fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4270 ]

[ SECRET POST #4270 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4270 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #611.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Then maybe just leave it at "Oh, I never saw/read that." It's honest, and there's no judgement.

"After my time" (or "before my time") can come across as being judgemental or snobby. Might not be your intention, but the other person doesn't know that.

Not OP, but how..?

When you're younger, you're likely to see stuff just... about.

When you're older, it's easier to miss stuff aimed at younger people unless you've been given a direct recommendation by a fan (and that's good -- I've got into plenty of stuff I otherwise wouldn't have really known about because it didn't float past me). A lot of stuff aimed at kids has a serious cult following, so it wouldn't be weird for that to happen.

It's not judgemental to just ... not be from the era when something was popular. Let's face it, most media interest is spread by word of mouth. If your whole class is reading Warrior Cats, you're probably going to give it a shot. If your friend group in college are all burning through Gravity Falls, you'll probably get in on that shit.

If you're in your thirties, you're probably not going to go to the kids section in a bookstore to pick up new reading and you might not even hear about some TV shows.

It's not snobby or judgemental to be past the period where you're likely to have been absorbing media passively, instead of needing active recommendations, especially if it's not explicitly aimed at you.

NAYRT

To me "after my time" seems to be judgmental. To me it seems to be saying "I grew up and thus don't watch kids' things. Why are you watching kids' things?"

My 43 year old self and 70 year old mother frequently go to watch kids' movies in the theater. Because they are enjoyable and light fun when we want a distraction and some happy time. (I know the OP mentioned Pixar being "acceptable" for adults to watch, but we don't just see Pixar movies.) I recently rewatched Moana on Netflix, because I love it. A couple of years ago, a friend got me to watch ATLA and I liked it. Sure, kids' things aren't as deep and complex generally as things aimed for adults, but assuming adults are reasonable about their expectations, I don't think it should be remarkable that adults watch some things aimed for kids, especially given all of the different ways we have for people to see things these days.

Thus, I don't think there really is an "after my time", as everything is available at any time. It's just whether or not someone might think they are interested in it. Which means I find that statement to be judgey. (Especially given the rest of the attitude I'm kinda gleaning from this secret. Maybe it isn't said in real life the way it is sounding in my head right now, though.)

Thus, I don't think there really is an "after my time", as everything is available at any time. It's just whether or not someone might think they are interested in it.

This is exactly how I feel. I'm only in my 30s but I love a lot of music from the 50s/60s because I caught some of it on the radio and liked it enough to start delving into it on my own. It's not as if media has an expiration date - that's the beauty of it. "After my time" means nothing in today's world where it's so easy to access anything you might want to check out.

Yeah, but a lot of how we discover media is through hype. If you weren't in the target market when the hype was big, then you're a lot less likely to have seen it.

You can always watch older stuff, but there is so much older stuff that what you watch is going to be a lot more individual. I mean, you mentioned music from the 50s/60s. I might mention music from the 30s/40s. Or I might mention blues, while you might mention rock.

And frankly, there are some shows that I can only watch now because of nostalgia. I don't think I'd ever get into them now if I was watching them fresh. I'm probably not going to start watching children's shows unless I've heard from adults who got into them as adults that they're good.

To me "after my time" seems to be judgmental.

TBH to me this seems to be exactly the kind of oversensitivity the secret is talking about. I mean, you're kind of just ... inventing all sorts of meaning that just isn't there.

You even felt like you had to write an entire paragraph defending adults who watch children's media. No one criticized adults who watch children's media. The secret writer said explicitly that there's nothing wrong with it and they don't judge people who do.

It's just whether or not someone might think they are interested in it. Which means I find that statement to be judgey.

And so what if someone's not interested in what you like? You don't have to take it personally.

^Thiiiiiiiiiis. Seriously, WTF is up with people who are offended because someone else didn't watch the media they like?

To me "after my time" seems to be judgmental. To me it seems to be saying "I grew up and thus don't watch kids' things. Why are you watching kids' things?"

Well frankly, that's on you and your weirdly defensive interpretation, because that isn't what the phrase means. I wasn't hugely into Teletubbies because I wasn't a little kid when they were popular on TV. There's nothing wrong with NOT watching something, and it's not any sort of commentary on people who do.

It's not judgemental to just ... not be from the era when something was popular.

fucking this

I'm in my 40s so the current crop of 25-25 year olds feeling judged that I'm not familiar with Rugrats because didn't watch it in my childhood - because I was not a child then - needs to take a step back. I'm not judging you I'm just stating the fact that I was in college in 1993 so your childhood is not my childhood.

I don't think it's judgmental. Silent movies were before my time. The heyday of progressive rock was before my time. That's just fact, not a judgment.

"Before my time" and "After my time" are substantively different now that we live in an age of hyperconnected and hypermarketed streaming media.

Like....the whole point is that you ARE alive when the kid's things are popular, because tehy're popular NOW, or quite recently

and OP isn't a child for them, but....again, new media landscape. the cartoon ghetto isn't a thing anymore, it's VERY easy for people to be exposed to stuff not necessarily primarily targeted at their demographic (and more common for media to be made with cross-demographic appeal in mind, for that matter)

IMO it's either judgmental or else just kinda dumb. like. have you not paid any attention to how the media has changed in the last 15 years?

I'm not even sure what you're trying to say. Yeah, lots of media is more readily available now. So? Not everyone is able to access it, and not everyone has the time to sample everything in the media landscape. And that's okay, it's not a personal attack and it's really, really bizarre that there are people in this thread who think it's some sort of insult when people haven't seen stuff they've seen.

Consider, though, that on the internet no one knows your age if you haven't stated it and people tend to assume others are similar to themselves without reason to believe otherwise. If you just say "I never saw that" you may have to deal with the "OMG why not?" response. Explaining that you weren't in the right age range just anticipates the next question.

Also, people don't just want to know if you watched something, they want to share the nostalgia. It's awkward, because I don't want to be like "Oh child, I am so much older than you" but age is probably going to come up at some point. I don't have the energy to pretend Harry Potter was my childhood on the off-chance someone feels I'm judging them (I'm not, I like Harry Potter, but it came along to late for me to have childhood nostalgia for it).

Er, they should, though? Because how it is judgmental or snobby to miss out on certain TV shows/movies because of one's age? Am I a snob because I happened to be in college when Power Rangers were a thing and I didn't watch it? Are you a judgmental snob for not being born yet when Mozart was performing in concert?

If people take "before/after my time" as judgment, that's on them, not OP. Frankly, it's weird to take something so personally when it's just... life?

I could see it as being judgmental if the people OP is talking about became fans of a kids' thing as adults because then yeah, it would sound like OP was putting them down for liking a kids' thing. However, I had assumed OP was talking about people who are younger than OP, became a fan of something as a kid, and are now adults who are disappointed that the person they're having a conversation with isn't able to commiserate with them over their love of that thing and connect over it, and are casting about for reasons OP should be into the thing, anyway.

I get what the OP is saying about forgetting that not everyone had the same childhood, though. For me, it usually goes the other way. Every now and then I'll be reading some article from a professional news site or publication and get tripped up by the author mentioning something like not having been allowed to watch The X-Files during its original run because they were too young or whatever, and I remember "LOL yeah, I'm not fresh out of college anymore. You can be a decade younger than me and have a professional writing career!" You don't have to get very far into adulthood before you start to notice that there are other adults, complete with jobs and kids and things, who are too young to have experienced the same childhood as yours. So, yeah, it goes both ways.

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[ SECRET POST #4270 ]

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