fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #615 ]

⌈ Secret Post #615 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[formerly too big]

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Notes:

Early cause I have class!

STILL RANK 35 → [ pop ind sec env com ]

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 94 secrets from Secret Submission Post #088.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 2 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

104. Okay. One, I do agree that rape, when written realistically, is not hot. I also think that a lot of fics that people might label "non-con" would probably better go under "dub-con," which is NOT actually rape, but maybe that's just me.

Two, as someone who has been through shit like that before, maybe YOU should show some sensitivity to the fact that, you know, someone enjoying to read FICTION of something DOES NOT DESERVE IT TO HAPPEN TO THEM IN REAL LIFE. Glad you'd never really wish that trauma on someone, but your overreaction is still that: an overreaction.

Three, it's hardly just fandom. Take a look: rape fantasies (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_fantasy) are a kink, and they're not even an uncommon kink. And such fantasizing has nothing to do with an individual's opionions, thoughts, or inclinations towards actual rape. So calm down, learn to better seperate fact and fantasy, and move on.

105. Originally, when the last episode came on TV, we taped it so we wouldn't miss it. Not even knowing how it would end, as soon as Spike kicked that grenade through the doors, I somehow realized it and started bawling. We had to pause the tape until I calmed down because I couldn't see a thing. XD; Also, in that picture, cute Ed is cute.

106. I don't believe, but I have to say, this is in a way absolutely hilarious. And now I feel bad for thinking it, but. Wao. XD

109. Um... I don't think, with all the people I've seen discussing, say, Renji/Rukia, Ichigo/Orihime, Ishida/Ichigo, etc etc, that everyone's going to disown you for not liking the pairing. Unless you really do HATE it for some real reason (actual hate in fandom = YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG) and are a douche about it to fans. Are you a douche about it to fans?

115. The point not being that the other person would realistically let them. o_O 99% of people that fans ever say they would hit, it would never happen. Ever. Not even conceivably. And this ever makes a difference... why? We're not saying it's going to happen, just that we gladly would.

117. ... Just that picture makes me love him a little. Explain plz?

118. Why are you? What is your reasoning? (Not even bashing, because I... have no idea how that could happen. Seriously. Especially not to someone sane enough to realize it is happen and dislike it. Just want the haps here?)

119. And he is a pretty good reason. =D

127. WORD ♥

128. FUCK. YES. Red and Green more than Ash/Satoshi and Gary/Shigeru, by a bit, but FUCK YES. ♥♥♥

130. They're not really that different from naked female bodies in any other anime. Unrealistic. XD Also, I have to say, I doubt the reason people think it's a good anime is because it's killing off characters. (I also vaguely doubt that all the fans of the show necessarily think it's really very "good," per se, but um. That's another topic, methinks. >_>)

131. I'm not very long out of my teens and I think they're decently hot. Especially the ones on the far ends. =D;;

No shit it's an overreaction, I am well aware of that. That's why I feel guilty for thinking that way afterwards.

And I am aware that it is a kink. However, there is a HUGE difference between fantisizing or writing about being dominated sexually and RAPE.

And finally, is it really so much to ask that one's friends not get all butthurt about being told "I really don't like talking about that fic/kink/pairing, it makes me uncomfortable?"

All right. Either your secret was badly phrased, I'm not the best reader and also phrase things badly, or a mix of the two, and I apologize for any conclusions jumped-to on my part. To address in order:

1: It wasn't just that line that I was claiming as an overreaction. You say (and keep in mind that I only learned this AFTER posting my reply, reading through the comments) that the only point of your secret is that you can't stand your friends talking about it around you and then jumping on you when you tell them you're uncomfortable with it. That's perfectly reasonable, and they're being absolutely horrible and need to learn to stop and, yes, be more sensitive. They're not even just being insensitive, they're being awful friends.

But you also pull the extremely convenient non-apology of "I know it's horrible and I feel so guilty about it because I know it's wrong- BUT." Any remorse with a "but" is adding an excuse to it. So you probably really do feel guilty and know it's a bad thing, but as soon as you add "but does SHE ever feel bad for writing something so horrible???" pushes at least part of the blame onto the other party. That is not taking responsibility anymore. Added to that, if you were only complaining about your friends being insensitive to you, you'd have no need of adding in the preaching that you did- and I'm sorry, but "writing a fic where rape is portrayed as sex is disgusting" is preachy. Saying that you cannot help finding fics like that disgusting is one thing, but to say you're NOT wagging a finger at people and going "YOU'RE HORRIBLE FOR DOING THAT AND SHOULD FEEL BAD!" when... you know, you actually say that in your secret, is pretty damn futile.

2: I think you didn't actually read the link. Try clicking it again, it's just Wikipedia (which I know isn't always the best source, but I've seen it a lot of other places and it's just the quickest to find). You're right, rape is being dominated sexually but not all sexual domination is rape. However, rape fantasies are a common kink. Not just sexual domination, but rape. I do not see the point to your latter sentence, here.

3: That isn't unreasonable at all, and as I said, it's your friends who are definitely in the wrong here, and they DO need to be more sensitive. You went through something absolutely horrible, and they're being horrible to you on top of it, and that sucks. You need to make them understand, or maybe they're not very good friends after all.

But as long as that is not the only major point to your secret, people are going to continue being offended by your holier-than-thou attitude about all the rest of it.

And as my disclaimer, just gonna say that "rape-as-sexy" stuff isn't my thing at all either- it's a good psychological maneuver in a story sometimes, to see how everyone deals with the aftermath, but "sexy-rape" doesn't do anything for me and you are right in saying that 99% of the time it's OOC for the characters (oh, Clamp fandom ;;).

I think this is yet again a case of insufficient communication (starting with the badly phrased secret that didn't say anything about her friends).

Did the OP tell the friends that she didn't want to talk about that stuff and didn't want people to talk about the topic in her LJ/whatever, and the friends still push it on her? Then the friends are assholes. But if the friends simply talk about the topic among themselves where the OP can still see it (flist, whatever), or the OP decided that pairing X = rape and flips out when the friends don't agree (I've seen this happen too many times)? Then sorry but it's the OP who has to learn the art of Ignoring Stuff You Don't Like. Etc. etc.

There's a limit of what you can ask from people. Asking them to not talk about something with you because it makes you unfomfortable? Sure. And asking them to stop talking about something anywhere where you may see it because it makes you uncomfortable? Nuh-uh.

That was eloquent.

No. The pairing makes me physically ill and I can't tell anyone. The fans are a plus though, a plus in making me feel more ill about the pairing.

While I don't see how or why a pairing could make you feel physically ill, I do have to say that unfortunately, it's something that you probably shouldn't randomly be throwing around. If only because from the point of view of not being a jerk, telling people that their OTP makes you ill is kind of insulting even if it's true or not. Just try to avoid it and its fans (who, not knowing the Bleach fandom, I can't actually defend since EVERYTHING had really really really rabid retarded fans). Fandom shouldn't be a big deal, so just try to focus on the things you do like and not make a big deal out of or pay attention to the bits you don't. (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DofI4CjFeaY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DofI4CjFeaY)
The glass of milk is the cutest thing ever. <3

Oh crap. That went completely wrong.
:/

[ SECRET POST #615 ]

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