[ SECRET POST #4270 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4270 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #611.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/9gsdDKX.png

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, people get super defensive about this sometimes and it's weird. It's not like I never consume media that's targeted mostly at children, but there was a post-childhood period of my life where I was busy exploring other types of media and I missed out on some media that was someone's childhood fave. It's no big deal. Doesn't this happen to everyone?

[(Anonymous)]

You're totally judging them, OP, and they can tell.

[(Anonymous)]

+100

Well...

[(Anonymous)]

People do get defensive about things they like, but you do sound like you're judging them. I don't know who you think is leaving work early, but I'm going to guess that isn't most (On Demand, streaming, recording, etc. is available to a lot of people). And there are probably a fair amount of people who are trawling all kinds of media to find something they like, regardless of genre (and why is being open-minded about it a bad thing?), but there's probably a fair amount that just happened upon it or saw a rec somewhere or something. Couldn't you just say it doesn't seem like it's your cup of tea or something?

Re: Well...

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I started watching Voltron because it popped up in my Netflix suggestions and it looked interesting enough that I figured I'd watch a couple of eps to check it out. I picked up Steven Universe because my sister watched it and told me I'd probably enjoy it. I don't go specifically looking for children's stuff, but if I stumble across something or have it recommended to me, I'll probably give it a try because why not?

Re: Well...

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I was with OP at first, but he or she goes on to sound a little bit judgmental.

However, I don't think "after my time" itself is that bad, unless OP is saying it in a condescending tone. I do think "it's not my cup of tea" or "I missed the hype" works too, though.

[(Anonymous)]

Then maybe just leave it at "Oh, I never saw/read that." It's honest, and there's no judgement.

"After my time" (or "before my time") can come across as being judgemental or snobby. Might not be your intention, but the other person doesn't know that.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but how..?

When you're younger, you're likely to see stuff just... about.

When you're older, it's easier to miss stuff aimed at younger people unless you've been given a direct recommendation by a fan (and that's good -- I've got into plenty of stuff I otherwise wouldn't have really known about because it didn't float past me). A lot of stuff aimed at kids has a serious cult following, so it wouldn't be weird for that to happen.

It's not judgemental to just ... not be from the era when something was popular. Let's face it, most media interest is spread by word of mouth. If your whole class is reading Warrior Cats, you're probably going to give it a shot. If your friend group in college are all burning through Gravity Falls, you'll probably get in on that shit.

If you're in your thirties, you're probably not going to go to the kids section in a bookstore to pick up new reading and you might not even hear about some TV shows.

It's not snobby or judgemental to be past the period where you're likely to have been absorbing media passively, instead of needing active recommendations, especially if it's not explicitly aimed at you.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's judgmental. Silent movies were before my time. The heyday of progressive rock was before my time. That's just fact, not a judgment.

[(Anonymous)]

Consider, though, that on the internet no one knows your age if you haven't stated it and people tend to assume others are similar to themselves without reason to believe otherwise. If you just say "I never saw that" you may have to deal with the "OMG why not?" response. Explaining that you weren't in the right age range just anticipates the next question.

Also, people don't just want to know if you watched something, they want to share the nostalgia. It's awkward, because I don't want to be like "Oh child, I am so much older than you" but age is probably going to come up at some point. I don't have the energy to pretend Harry Potter was my childhood on the off-chance someone feels I'm judging them (I'm not, I like Harry Potter, but it came along to late for me to have childhood nostalgia for it).

[(Anonymous)]

Er, they should, though? Because how it is judgmental or snobby to miss out on certain TV shows/movies because of one's age? Am I a snob because I happened to be in college when Power Rangers were a thing and I didn't watch it? Are you a judgmental snob for not being born yet when Mozart was performing in concert?

If people take "before/after my time" as judgment, that's on them, not OP. Frankly, it's weird to take something so personally when it's just... life?

[(Anonymous)]

I could see it as being judgmental if the people OP is talking about became fans of a kids' thing as adults because then yeah, it would sound like OP was putting them down for liking a kids' thing. However, I had assumed OP was talking about people who are younger than OP, became a fan of something as a kid, and are now adults who are disappointed that the person they're having a conversation with isn't able to commiserate with them over their love of that thing and connect over it, and are casting about for reasons OP should be into the thing, anyway.

I get what the OP is saying about forgetting that not everyone had the same childhood, though. For me, it usually goes the other way. Every now and then I'll be reading some article from a professional news site or publication and get tripped up by the author mentioning something like not having been allowed to watch The X-Files during its original run because they were too young or whatever, and I remember "LOL yeah, I'm not fresh out of college anymore. You can be a decade younger than me and have a professional writing career!" You don't have to get very far into adulthood before you start to notice that there are other adults, complete with jobs and kids and things, who are too young to have experienced the same childhood as yours. So, yeah, it goes both ways.

[(Anonymous)]

You do sound a bit judgy, OP. Someone upthread has already said it: the internet has kind of happened and that means most people can have adult life schedules and still catch up on shows they enjoy. I'd also say that being in fandom often means you get exposed to media you wouldn't normally seek out, be it via f!s or scrolling through someone's tumblr or just chat with fandom friends. there's no need to 'trawl', really.

THAT being said... I do get where you're coming from. It's young adult fiction for me - 99% of the time, i just don't care for it. that doesn't mean other people who enjoy it/read a lot of it/read exclusively ya are somehow wrong, or that i think my tastes are magically superior, or anything like that, it's just a very basic "different strokes for different folks" type deal. and there's always this subset of people who first aggressively recommend something, get defensive when you say you're not interested, and then won't take a "it's just not my cup of tea" for an answer, until you finally say something that they can take as a personal insult. which is exhausting as fuck.

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like you're judging them by assuming they're being angry and defensive.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, sometimes people do get angry and defensive about this. Not saying OP doesn't sound a bit judgy, but I would definitely not assume that OP only dealt with peaches in that department.

[(Anonymous)]

OK but why would keep saying something that clearly makes people defensive? Maybe change your approach?

[(Anonymous)]

Disclaimer: not OP, actually one of the anons who's said that OP sounds judgemental.

I've been in fandom for a long, long time, and regardless of whether it's adult-orientated, live action, anime, vidya, childrens' media, musicals, or obscure 70s soap operas: every fandom has some people who just get hyper-defensive as soon as someone as much as vaguely implies that they might not like/be interested in checking out that person's pet canon. With some people, there's just no right approach here, especially not if they approached you first.

Again, that doesn't mean OP's right, they seem to have a bit of a funny idea on how consuming media works these days, but I wouldn't really blame them alone for having had run ins with people taking their disinterest far too personally.

[(Anonymous)]

Not the OP but... because there's nothing wrong with what OP said? It's perfectly innocuous. If people take offense at something that's not at all personal, maybe they should chill. I don't see the need for walking around on eggshells for people who are mad because OP didn't watch a certain TV show.

[(Anonymous)]

But if people are asking direct questions about it though, what are you supposed to say? I'd think explaining that you were at the wrong age to catch it would be a pretty neutral reason for not being into something. It's clearly not a knock on the piece of media or people who like it.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel this way about pokemon. No I don't know which starter I'd pick for such and such a character in a completely unrelated canon. Pokemon was, believe it or not, after my time. I didn't grow up with it in the decades it was/is so pervasive. And its super odd how everyone is assumed to know the difference between Gold and Silver or Red and Blue or whatever. I still don't even know what 'you like mudkip?' really means.

I get that it was pervasive through large amounts of some people's childhoods but so was School House Rock and you don't see me expecting everyone I meet in fandom to be able to sing the 'grammar conjunction junction' song.

[(Anonymous)]

Given your wording of this secret

Maybe the problem is you, OP, because something about this giant secret where you rant and rave about how OTHER PEOPLE are clearly leaving work early to find good kids' shows and stuff (instead of happening to be on social media, finding a show they like the look of and then watching it) is just... IDK.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know who you are interacting with but generally if they are aggressively shoving stuff down your throat maybe you should be more assertive and just say THANKS I'VE TRIED IT BUT IT DOES NOT INTEREST ME. Maybe one out of ten people will refuse to back down but most people will not force the issue.

You shouldn't be surprised if people are passionate about something they like. Of course they want to share it because it makes them happy. I'm sure there are things OP likes and wants to share and maybe other people also find OP as annoying as OP finds them. That's just how people are.

Also... it's 2018 and you are seriously saying that people have to leave work early to watch something? In the age of internet and smartphones where people can stream and watch whatever they want whenever they want? This isn't the 1990's where you could miss something if you weren't at the TV at a specific time. I think you're exaggerating to make these people seem more ridiculous.

[(Anonymous)]

lol at all the defensive people who like kids' media in this thread

[(Anonymous)]

Looking at this secret I'm going to go out on a very stable limb and say the reaction has to do with the way the words you use actually ARE completely judgmental.