fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4431 ]

[ SECRET POST #4431 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4431 ⌋

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So then why do lesbians ship m/m content

I legit want to know this because every lesbian I've known personally who has written some serious m/m smut can't explain it to me

but as a gay man who is genuinely squicked by ladyparts I can't get into f/f or even het because ladyparts. so why are lesbians who say they're squicked by manparts still writing hot m/m sex? I don't understand. I really don't understand. please xplain. it's not the romance content it's the smut, the dicks in butts.

da.

gotta be honest as a lesbian, who is NOT into m/m porn because well: dicks, i 100% do not understand it either. i understand shipping m/m as a lesbian from an emotional aspect, i've got some m/m ships i adore because they give me feelings, i just dnw to read about them getting it on. i get that. but when they're clearly only in it for the porn ???? ¿¿¿¿ i find it really confusing tbh.

honesty part of me thinks maybe for the feedback? m/m is typically more popular so maybe the attention is worth it? and tbh if that is the reason then fair enough.

nayrt I'm a woman and more into women than men and I rarely enjoy m/m smut. But I'm still confused because many lesbians seem to love it.

I know some people feel male characters are better written than female ones but that doesn't explain the smut. Although no one owes me any explanation so I don't go around asking.

sa.

oh yeah i'm not about to barge in and demand an explanation from any lesbians who solely write m/m smut, i just find it very confusing is all as a woman not into dudes on a sexual level at all.

tbh i think there's a whole lotta weird cultural shit that goes into it too, stories are often more male-focused, more male characters written as sympathetic/likable/multifaceted, a greater importance put onto male-driven stories in general, etc. because i hate the notion that women are 'hard to write' or relate to as... well i am a woman, so that kid of thinking is toxic as shit to me, but i'm not gonna like scream at anyone who does prefer writing men either.

but also i'm probably getting too deep there and it's much less complex than all that, lmao.

(no subject)

rosehiptea - 2019-02-22 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

I like all categories of ships, but I can only get into the porn if there's a man involved. I'm attracted to men and women, but reading about women's genitals and sexual arousal is boring. I can experience that by myself whenever I want. I can never know what it feels like to be a man experiencing sexual pleasure, so reading about it as the closest I can get is infinitely more intriguing.

SA

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 02:17 (UTC) - Expand

same. i can get being into the romance aspect, like you said, because romance is romance and a cute ship is a cute ship, but once it gets into the porn territory? i legit don't get it.

Another lesbian here, definitely don't give a shit about the feedback, am legit masturbating to m/m porn. :]

I can't really explain it. I'm a lesbian who loves m/m and isn't squicked by male parts in writing or fanart, but oh christ, if I see a real 3D human dick in any context I'm legit horrified. And the very thought of me being anywhere near a cismale in a sexual context makes my skin crawl. Yet I still love m/m?

It may be that I like seeing men be vulnerable or put in the "woman" role in the sense that they're the ones being pursued and fawned over for their appearance, something that rarely happens in most media. It's usually always the woman being the object of desire/objectified, which I can't stand. And when it does happen that the guy is the object of desire in m/f romance, it's usually in a "ooh, he's so strong and macho and alpha and rich swoon~" which I don't find appealing at all. Maybe it's the inherent femininity of m/m and f/f that I like? I like f/f that involves women being fawned over by other women, but the second you put a man in there to do the fawning, I'm out.

This is entirely my own experience, but I don't want "replace" either character with myself, so m/m is the best way to detach the fantasy from myself. Also, more characters I enjoy reading from an emotional standpoint fall under m/m.

And just because it pisses me off to no end, I feel like every f/f smutty fic I read only has one partner orgasming. It's SO FRUSTRATING and I freaking hate it. Because it's every single one!

"Tee hee, that was the best orgasm ever. Should I go down on you now?" "No, you can get me next time *WINK WINK*"
FIN.

I don't know why it's so ubiquitous, but it is. M/M fic almost never does this.

just popping in to commiserate over fic that does this, and i guess i've been unlucky because i've come across m/m AND m/f that have this happen, my f/f reading has actually been okay for this? but it must be due to the fandoms.

but yeah it's so frustrating, and even worse when it's an interracial couple and only the white-half gets off... like, really?

Maybe it's common because a lot of women have sex that way? I mean that's how I have sex. Simultaneously climaxing is difficult, and also I'm either in the mood to focus on my pleasure or my partner's, hardly ever both at once.

Er, I wouldn't generalize. Obviously simultaneous climax is nigh-impossible but I can't imagine us both not getting each other off in a session. My partner would feel bad if I didn't, even if I honestly just wanted to focus on her.

Lesbian here, to me, same-sex is what's hot. Het, for whatever reason, does nothing for me. But two guys or two girls absolutely does. It's genuinely sexy and arousing to me, the idea of two attractive guys going at it. I guess even a guy alone can be really hot, it's just it doesn't feel right if I try to have sex with guys with my female body, I get completely turned off. It's the gayness that clicks with me.

seconding this.

I'm bi, but find that I enjoy m/m porn way, way more than I'm interested in dicks in real life, and I think the detachment has a lot to do with it. With m/m porn, I can more easily enjoy it as a pure fantasy that has absolutely nothing to do with my own body or issues or anxieties. When one or more women are involved, it's more likely that I'm going to get turned off because they're doing something I know I wouldn't enjoy in real life, or else that my personal insecurities will kick in and I'll end up sitting there sadly thinking 'no one is ever going to want me like she/he wants her' or something like that.

I'm not a lesbian so even though I feel like I could take a decent stab at answering this, I'm not going to. Because it's really not my place.

But I gotta say, if you don't have some reasonably informed notions about why some lesbians ship m/m content at this point, you must be actively ignoring/avoiding paying attention to what lesbians have to say on the matter. I've never even actively looked for an answer to this question, yet I've seen lesbian women explain it to someone about fifty times over by now.

My question was more about rhetorically pointing out some of the obvious reasons that the situation is more complex than OP presented it, not me actually not knowing the answer

Also, why don't straight men ship m/m and why does nobody call them hypocrites about ignoring m/m and liking lesbian porn even though they're not lesbians?

Eh, this is a bad comparison because societally speaking, straight men are absolutely fucking terrified of being seen as "gay" or doing "gay" things, even if they're not.

The idea that nobody has a problem with the way that straight men like lesbian porn is pretty ridiculous. People have plenty of (very reasonable) problems with it. Straight-man-oriented lesbian porn is a punchline to a lot of people. It just doesn't matter to straight men that people think that, because The Patriarchy.

People have problems with men liking lesbian porn, but they never say those men should turn to m/m instead because they should relate to it on account of being men and that if they don't like it they're just homophobic.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 16:06 (UTC) - Expand

there are plenty of people who have issues with it, and lots of criticism of how straight men engage with lesbian porn and lesbian content in general. it's just that for the most part those issues are ignored because almost everyone outside of those talking about it don't care that wlw's sexuality is being exploited and used for straight-male gratification.

because men are only likable in theory

I just like shipping, but I'm 100% lesbian. A lot of ships are equal to me.

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