case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2019-01-08 06:35 pm

[ SECRET POST #4387 ]


⌈ Secret Post #4387 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #628.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2019-01-09 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
yeeeaaaahh it's pretty damn unpleasant when you try to discuss fandom and genuinely wonder "why is it that A always tops?" and the answers are always terrible yaoi stereotypes. Because A is taller, A is older, A is bigger in some sense, A is more aggressive, A is manly, A has a beard. It's very rarely "because that's just how I see them," which is a fine answer.

(Anonymous) 2019-01-09 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
How about "because A is taller/older/bigger, and that stereotype gets me off"?

Do you approve of that answer?

(Anonymous) 2019-01-09 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
I agree with you that "A tops because [stereotype]" is a problematic answer.

That said, I also agree with the anon who replied to you. "I write A as a top because A is [stereotype] and that's the dynamic I find hottest," is a valid answer. It may be frustrating to some people, and I get that. But there's a significant difference between "This stereotype is true, and that's why it's hot," and "I find this stereotype hot. I just do."

(Anonymous) 2019-01-09 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
finding the stereotype hot is also fair. I just want fandom to own their shit and be refreshingly honest when they do. but that's hard to expect when some pockets of fandom are still prudish and kinshamey and owning your shit means you'll get on some BNF's shitlist.

(Anonymous) 2019-01-09 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
Agreed.

(Anonymous) 2019-01-09 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
And I think that while f!s is all woke to the idea that it is a stereotype, there are a lot of people who internalize it in ways that affect our RL relationships. (Porn tropes are not doing us any favors here either.)