fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4406 ]

[ SECRET POST #4406 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #631.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This is an important topic, obviously. Which historical figures would you **** if you could **** any historical figures, and why?

Honestly, without a word of a lie, I would fuck Alexander Hamilton. But only pre- December 1780, because I respect Eliza too much otherwise.

That's very honorable tbh

same tbh

Ezra Pound was a hottie and, I hear, a good bloke. It'd have to be a one night stand, though, because I'm not a huge fan of his poetry -_-"

Ezra Pound was actually extremely not a good bloke, I'm sorry to say

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-27 21:07 (UTC) - Expand

Very much an anti-Semite, if YOU like that sort of thing. >:(

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 01:35 (UTC) - Expand

Young Joseph Stalin was a DISH, but just say no to dictators, kids.

Hahaha, you didn't lie.

Also, he looks like Zayn Malik and it's cracking me up.

Ooh, he was. Too bad, he got pretty yuck as he got older.

... Does it count when I want to see Alexander the Great and Hephaestion fuck?

Shakespeare because he's the wittiest guy in all history, period.

D. H. Lawrence because he was sensual, keenly observant, and a little emotionally sadistic.

And I'd definitely want a turn with Casanova just to see what all the fuss was about.

is there anybody from any historical point with such a good rep as being amazing in bed that I'd want to? I honestly don't know. I like a good fuck as much as the next guy but I can't imagine anyone being so good that it's worth the time travel.

Emma Hamilton?

Or the STDS. Won't someone please think of the STDS???

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-27 23:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-27 23:57 (UTC) - Expand

Sappho
She might write a poem about me! :D

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-27 21:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-27 21:44 (UTC) - Expand

Mary Wollstonecraft

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 10:12 (UTC) - Expand

Even today hygiene is the deciding factor on whether or not I can stomach being intimate with someone. The modern toothbrush wasn't invented until 1930 so, uh, none really. Fuck a chewing stick.

the Beatles!

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 01:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

greghousesgf - 2019-01-28 02:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:13 (UTC) - Expand

Franz Kafka. Because I totally get how he sees the world and also he is hot. I'm sure it would mess up both his head and mine but I'd still do it.

Yuri Gagarin. I mean, damn.

Julie d'Aubigny. I've no idea what she actually looked like, and it wouldn't exactly be an exclusive liason or anything, but awesome crossdressing lady swordswoman who will fight a duel for you and/or break you out of your convent by stealing a nun's corpse and setting the room on fire to fake your death so you can run away together. Whatever else, I'm figuring she wouldn't be boring!

Augustus Hervey, the Royal Navy's Casanova. All the fun, plus you get the uniform as well!

Ludwig II of Bavaria. He looked good and he liked to build castles! But he was likely gay, so I doubt he'd be into me.

Re: Hottest Historical Figures

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 22:52 (UTC) - Expand

Trick question, the only answer is the incomparable Julie d'Aubigny. Next!

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