fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #619 ]

⌈ Secret Post #619 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain MULLETS.

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Notes:

Early cause I gotta run and get books/class/etc ethgkjehtkgh

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Would being a 40 year old virgin be so bad?

I'm 20 and I am one and I'll probably be one for a loooonnnnnng time, but I think society's emphasis on the importance of sex is ridiculous. Just go with it, and if you have sex, then you have sex, and if you don't you're a virgin. Big deal.

I'm a 20-year-old virgin and I was sort of thinking the same thing. Why is my life suddenly over if I haven't had sex...?

iawtc. I never understood why being a 40-year-old virgin was such a bad thing. I don't really care whether I remain a virgin or not, I don't think it's that big of a deal.

Agreed. I'm a 20-year old virgin myself and likely to stay that way for a long while.

Personally, I think it would be better to lose it at 40 with someone I really love than losing it now to the next person I meet simply to 'get it out of the way'.

As someone who feels pretty much the opposite, I have to ask why people build this up.

I'm not sure where the idea comes from that losing your virginity somehow "should" be a more special experience than every other time you're going to have sex in your life. Eh? Why should it be such an event? It's the first time you do something, okay. If you're female you might bleed a bit, okay. A bit of blood no longer leads us to believe the gods are involved, so what's the big deal?

You're probably going to have MUCH better sex with someone else you love down the line. (Statistically, people are unlikely to stay with the people they lose their virginities to, yes? I mean, you could, but it's technically unlikely.)

I think I'd rather focus on gaining experience, so that the sex I have with whoever I choose for a life partner (or partners) will be special, then worry about building up The Event of losing my virginity To Someone Special.

I can't speak for everyone so I'll just speak for myself. (Which may have some TMI. >>;)

I've been very uncomfortable with my body and sexuality for a long time, and I only started to masturbate early this year. I have a lot of issues in regards to physical intimacy and I know that, for me, it'll be a big deal to meet someone that I could trust enough to let them close enough to me to have sex.

I would also like to get that learning experience from someone that is special to me so that together we can make it special. It may not be likely or realistic, but I'm personally not comfortable having sex with just anyone simply for the 'experience'.

...Not to say that the first time would be any more special than the times afterward, but it would mark a pretty big step for me and accepting my body enough to share it.

I actually agree with you. However, some people simply don't view it in that way; they DO think that sex is something sacred. They don't have to answer for it.

Speaking as a genetic woman who had sex FAR before being ready, I have to say that the kind of cavalier attitude your post exudes (not saying you HAVE it, just saying that's the impression I get) is kind of... insulting? It was painful. I didn't have fun; I NEVER wanted to have sex again after that. I felt horrible, scared, and generally upset... but that's okay, I gained EXPERIENCE! :D

(Just an FYI- I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just trying to explain it from my perspective.)

I'm 23 here, with no plans of changing my status. That's why I just don't think I'll ever watch the movie--I hate that being a virgin after a certain age is just something to be ashamed of. Lametastic.

SPOILERS: the moral of the story is that it's really nothing to be ashamed of.

This 21 year old virgin agrees 100%.

IAWTC. It doesn't look like it's all that much fun, anyway.

If it's not, then you're doing it wrong. Considering that it is the most basic biological function after eating, sleeping, and excreting, you're just fooling yourself if you don't think it's a big deal.

I like to look at it this way: I'm happy being single, and I don't fall all over myself trying to remedy the fact. I also never have to worry about getting pregnant or getting any form of STDs...if you're happy having sex, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying I don't care if I die a virgin. What's it to you?

I felt that way when I was 20, but a few years later (24), I'm finding it increasingly difficult to shrug about it. (The reasons I haven't are complicated, so I won't get into them here.)

It just seems to get more socially awkward as time goes by. Personally, I don't REALLY want to be 40 and telling some potential partner, "Uh, I've never done it." It's an area in which adults of a certain age are expected to have experience, yes, and I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation. Most people have had sex by their early twenties.

You might also find it various degrees of odd or notable to find a 40-year-old who couldn't drive a car, yes? (Unless they lived some place like New York.) There's just certain things that adults are expected to have done by a certain point.

I know 40 year olds that can't drive. The majority of them can; but then again, if they can't, it's once again no big deal.

Beign a virgin doesn't mean you're defective in any physical or social way.

[ SECRET POST #619 ]

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