[ SECRET POST #4394 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4394 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #629.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

How do you handle the temptation to compare yourself to others?

[(Anonymous)]

I find I have a lot of trouble with this.

I write fic, and it's generally well-received, and I have a few people who are really into my work and who give me great feedback. At the same time, I can't help but notice those whose work is more popular than mine. I compare my numbers (kudos, comments, bookmarks) to other writers, and I get envious if someone has more than me, of any of those categories. I feel really guilty about this in regards to one writer whom I personally admire. Her fic is fantastic! She's written some of my favorite works, and I always feel moved to write detailed comments when I read her stuff. I should be happy that she gets the recognition that she does, and to some extent I am, but there's another part of me that's like, "oh no she's better than me, people like her more, I suck."

Rationally, I know I don't suck. There are people who like what I do (including the writer I mentioned above; she leaves me wonderful comments). I shouldn't be bothered by people "doing better." I should be happy for them, because they deserve it! They work hard and write great things! But I still have times when I just feel so terrible about myself because someone is getting more attention than me.

Anyone who's felt this: how do you deal with it? How do you talk yourself down from this kind of dramatic, all-consuming envy?

Re: How do you handle the temptation to compare yourself to others?

[(Anonymous)]

People like what they look for, sometimes I remind myself it matters more to me who I'm reaching out to and not so much how many. Maybe a bunch of people don't want a neon chenille jumpsuit but you can bet the person who gets excited to find one in a thrift store loves it all the more for it.

Re: How do you handle the temptation to compare yourself to others?

[(Anonymous)]

Well think about the logical inverse.

Do the people who get less comments and kudos than you, suck worse than you? Think about the work you like, from authors that get less comments and kudos than you. Does this mean the quality of their fic is worse than yours?

If you don't think that of them, why think it of yourself?

If you got the most kudos and comments in the fandom, does that mean your work is now good? If another fic surpassed it in number eventually, does that mean your fic is now bad? Without ever having actually changed?

Surely there must be some other inherent traits of fanworks that give them merit than # of audience responses. Do your works have them?

Re: How do you handle the temptation to compare yourself to others?

[(Anonymous)]

When I find myself doing things like this I tell myself, "We have different paths. We're not comparable." I then mentally list things I'm proud of writing, and then think of the projects I'm writing or thinking of writing and focus on advancing the plot or character development.
It helps me focus on what matters most to me, and that's writing.

Re: How do you handle the temptation to compare yourself to others?

[(Anonymous)]

As a cosplayer, I go out and shower everyone with compliments (that I really mean) because it helps put me in the mindset of appreciatting that we are all just fans celebrating what we love together. Then, as I find people I'm jealous of, I try to learn from them, engage them as friends, and push myself to do better. Basically I go making friendly rivalries, but I keep that part to myself. It's just motivation, because on some level seeing other people's passion is still inspiring to me, no matter how down I get.