fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4282 ]

[ SECRET POST #4282 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4282 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Colette]

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03.

[Sara Sidle on CSI]

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04.

[Criminal Minds]

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05.

[Step by Step, Cody/Dana]

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06.

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

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07.

[Mad Men]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #613.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nobody is saying you a just 'calling' yourself a lesbian. If anyone does, then ignore them - they do not understand you and that is not your problem - you choose to live your life the way you wish and love the people you want. You misinterpret my comment. I believe everyone should live their lives the way they wish. I simply do not think that the amount of labels and genders that seem to exist now is a good thing. I think it has a damaging effect.

What damaging effect?

I think that there are straight people out there - even now, even in 2018 - who think that LGBTQ people are attention seekers or people that just want to be different or quirky somehow, like it's the cool thing to be. I personally find this extremely offensive. But I think that having ninety six gazillion genders etc only further promotes the belief by ignorant people that it's a status/fashion symbol and like some kind of slogan badge we wear to be cool.

For the record - I, myself, am pan, and extremely proud of being of being LGBTQ and a woman who loves other women.

The ignorant are ignorant and wrong.

I could not agree more with this statement but sadly there are a lot of them out there. How do you think a man like Trump could become President?

So your idea is to just. Give in.

You do that and see how much fun it is pretending to be something you're not.

I understand what you mean but 1. In offline, adult spaces, especially non academic ones that do have somewhat different norms, there aren’t a lot of people running around shouting about being niche tumblr identities - and I’m sure anyone who is openly non binary at all would tell you it is not easy and fun and 2. What you are saying comes a little close to respectability politics for my taste :/

And they'd think we're attention-seekers regardless! Surprise! That doesn't make LGBT people wrong, that makes homophobes and transphobes wrong!

And always there's the question: Why would anyone want to be pretend to be LGBTQ when it's a marginalised group? Is it cool to be scared for your life?

Would you happen to have any opinions about trans folk?

Like I have said here, I think all people should be entitled to live how they wish and trans people are beautiful wonderful people like everyone else. But why am I so wrong for wishing that we could just jack in all of this label nonsense so that people could be judged for the beautiful people they are and not have ignorant folk form opinions of them before they even walk into the room. A beautiful person is a beautiful person.

Because you're implicitly asking trans people (or whoever else) not to look be their identities in so doing. Because those labels do matter even if not to you.

I'm entitled to think that the world would be a better place without the prejudice associated with labels. But I don't have any problem with people using them. I just keep saying that I think having billions of labels goes beyond its usefulness and starts to have the anti-effect.

I would never dream against holding it against any trans person who wished to use the term trans or one who never felt the need to tell me at all. I love all good and decent people and hold no prejudice. Unfortunately, a lot of people do. It's a cruel world where a beautiful trans man/woman would be rejected where simply a beautiful 'person' would be accepted but it's the world we live in and its full of ignorance.

"I hold no prejudice"

"OMG there's too many labels they're all special snowflakes"

Pick. One.

you're wrong for assuming that your experience is universal, basically

and that all the people who are saying "dismissing all value in labels hurts me" are just, idk drinking the kool-aid of "label nonsense" just because it isn't valuable to YOU

humans are a highly social and linguistic species, and for many people, being able to define their identity in terms that connect them to other people who share their experiences is a hugely important and validating PART of "living how they wish", and also a hugely important part of successfully expressing their wants, needs, and identity to people who don't share it

"trans" was hugely important to my brother when he was explaining to my dad, a Chill Feminist Dude, that he wouldn't be *happy* just being butch/a tomboy, that it was about something more than gender roles. and finding other people who used that label talking about their experiences was probably also important to him in figuring out that was what would make him happy himself!

A beautiful person is NOT just a beautiful person. My brother told me that one of the experiences that really confirmed his identity to himself, was when he got All Dressed Up for junior prom before transition. He looked in the mirror and thought, very clearly: "That person is a beautiful person, but it's not me." All his experience of hating his appearance was not about our culture teaching women to hate their bodies, it was just that it was the wrong body. He wasn't a beautiful person. He's a beautiful man. And he needed trans to bridge that gap.

If you still can't understand, then you should consider that your lack of understanding is less important than not hurting people by insisting that your opinion on something you can't understand is more important than their hurt.

TL:DR - as any cat will tell you, finding a box that fits and getting in it yourself is very different from someone else putting you in box. And if there are a bunch, sometimes humans are going to trip over a box that someone else loves very much.

(Does tumblr get extreme and silly about it sometimes? Sure. But that's kind of what teenagers are supposed to do. I say as long as their aren't suicide baiting people, let them explore and be as silly as they want.)

Thank you. This this this this THIS.

Very well said!

nailed it

Ignorant people will make labels for people they fear or dislike or find digusting or whatever. Having labels for sexuality helps a lot of people. And wishing that all labels would magically vanish/saying we’d be better off without them because some people are assholes is like saying the world would be better off if starvation weren’t a thing and then blaming people who still go hungry instead of people who have plenty of money and plenty to eat for not sharing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4282 ]

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