[ SECRET POST #4340 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4340 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #621.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

This isn’t so much a secret as a “no one cares,” but today a random guy asked me for directions when I was on my way to work, and as I was explaining that I work in the area but wasn’t super familiar with it, blurted out, “you’re really beautiful, are you single?”

If he was sincere, I feel really bad for him, because I immediately burst out laughing and sputtered “I’m probably 15 years older than you!,” and then hoofed it up the hill to work.

I wasn’t laughing at him. I was laughing at myself. The guy was either younger than me or just in really good shape, and ridiculously handsome as well, and I’ve been called a troll, to my face, way more often than I’ve been called beautiful—actually no one has ever said I was beautiful or pretty. I’m 35. I hope he was being an asshole, because if not I was an inadvertent jerk to someone who didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry terrifyingly handsome young bike rider man who will never see this, I wasn’t making fun of your interest if you meant it!

It’s just, the last time someone said anything about my appearance when I walked to work, some guy made up a little song about how I was a fat mean ugly troll and sang it every time he saw me for about eight weeks over the summer. I almost added a half mile to my morning walk to avoid him, but I didn’t want him to win, so I walked on the other side of the street most mornings, and hid in the bathroom to cry before saying hi to my coworkers.

Also I’ve mentioned this here before, but I’m pretty sure I’d be bi or pan if my brain didn’t immediately shut down any arousal with a flood of traumatic memories of every compliment on my looks I’ve ever gotten that turned out to be either not-so-secret mockery or someone gearing up for some groping, or both. It’s not fair that I can’t feel attracted to real people without also feeling fear (of them, not of the physical act of sex or arousal) and/or shame.

I wish I’d gotten some sincere compliments from people close to my own age rather than mockery from my peers, creepy come-ons by adults, and both touching me without my consent when I was still a teen and it might’ve done some good.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

:(

I'm sorry, anon.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I totally feel you, Anon. Plenty of people think I have an unattractive face and when someone happens to compliment me I can't accept the compliment at all. I just don't believe them.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't feel too bad about running away from the biker. I know I've done a lot worse for a lot less. But I'd believe he was genuine about his interest in you...
You responded, if nothing else, you laughed it off- (which honestly, is my default reaction to just about anything) so no matter the way you said it, the fact that you said anything at all means you weren't being an asshole about it.

And don't you dare put yourself down by simply assuming he was trying to make some joke- you don't need to be the most beautiful person in the world to be of interest to anybody. Take it from someone whos basically been raised with a tin-hat level of paranoia. He didn't just yell some stupid remark while riding by, he stopped and asked /you/ for directions, more than that he paid you a complement. You don't need to feel bad for rejecting him, just as long as you know it was, by my standards, genuine.

The guy who made up that song about you- just kick him in the teeth if you ever see him again... because that is horrible, pathetic, and obviously some sort of compensation method he's failing at either way... (but then again, probably don't assault him, he just deserves it is all;;)
You grew up without support, but that doesn't mean you don't have any now, that you don't deserve even more... If nothing else, you seem like a good person, a great person, to me- for even worrying about being rude to a complete stranger.
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