[ SECRET POST #4424 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4424 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #633.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[philstar22]

This. And the thing is, childfree people do get told they will change their minds. Childfree women get told there is something wrong with them and that someday of course they'll want kids. So it isn't like this is completely harmless.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh so true. The number of times I had people smirk at me over the head of a child in their lap as they condescended to me about how I’d change my mind...

[philstar22]

Since having a hysterectomy, I've had someone in my family, who very well knows I don't want kids, tell me that "you can always adopt." It never lets up. I thought being no longer able to have kids would stop it. BUt nothing stops it.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

WOW. That’s spectacularly dickish. I mean, you’d think telling poeple for years that you don’t want kids and actually removing your ability to have kids would get the message across. Sadly, I’m not overly surprised. I’m lucky enough that most of my family have backed off over the years, but I’m sorry to hear you haven’t been as fortunate.

[greghousesgf]

some random nurse I didn't even know started handing me the same shit when I was in the hospital to have one ovary out because it had a big tumor on it (non-cancerous, thank fuck). I told her I'd already had my tubes tied and she went nuts on me, asking me if my parents weren't ashamed of me, etc. bitch.

[philstar22]

Good grief. People are so ridiculous about women and their reproductive capablities. Well, people are just ridiculous about women's bodies in general.

[greghousesgf]

and when you're stuck in a hospital bed, you're not exactly in a position to make them GTFO.

[philstar22]

It took so long to find a gynecologist who was even willing to listen to me. And they're the doctors who are supposed to know about this stuff. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I hope that woman gets fired.

[greghousesgf]

this was years ago and she was pretty damn old then. Maybe she's dead.

[tabaqui]

I wish I could find one like that here for my daughter. She doesn't want kids and would love a hysterectomy - no more periods!

[philstar22]

Good luck. I only found one willing to do it after I'd tried everything else. And she still made me keep one ovary.

[tabaqui]

Well, i had a hysterectomy when my daughter was...six? I think? And we kept the ovaries so i'd continue to have hormones and not go into some kind of early menopause, etc.

Just in some kind of menopause *now*, I think, if the hot flashes are anything to go by.

They only did it because they thought i had some kind of endometriosis-type issues going on (turns out i was Crohn's, but yay! no more parts.)

[philstar22]

I do have endo. I also had uterine fibroids. Symptoms are mostly gone, but I still occasionally get some. I'd have preferred it all gone. I think menopause wouldn't be as bad as all this. But at least it is better now than it was.

[tabaqui]

That's good.

I detest the hot flashes. I wake up sometimes in the middle of night, dripping with sweat. I have to get up and get a towel. It's just so gross.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you already know this, but the childfree subreddit has a list of doctors who actually respect their patients' choices.

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors

[tabaqui]

I did not because i don't really do reddit, but thank you so much!

[tabaqui]

For fuck's sake!

[greghousesgf]

IKR?

[rosehiptea]

Wow that's horrible. Someone asked me if I had grandkids and I said that as far as I know my son doesn't want kids, and they started trying to reassure me that he might change his mind. Like he owes me grandkids or something. Fuck no.

[tabaqui]

Holy gods, this. I have *zero* interest in being a grandma, wth.

[dinogrrl]

IAWTC, and the one it was replying too.

There's some truth in most tropes, that's why we like them, they're easy to engage with. Some tropes can be very good things for some stories. Some are groaners because they get way overused and are super predictable. And some tropes are actively harmful to the people and situations they describe, whether they were meant that way or not. 'Childfree person [usually of the female persuasion] decides they were wrong and they have a child and love it' is of that type.

Does it happen in real life? Yes, sometimes. Is that fact used as a weapon against childfree people? Yes, frequently.