fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4357 ]

[ SECRET POST #4357 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4357 ⌋

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So, I was planning on going on a trip to DC with my sister and her boyfriend in October of next year. She talked to me yesterday and said she thinks they won't be able to because they want to go to Eureka Springs and get married around that time by themselves. Have a party back home later. I am a bit sad about that but now I am deciding what to do next year.

I could try and do a solo vacation by myself if I can afford it. Or I can just now and save more money.

If I decide to vacation, any recs for where a solo female traveler who has never traveled alone and has only been on vacation should go?

I thought about doing one of those group tours that take place over 10 days. Maybe I could make friends or something? But I am pretty introverted so it could be torture.

Thoughts?

You would be shocked at how liberating/fun a solo vacation can be.

Is your heart set on DC, or are you a bit flexible? And what kind of stuff do you like to do? Outdoorsy stuff, history/museums, shopping/food, etc.?

I prefer going to museums and historical sites. Hikes and such are fine to get places but I am not a huge fan of nature walks and the such. I enjoy food but I don't like drinking. Also, not into clubs or night life.

I will have anywhere between $2,000 to $4,000 saved up.

I would like to go for around 10 days (from a Friday to Sunday). Sometime in October/November or March of 2020 when ticket prices are cheapest.

I am looking at in the US or international (particularly interested in Europe and Asia).

nayrt - London is an amazing destination for a relatively inexperienced traveler. Most of what appeals to tourists is very centrally located and easily accessible by the Tube or bus. You could enjoy your fill of museums and galleries, do historical tours on your own or sign up for walking tours.

I'd say the same about Paris. There's the language barrier, but they're very used to tourists and IME, appreciate it when even a small effort is made. With 10 days, you'd even have enough time to make a day trip to say, Versailles.

Yeah, London is what I was thinking of doing. I heard a lot of museums are free which would help with saving money. Using public transportation is also great.

San Francisco has museums and neat architecture and stuff. I've only ever been there on day trips when visiting family further north, so I have no idea what a decent hotel room costs or where is a good place to stay, but I really like visiting SF and have gone there for the day by myself without hesitation.

Looking at stuff now! Trying to mostly figure out hotel prices. I could try a hostel I think.

SF, Philly, or Boston imo

Of those, I think San Fransisco might be the one I go to. Or San Diego. I do like zoos.

So I’ve mentioned a few times on FS that I’ve literally never had any kind of social media account. In the event that I got one, I would prefer it not connect to my RL identity in any way.

I’m pretty damn boring and I’m not worried about RL people knowing I’m a massive nerd—they know already. I have not and would never troll or send anon hate or whatever. I just want a fandom-only identity. But when I’ve tried to set up email addresses to sign up for tumblr or dreamwidth or whatever, they always want to verify phone numbers and/or link to another email address before I can use the new email account. Anyone know a way around this for someone who is at “my computer is a magic box” level, tech-knowledge wise?

Put a fake phone number.

I’ve tried, and then the account setup requires SMS verification, where they send a code to the fake phone number—or email address—I entered, that I have to type in before I can use the account.

What site is this?

Re: Advice

(Anonymous) - 2018-12-09 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

Did you use that email for anything first? Like, maybe send an email to it from your regular email and then send out an email from that new account. I think they are probably worried about spam, so an unused, new email won't work. But maybe if you use it a bit.

I believe that Outlook lets you make emails without a lot of checks or nonsense, but I haven't checked in a while.

You could also use a free anonymizing email service like yopmail I guess.

I don't those sites generally publicly expose / identify your phone number, if that helps at all

I sometimes use a site called Mailinator when I need a one-off email address. Just input a fake address ending in @mailinator.com and forget about it. If the site where you are trying to sign up sends you a confirmation email you can access it at https://www.mailinator.com/

Use protonmail! They don't require a phonenumber.

https://protonmail.com/signup

AYRT—I may actually end up using Protonmail, but it’s kind of sad that I’m not worried about a repressive government getting hold of my info, or hiding a super out-there porn habit from a significant other. I’m just a combo of naturally paranoid, and annoyed by targeted ads.

Storytime: I have no kids and no young relatives, but liquid baby vitamins can be used in smaller doses for chickens, which I keep. Which means I occasionally google dosage amounts and buy baby (human) vitamins. More than once, I’ve been sent sample cases of baby (human) formula in the mail a couple weeks after buying the stuff.

Also, sometimes I buy plants from online nursery catalogs. This means that every winter and spring I get sent enough plant/seed catalogs that I’ve contemplated decoupaging my entire bathroom. I don’t mind them so much; at least they’re fun to look through.

It does make me wonder if this happens to people no matter what they google/buy. If someone googles “bearded dragons” one too many times, do they get sent sample herpetology magazines? Do women who buy black leather corsets and spiky boots for Catwoman costumes get catalogs full of fetishwear?

On the other hand, I remember someone posting about how stupid amazon’s purchase suggestion algorithm was because they’d bought one toilet seat, dammit, and did not need to subscibe to get them delivered every month.

And then there’s bs like LJ/Tumblr/lots of other sites going tits up (or not) because their owning companies wanted to sanitize them to increase their userbase/people whose info they could sell/who could be sold to.

aside from the tumblr thing, none of these things have ever happened to me (yet) and i've been making purchases over the internet for a long time.

I like to browse Duluth Trading Company's site sometimes, so I get a lot of ads for them on other websites and it's always for their men's underwear, even though I was looking at women's clothes. The adds are cheeky so it's kind of funny but it probably looks weird to anyone looking over my shoulder that there's this banner add for underpants that's all "SWAGGER WITHOUT THE SWING IN BULLPEN UNDERWEAR!"

Is it possible to develop some sort of psychological trauma from emotional and verbal abuse from family and strangers over decades? Not like PTSD where you can dissociate and have nightmares, but to the point where you might cry and get depressed and want to close off and hide from people and don't want to make friends or date, you just want to be a hermit? When I'm alone I also end up responding out loud in anger when I replay what has been said and done to me and then it's like an OCD type of loop where I'm caught in this anger for 20 minutes.

I just want a different present and future and a different past and I'm unable to have it all.

PTSD isn't limited to severe events. I can say, first hand, that trauma can come in any shape or size. The abuse you're talking about is more than enough to trigger an emotional side effect, even resulting in PTSD itself.
I'd try and talk to a doctor, if that's available to you.

But, I guess, to answer your question- Yes. It is very possible to have a traumatic reaction to ongoing verbal abuse.

I believe my therapy options are limited. I'm on state health insurance and it's not the best.

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[ SECRET POST #4357 ]

Advice

To vacation or not to vacation?

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