[ SECRET POST #4248 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4248 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #608.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

(collapsed for length)

Re: Transcript by OP

[fscom]

So, years ago I was part of a fanfic exchange. Everything was good until one year I dropped the ball and failed to deliver a request. I made promises to the requester and played around with ideas. Nothing spoke to me or motivated me, and pushing myself to write something yielded fuck all. Though we spoke many times after that, the person who had made the request said nothing of it, and I eventually forgot about everything.

Months before the exchange. I had written what I had considered my best story at the time, hoping to submit it in a contest. The exchange recipient held a fandom specific contest. Unfortunately, they had chosen to exclude entries for the saga of the series I had written my fic specifically for (they found some things to be rather distasteful in that particular saga). So instead I submitted it to a different, general fanfic contest.

It was largely ignored by the community in favor of everyone else's fics, but especially the community BNF, who wrote for more popular fandoms. I didn't mind until the contest holders posted another of BNF's fics... with a similar title to mine. I know it's lame, but it felt like a gut punch (and the friend I vented to offered little in the way of sympathy). My story won an honorable mention, for which I should be grateful, but to me, it was a sad consolation prize. I pretended I was happy but inside I was wishing they would take it back in exchange for people actually talking about the story itself. I had poured my heart and soul into that story, and nobody cared. Yes, I realize it's my fault for submitting to the general contest. But I just wanted some recognition.

Looking back, I wonder if this experience caused me to subconsciously retaliate on the individual who basically blocked my story from their contest. Obviously, they didn't ban me from writing for a different saga, but then, I wasn't really inspired to write for the others, so...I dunno. I wasn't trying to NOT write for the individual, but there was this unusual block in my mind and I've never been able to figure out why. I'm possibly overthinking this, but sometimes I feel like a dick about it.

tl;dr Submitted fic banned from one contest to general fic contest instead; had bad experience. Host of 1st contest later became my fic exchange assignment. I failed to deliver. :(