasonable presumption in 2018 when someone in a committed relationship has a kid, unless one has some kind of specific evidence otherwise

[(Anonymous)]

I dunno, accidents happen. People who didn't necessarily want kids end up with kids all the time because they prefer that to the alternative. And if you were a proud parent then it'd probably be more of a happy announcement and less of a secret or rumor.

Don't get me wrong, OP is silly to think a kid is going to tank some actor's career, but like... I hope they wanted the kid.

[(Anonymous)]

Course, accidents happen, and people can regret choices that they made sincerely at the time, and you never know what's going to happen in 5 years.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know what that has to do anything, but sure, yeah. (?)

[(Anonymous)]

maybe he just...doesn't want to flash his private family life all over the news and the internet? like, it's not a binary where either someone loudly blares the news of their impending child to the world OR they don't want it and hate that they/their partner fell pregnant.

[(Anonymous)]

Sure, it could be that too. I'm just pointing out we don't know so it's a little early to start congratulating proud parents.

I get that the reaction to OP's secret here is going to be, well, a reaction, and swing wildly in the opposite direction to OP's sentiment, but stuff like "it's 2018, it's reasonable to assume nobody has unwanted children any more, congrats to the parents on the basis of rumors that they might be having a kid" is also going a bit far in the opposite direction imo

[(Anonymous)]

Well, if they're not having a kid, then obviously there's no problem

[(Anonymous)]

Right, but this whole entire thread is being discussed on the chance that they might...? I don't understand what you mean by this.

[(Anonymous)]

k but it's weird that people here are automatically thinking that no public profession of joy and pride probably = unwanted

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not though?

I said, literally, "Does he WANT kids?" That was a question, emphasizing a possibility exists that he may or may not want children. Not an insistence that they were unwanted.

I hope if the child exists, it is wanted! All children should be. :)

SA

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, I see what you might be construing as that. My comment about it being a rumor instead of confirmed publicly was a comment responding to the anon saying that "if not told otherwise, we can assume people want the kid," trying to point out that a lack of public comment could go either way.

[(Anonymous)]

ehhhh this has whiffs of tinhat on it

the simplest and most likely answer is that he's happy he's having a child in his long-term relationship and that is something that is for him and his partner, not for his fans. there is no reasonable entitlement saying that he should have to make a big announcement to a bunch of strangers.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, not a tinhat. I don't even know who we're discussing. I just find the assumption that everybody who has kids, wants kids, to be a common... misconception is the wrong word for it, but an assumption that doesn't hold true a lot of the time? It's not a bad thing if they don't, either, just something no one is bringing up which could be relevant.

Besides, that comment was just a response to the anon claiming that in 2018, you can assume anyone in a committed relationship that has a kid wants one unless they're actively saying they're upset about it. Which didn't sit right with me

[(Anonymous)]

I mean. Accidents happen. I'm in a long term committed relationship and neither of us wants kids. If I got pregnant then I'd step up and do my best, but I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't be in a blind panic about the whole thing. I don't see that your assumption is particularly logical.

[(Anonymous)]

Condoms work pretty well, nonny. So does the pill. So do IUDs. There’s a 0.001% chance that your partner is going to knock you up if one or both of you are actively trying to prevent it. The rhythm method doesn’t work, and neither does just hoping no one gets pregnant, so if that’s what you’re relying on then you probably should steel yourself up for the inevitable.

[tree_and_leaf]

Anon you replied to is quite right - accidents do happen - and there's no need to be condescending.

The reliability of condoms is 98% when used correctly. Which sounds great, but that means 2 in 100 women getting pregnant while using condoms in a given year. The pill is better, but it's still not 100%, and neither is the IUD. I know women who've got pregnant while on one form of these. What's more, the hormonal methods aren't suitable for all women, or give them such unpleasant side effects that they're effectively not available to them.

Is it likely you'll get pregnant while using contraception correctly? No, but that doesn't mean it can't happen, or that it's in the 'getting struck by lightning' category of massively rare events..

[(Anonymous)]

I’ll bet you a cookie that your friend who got pregnant on the pill wasn’t using it as directed. While it’s possible that she was in the .001% of people who get pregnant while using the pill correctly, it is, in fact, approaching lightening strike territory and she probably should have bought a lotto ticket when the stick turned blue. But, you know. Keep pushing the Bible thumper agenda of how it’s impossible to avoid becoming pregnant if you have the sex. It’s super true and helpful to women for you to do that instead of talking to women about how to use effective birth control correctly.

[tree_and_leaf]

Oh, FFS.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay so what about my co-worker whose husband had a vasectomy and she was on BC and she still got pregnant?

Shit happens. There's a reason why nothing outside of abstinence is quoted at 100% effective. Body chemistry plays a big role in hormonal BS's effectiveness too.

[(Anonymous)]

Speaking as a pro-choice woman, I find talking about the possibility of birth control failing infinitely more useful than being sniffy about ~well if she used it correctly~. But clearly what women who fall pregnant despite their efforts to avoid it need is to be sneered at and criticized by the side that's supposed to be helping them.

The only difference between you and the bible humpers is the coat of paint you slap on your "well it's her own fault she got knocked up" horseshit.

[tree_and_leaf]

Yep. Exactly. It's women-blaming either way.

Also, hormonal birth control, and the pill in particular is... not great in many ways for many women who take it (I mean, if it works brilliantly for you, more power to you, but that doesn't mean other women's experiences aren't real). I use the implant, and I like it, but I know not everyone has had positive experiences with it - and I appreciated the fact that my GP told me about some of the problems that might come up, and to come back in if they did so we could look at other options.

If we can't talk honestly about the ways in which it's not working well for us, how will we ever get better contraceptive options?

[(Anonymous)]

You have no reason to think ayrt isn't using one or multiple methods of birth control. Why the big rush to assert a false sense of superiority? Accidents happen. There's nothing at all controversial about that statement. You can do what you can to prevent and prepare, and yet... accidents STILL happen. It's weird you feel the need to condescend toward someone who's simply acknowledged what most people understand is just a truth of everyday life.