[ SECRET POST #4288 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4288 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #614.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I HATE how my mother communications. Instead of asking for what she wants, she'll complain in a joking way. Like, instead of "can I have another cup of coffee?" it's "nobody loves me, I don't know why nobody wants to give me more coffee". And it's like that for EVERYTHING. And when she gets it, she'll jokingly complain about how dreadful it is instad of saying thanks. "Wow, is that the weekerst one you could make me?"
I love her dearly, but this drives me BATSHIT.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Call her out on it? If she starts with the, "Oh I guess no one wants to get me [x]." say something like, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't hear you ask me to get you an [x], did you want one?"

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Tried that. She told me if I loved her I'd underSTAND that the please and thank you is IMPLIED.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Dude. She's not "joking". She's an emotionally abusive bitch.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, one of those people. Sigh. If someone gets PA with me, I just ignore them harder, to be honest.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Nope. That's bullshit, she's being emotionally manipulative and childish and ungrateful. Let her get her own coffee until she can be nice. Don't do favors for crappy people unless you're being paid for it.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

communicates, I mean. It makes me so mad I can't 'communications' anymore.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I thought that was maybe just how all the cool kids were talking these days and I was all ready to sound hip.

Re: Venting Thread

[greghousesgf]

holy crap I thought my mom was passive-aggressive

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like she's super passive aggressive. You could train her out of it, but it'll be a lot of work. The first step is to call her out every time. That's every single time you witness it, otherwise she'll just relapse.

"Mom, if you want a cup of coffee and you don't want to get it yourself, why not ask someone nicely?"

"That's a funny way to say 'thank you' to someone who just did you a favor."

"Next time, you can make your own coffee, then."

If she says she's "just joking", shrug and say, "Didn't seem funny to me." and next time, DON'T DO SHIT FOR HER. Because she was just joking, so she doesn't really want coffee, right? Leave the room if you have to, but don't respond positively unless she speaks to you like a mature adult.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

My family are all like this. I was a big people pleaser as a kid so I went out of my way to accomodate them. Thank fuck I outgrew that. I will only respond now if they're behaving like adults. They still try the whiny baby crap all the time. I have perfected the one eyebrow raise.

Re: Venting Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Unfortunately, when she "jokes" about this and you make her a cup of coffee, you're teaching her that her "jokes" are A-okay with you and that this is a fine way to interact with people. She's super passive aggressive and ungrateful. But it works, because you're doing what she wants! She will never change because she doesn't have to - she gets to be an annoying little shit and there are never any negative consequences for her behavior.