fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4419 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4419 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.

[Roxane Gay (author)]

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03.

[Pokemon]

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04.

[Jonathan Groff in Mindhunter (formerly King George III in Hamilton)]

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05.

[The ABC Murders]

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[Zac Efron as Ted Bundy in Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile]

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07.

[Marcus Wareing, Gordon Ramsay - Burning Point (documentary)]

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08.

[Parks and Recreation, Ben/Leslie]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 51 secrets from Secret Submission Post #633.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes, I was always taught you are supposed to love family no matter what. I'm supposed to forgive and love my crappy uncle who sexually assaulted my mom when they were kids. I'm supposed to love my ridiculous libertarian uncle who thinks and often says that poor people are poor because they are terrible people, that immigrants are criminals wanting to hurt us and take our jobs, and criminals in general are evil and have something biologically wrong with their brains. And I'm supposed to love my grandmother.

I guess on some level I know it isn't rational to love every family member no matter what. But because my icky family members aren't quite to the level of obvious abuse (other than my uncle who I've hated since my mom told me what he did), it is harder to fight the idea that I have to love them.

Yes, alzheimer's is terrible. Her sister had it too, and her sister was a relative I did love and was pretty close to. Watching her go downhill and die was terrible. And I do feel bad for my grandmother. It makes me sad that she's suffering. But actually losing her, I guess I just don't feel anything about that because we were never close and I don't like her much as a person.

I don't know. Like I said, emotions are complicated. And I honestly don't actually know what I'm feeling.

Thanks.

Ugh, that's awful. I think it's unfortunately an outdated idea that still persists now that "family is family" and they can basically do no wrong. Family are people and people do messed up things, and the idea that they should still be loved/respected because ~family is off to me. I'm so, so sorry your mum had to go through something like that. :(

I used to work in care so I often saw a lot of conflicting emotions in family after a death. Some "I loved them, but they were suffering and the dementia changed them, so at least now they'll be at peace," but a lot of "we've actually never really gotten along" and a sort of relief. One lady's daughter told me after her mum passed that even before the dementia, she was an incredibly angry person and was physically abusive to her and her siblings growing up.

It's still a really tough situation to be in. Wishing you and your dad all the best.

[ SECRET POST #4419 ]

Re: Complicated

Re: Complicated