fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #608 ]

⌈ Secret Post #608 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early 'cause I've got a 4:30 class --

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104. Actually it's perfectly normal, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a completely inept.

But you know what gets to me? The fact that a woman always comes every time, in every het smut out there. (Except for like, ONE fanfic I've read so far, and it was amazingly written.) It's perfectly normal for a woman to NOT reach her climax too, but fandom's warped it to the point that I feel self conscious, like there's something's wrong with me if I can't.

Thank you! Thank you so much! Statistically, it's actually NOT normal for a woman to reach climax every single time she has sex.

I think what gets me isn't so much that they come every time, since there's an element of fantasy, and while it's perfectly possible to have fulfilling sex without climaxing, a lot of people prefer to write about those encounters.

What gets me is HOW they come--through PIV sex, most often in a missionary position, without any clitoral stimulation. And generally just before or at the same time as the guy. (Assuming she's not just totally multiple orgasmic, which is also pretty common.)

Not only is it not realistic, it pretty much has every girl getting off on like... the least the guy is going to do (though doing it for a remarkably long time, sometimes), and it's kinda boring.

......real life: I'm doing it wrong? Because apart from one ree-hee-heeally bad partner, I've climaxed every time during sex.

I think the big thing about sex in fan fiction is that a lot of it is fantasy and wish fulfillment - if the writer's writing a fic about his/her OTP and they've finally gotten through Some Heavy Conflict and now everything is roses and K-Y, it would really put a damper on the tone of the fic if the sex wasn't intense, magical and extremely pleasurable for both parties involved.

And I can have incredibly fulfilling sex with no orgasm, but if I don't come my partner thinks he's doing it wrong and I'm like NO, that was great.

Um, hon, if your partner's not getting you off, iit' not you Doing It Wrong; it's them.

[ SECRET POST #608 ]

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