[ SECRET POST #4247 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4247 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #608.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think a lot of women who think they're giving off negative vibes really aren't.

As someone with resting bitch face, let me tell you, men absolutely do notice body (face?) language. It's just that these girls who think they're being negative are actually coming across as shy or coy.

[(Anonymous)]

That's probably true tbh.

But I think the counter-argument would be that people on the other side of the situation should get affirmative consent, not just rely on silence as implied consent.

[philstar22]

This. I mean, I get that asking someone before you kiss them isn't as sexy as just doing it. And I don't think you have to stop and ask at every step.

But just assuming consent when they say nothing is pretty icky and can lead to bad situations.

I'm really in favor of enthusiastic, affirmative consent. Not everything that isn't this is rape, true. But the fact that there is still a lot of assumptions about who sex is for and now assumptions that sex will always happen I think can lead to some situations that aren't good, even if they aren't rape. Like, shouldn't we all want everyone to completely enjoy themselves? Selfish sex isn't rape, but it isn't good (unless that is what your partner is into). Sex where someone just goes along with it because they think they are supposed to isn't good. Affirmative consent and compelete enjoyment by everyone should be the goal.

... is this comment a misfire?

[(Anonymous)]

...?

Re: ... is this comment a misfire?

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT but I'm pretty sure they're commenting on the circumstances of the original accusation against Mr. Ansari.

Re: ... is this comment a misfire?

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, okay. I guess I'm not familiar with the original accusation.

[(Anonymous)]

If only there were a way for people to determine if a potential partner is interested in them instead of just assuming they are interested but are shy or playing coy.

Perhaps something involving the use of sound waves...

[(Anonymous)]

Everybody expects everybody else to read their mind

[(Anonymous)]

No, we expect you to ask first. That is the opposite of expecting mind reading, for fuck's sake.

[(Anonymous)]

not making a gender-specific point

I think there are a lot of people - across all genders - for whom open, frank conversation, about consent or anything else, is either difficult to do or unappealing/unpleasant

and it's a reality that we probably shouldn't just ignore

[(Anonymous)]

Okay but conversations don’t have to be that frank. Just saying like “are you cool with this, cause we can just chill if you’d rather not do anything” is not really a deep hard to have conversation but gets the job done.