[ SECRET POST #4340 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4340 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #621.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

https://twitter.com/geedee215/status/1064878594332258305?s=21

What are y'all's juicy family secrets that have come out during the holidays or otherwise?

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

Not super juicy, but one of my cousins came out on Christmas Eve since that's when almost everyone in the family gets together under one roof. Everyone already knew or suspected he was gay, so we were all cool with it. His mom did say that being gay didn't get him out of giving her a grandkid though.

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

At my aunt's funeral this summer, I learned for a fact that three of my cousins have a half-sister I suspected, but didn't know existed.

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

My stepdad had at least one kid (but maybe more who knows) with another woman while married to my mother.

My uncle is not the father of at least one of his 10 kids (found out he split from that wife over a year before the youngest was born but decided to raise him anyway so that's surprisingly wholesome) but it's possible that he's not the father of most of them. He and all his previous wives were raging alcoholics back in the day and some of the kids look mixed race and neither "parent" is so...

There's a lot of criminal shit I won't get into but my family are always up to something and have been for generations. We average 2-3 people missing from family holiday stuff each year because they're incarcerated. Usually James. It's always James. He's an idiot. Got caught on armed rob a week after getting out for armed rob. What a knob.

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah! Screw James!

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

If you can believe it someone actually married this guy. She invited herself over last year because she wanted to spend time with us and she was crying the whole time and kept saying things about how she thought he would change for her and she wants to have more kids with him.

My cousin and I were just looking at each other like PLEASE NO.

Nobody in my family has ever had trouble finding people to breed with. We've evolved to be so pretty that people do not care how terrible we are. Like hot mugshot guy.

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[syncing_feeling]

I found out my brother is my half-brother after my mother left. It wasn't even meant to be a big revelation, my dad just mentioned it casually because he thought my mother explained it to me when I was younger. I was all "hahaha what are you on about" and he had the biggest "oh fuck" look on his face.

Edit: I missed out the "juiciest" thing because I think I've mentioned it before, but after my mother vanished we uncovered a lot of stuff about her making false identites online, got a few phone calls from confused men she'd been seeing who thought she was someone else, how she'd been systematically alienating friends/family so no one would look for her, etc. Also recently found out she'd raised money for a leukemia charity then kept the lot for herself.

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[rosehiptea]

I had a relative who got arrested in the 1940s because he was walking around town in a dress. Except that wasn't illegal so they had to let him go. Then they made it illegal.

(It's not really that much of a secret. It was in the newspaper.)

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

Hahaha, I love that story! Or maybe it's your delivery that makes it funny. While I'm sure it might have been somewhat scandalous at the time, I love that your relative is now vindicated. :)

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[(Anonymous)]

My uncle's ex-wife announced to the whole family, her husband included, that she was pregnant. His reaction? "But we haven't slept together in months!"

She figured that between his desire to have kids and the public setting, my uncle would be too happy, or too embarrassed (or too dumb, she never thought much of him) to call her out.

And yeah, it wasn't his. It turned out that she'd been having an affair with her boss.

My uncle filed for divorce, she tried to convince him that they could still be a happy family, he put his foot down and denied her for the first time in their relationship, she tried to guilt him into staying by saying the baby had some sort of illness or defect, he rejected her again, and she traveled to a country with looser laws to get an abortion.

My grandma never got back all the money she spent on ex-aunt's college tuition and my mom decided she had too much class to say "I told you so" despite the fact that she had always been suspicious of that woman (and also repeatedly berated by grandma and uncle for it).

Re: Inspired by this Twitter thread:

[bur]

It came out during one of my family's trademark adventurous Thanksgivings that my sister cheated on her husband right before they got married.

This bomb got dropped in front of her teenage kids.

It was GLORIOUS. I saved the sticky notes my niece left around saying "CHEATER CHEATER" surrounded by broken hearts.