fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4406 ]

[ SECRET POST #4406 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #631.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Women having fantasies about fictional assholes do not harm women as a whole.

Yes, they do. Men touting out 50 Shades' insane popularity among women as proof that we all want to get raped and abused is fucking terrifying and it happens at an alarming rate online. Stop pretending like these men are a minority or that some of the onus isn't on the women who get off on this shit. If we say one thing ("I want a good man") and then do another ("I say as I shlick to this fanfic of Kylo raping Rey who I self insert as") we are only helping to perpetuate this notion that we all want abusive assholes. Stop pretending like this doesn't hurt women.

Men touting out 50 Shades' insane popularity among women as proof that we all want to get raped and abused is fucking terrifying and it happens at an alarming rate online.

But no one is responsible for their decision to do so but themselves.

They're incorrect in the conclusions that they're drawing, so how can you blame anyone but themselves for drawing those conclusions?

They're incorrect in the conclusions that they're drawing

Are they incorrect though? Look at how many women love being thots and littles. It's like the majority of us DO want to be dehumanized deep down (not me though, the very idea is sickening to me). Can you really not look deeper into WHY women love fictional assholes and monsters?

Yes, yes, you're a good special virginal unicorn and the rest of us are dirty whores.

Grow the fuck up.

Not an argument. Also good job with the cattyness.

Abusers self-selecting for damaged women and women buying into the narrative that assholes can be redeemed by the love of a good woman in no way justifies or lessens the responsibility abusers bear for being abusive.

'kay but women are still just as responsible for perpetuating rape culture as men.

And yet, somehow rapists are still the only ones responsible for fucking raping people you myopic turnip.

Not at all helped by the fact that women continue to show that they find troubled, controlling, frightening men appealing. Both in fiction and real life.

It's still solely and entirely your fault if you rape someone.

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 02:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 02:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 04:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 05:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 05:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

Wanting to be dominated in a sexual context does not mean that you want to be dehumanized in a more general sense. So to the extent that they're drawing general moral conclusions from sexual fantasies, yes, they are categorically incorrect.

I do think it's interesting to ask why women love fictional assholes and monsters. But I don't think that the answer to that question is going to answer broad moral questions about The Nature Of Women, let alone justify abuse of women.

For one thing, fiction has taught us that fictional assholes and monsters have the potential to be changed for the better, and that can be a powerful fantasy when you're surrounded by real assholes and monsters who will never, ever change.

It's almost like the narrative that being the best good little woman you can be will earn you the love and respect of the most vilest man and fulfill you completely benefits someone.

Only if people confuse the fantasy narrative for reality.

I'm just saying that narrative reinforces the stupid argument playing out in this thread: that it's ultimately a woman's fault if a man can't treat her with basic fucking respect so it's hardly shocking patriarchal societies bolster it.

And yet women are still drawn to real men who are like that and stay with them for some reason. And I don't just mean extreme wife beater rapey types, I mean ones who are subtly abusive and manipulative without intending to be. Women still dig it, especially if the men in question have any kind of clout.

If you genuinely think abuse victims are drawn into and trapped in relationships with their abusers because they get off on it, there is no hope for you.

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 03:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lololol!

(Anonymous) - 2019-01-28 04:37 (UTC) - Expand

No, they don't. Rapists and abusers harm women. They would still harm women if 50 Shades didn't exist, because they harmed women before it existed. They insisted the women they harmed enjoyed it - or deserved it - before 50 Shades existed. The blame for that is not on women, it's on the men who rape and abuse them, and grasp at literally any fucking straw they can find to justify their behaviour.

Stop pretending that men's violence and bullshit self-justification is in any way the fault of women. You are harming women by excusing the assholes.

It took forever for feminism or female empowerment to take root and there are a shit ton of women today denouncing it and wanting to go back to "the good old days" where they stayed in the kitchen and married any man who's a go getter that won't take no for an answer. Women have probably been encouraging men to treat them like shit since the beginning of time by interpreting it as love and romantic or finding it hot long before they started writing bodice rippers. The fact that they still do this- that is, find abusive men arousing-, like it's embedded in their DNA, is pretty telling.

Go back to jerking off to badly-researched evo psych horseshit in your incel forums, why don't you?

I like how you don't have a decent rebuttal beyond namecalling. Keep burying your head in the sand, sis.

You received the response your "argument" deserved.

Even following your disgusting logic, having it "embedded in their DNA" and culture would still not somehow prove women originated this and poor, poor men had no choice but to adapt. Abusive men would be more likely to kill victims who fight back or don't succumb to Stockholm syndrome, societies have also enforced women existing as property and learning to cope with submitting to men's whims.

The fact that they still do this- that is, find abusive men arousing-, like it's embedded in their DNA, is pretty telling.

What do you think is "telling" about it? This isn't an argument, it's some kind of an implication.

Further: the fact that patriarchal abuse has been embedded in our society for generations is actually a pretty good explanation for why we would have built cultural narratives around that patriarchal reality which would endure even when we're starting to empower women.

Further, further: fantasies are not reality.

It's so fucking stupid to pretend a victim's (perceived) enjoyment or desire for rape or abuse has any effect on whether or not a victimizer enjoys abusing someone. I don't like raping people, I wouldn't like raping or abusing people even if they fantasized about it because I DON'T LIKE RAPING AND ABUSING PEOPLE jfc.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only