fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4270 ]

[ SECRET POST #4270 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4270 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #611.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Do you believe people when they post sob stories about needing money? Have you ever given money to someone because you felt sorry for them?

It wasn't quite a sob story, but I did give some money as a thank you to Captain Awkward, because I enjoy her advice column.

I assume that a large percentage of it is scammy, but I don't feel like i have the ability or resources to consistently tell which is which.

No. I don't ever give money unless I know the person well or they're a friend of a friend whose judgment I trust. The last time I gave money, it was to a mutual friend of a bunch of my friends who needed to pay off the last of her credit card debt so that she could quit a job that had been wrecking her mental health for a while. I knew her tangentially through several of my friends and she'd always seemed like a really sweet, hard-working person, and I'd been in a similar situation myself before so I was sympathetic on that front too. Last I heard she had in fact ditched the shitty job and gotten one that was treating her much better, so I don't regret giving her money. I wish I'd had people to help me out when I'd been in that situation.

I do believe some of them. Mostly those about sick pets where people post updates and pics and when it's done say thank you and don't ask again.

Some of them, I don't know what to think about. Mostly those that give a long list of mental disorders (and sexualities) that make them unable to work at all ever (idk why it's somehow more believable to me when they have a job but it's not making enough money to live), plus their parents kicked them out and they have to ask again and again and again... I KNOW that any of those when they're true are the most tragic, but I can't help myself... I always wonder.

I've never donated to any of these people and I sometimes feel bad about it... but I'm just so suspicious. D:

"idk why it's somehow more believable to me when they have a job but it's not making enough money to live"

Probably because that's not that uncommon a situation to be in, especially if they're working retail or any other job that pays by the hour. A lot of jobs like that can be pretty shitty about scheduling people for consistent/decent hours - I actually quit my last job because they'd whittled my schedule down to about 15 hours a week and I can't live on that. Plus, having a job means that they're at least making an effort, so I give them points for that.

SA:

Yeah, that's probably it. I mean, I honestly do believe that there are people who simply CAN'T work at all... it's just, the posts who claim that never sound really sincere?
And having a shitty job that doesn't pay enough, but where you maybe work yourself to the bone, or having one that isn't good for your mental health for various reasons (mobbing etc.) just seems more real. (Maybe cause I have a retail job myself that wouldn't be enough if I didn't still live with my parents aka I pay rant to my father)

I’ve given people money through kofi and bought someone a present off their amazon wishlist before; mostly because I liked their work—sometimes I also felt sorry for them.

I don’t donate to random people because I end up spending too much time trying to figure out who deserves $2.00 this week. I end up feeling guilty that I can’t help everyone. At least when I give a homeless person my spare change or buy them lunch I don’t usually spend the rest of the day going “but that person over there needed the money more”—not sure why the difference, though.

I never believe them and I won't give them money.

Some.

Yes, I've given quite a lot sometimes. Never more than one to a person though. And never to anyone who seems to be in perpetual begging mode.

Do I worry that some of them were scams? No, actually. There's no point in it, and the money is already gone. If one out of every 10 donations I've made went to a person in real need and made a difference, that's fine with me.

When they show up on my dash, I believe them. I assume that in order to get those posts spread, you need friends who trust you, and I somehow don't think crowfunded pet operations or running away from your homophobic family are profitable enough for people to spend months on building a fandom network for it.

My money, however, goes to monthly donations to Médecins Sans Frontières and Amnesty International.

" I assume that in order to get those posts spread, you need friends who trust you..."

I think you're giving way too much credit. It's too easy to reblog things without reading the carefully and it costs people nothing. There are virtually no repercussions if I reblog a scam post so long as I don't give any of my own money and other suckers do.

There was a recent donation post about a trans girl who got outted that was taken basically word for word from a legitimate one a year or two back. The fake one got thousands of retweets. People don't fact check.

Exactly. People do pull (and are successful up to a point) crazier, more elaborate scams, faking cancer and stuff like that. A tumblr sob story doesn't even require that much effort if you can hit the right notes. I didn't want to be harsh to the anon I originally responded to, but the idea that reblogs are all done by "friends who trust you" is... um... a little naive. It's mostly social media friendships, meaning people who sorta kinda know you, but not really. A reblog is not an endorsement of fact-checking or trust. It's just not.

I believe them for the most part. Fandom seems to attract ill, desperate, and marginalized people. But I never give anyone money. We all have problems, and I don't really think it's fair or polite to ask.

I don't usually believe people and their sob stories. I've seen too much on Tumblr where people have made up stuff just to get money. And I sure as hell don't give them money.

Not really. I mean sure, there are probably cases of genuine need but like another anon said, I don't have any way of verifying the truth on my own so I'm disinclined to just hand out money even for a sad story. Most of the time the begging seems to come from people who don't deserve a handout. Oh, you adopted a cat and now you can't pay for its food? Not emergency medical care mind you, but the basics. I'm sorry for your cat, but you can't afford to own a cat and shouldn't have adopted it. Oh, you really, really want to go to a con? Get a job and save up for it.

The worst one I've seen is from someone who actually had a contract with a publisher and couldn't deliver the books she was contracted to deliver. So now she wanted people to pay her bills and mortgage (in a nice house in an expensive part of town which she TOTALLY NEEDED FOR REASONS) while she wrote the books she'd already been paid to write. And people actually gave this ridiculous woman money.

I definitely believe some of them, but I've never given money.

I've had some online fandom friends whom I've met offline, or I've met people offline who've met them offline (e.g. I have some older fandom friends who have circles of fandom friends that were established pre-internet) and there have been times one of them will post about/signal boost for a friend they know offline who is going through a rough time.

Otherwise, there are still some i will believe, but it depends.

I'm sure some are genuine but I don't know which ones and I never give anything to anyone online.

i have a fandom friend who has had a small internet business and when her pet got sick sand vet bills piled up, she asked her followers on SM to help her out by _buying her stuff_ from her online store. She even did some discounts / threw in some freebies so ppl bought more.

That is a point where i happily buy / donate extra / spread the word, becuase not only do you help, but you also get something in return for your money.

Sometimes. I don't give money because I'm a luddite and don't want to figure out how to donate via Paypal or whatever and couldn't afford to give much, anyway. However, I have bought things from people who had established online shops when they say they are in an unusual money crunch or suffering a hardship, but only if I kind of wanted the thing in the first place.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4270 ]

Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

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Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling

Re: Inspired by the not-fandom failbarred secret - internet panhandling