fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4585 ]

[ SECRET POST #4585 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4585 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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07. [SPOILERS for Good Omens]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #655.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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03. https://i.imgur.com/vS8BZWU.png

My personal take is: unless it's a space that's really specifically signposted as being for positivity only, or unless someone is being really unnecessarily nasty, it's just part of having a conversation.

Eh, not really. Someone coming into a “I love X!” descussion to say “X sucks!” is just as annoying as someone coming into a “Y sucks!” thread to say “You’re wrong!” The discussion isn’t meant for them.

Someone coming into a “I love X!” descussion to say “X sucks!”

Right, that's what I meant by signposting. I agree it's weird if it's a thread that's specifically meant for positivity.

I'm sure you're going to get the standard chorus of "b-but people are allowed to---!!!"

I agree with you. People can say whatever they like, but this kind of performative repulsion is childish and annoying.

Is the performative part the fact that they commented, or the words that they used?

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-07-26 23:56 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah. People are curiously eager to defend annoying behavior, which says a great deal about them, really.

I'm sick on the internet of people just writing uninformed childish opinions. "I'm entitled my opinion and that SUCKS!" Sure you're entitled to your opinion and i'm entitled to tell you to develop more of a friggen vocab to be able to express your opinion. Saying something SUCKs does nothing to contribute

Yeah, I never make that sort of statement (publicly) unless I'm ASKED point blank whether I like something or not.

I wonder if people do do feel the need to insert themselves just to make that sort of "I personally think it's gross but you do you" statements have ever been on the other side of this sort of thing, and had something they like sniffed at?

Yeah, I never make that sort of statement (publicly) unless I'm ASKED point blank whether I like something or not.

You do you, but it seems really weird to turn any negative opinion whatsoever into some kind of taboo.

I wonder if people do do feel the need to insert themselves just to make that sort of "I personally think it's gross but you do you" statements have ever been on the other side of this sort of thing, and had something they like sniffed at?

Yeah? All the time? Things that are for me aren't for everyone else. That's fine. That's life.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-07-26 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-07-27 00:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-07-27 00:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-07-27 00:05 (UTC) - Expand

AYRT

(Anonymous) - 2019-07-27 00:29 (UTC) - Expand

Ha. I recall someone who basically joined a message board just so that they could go on and on about how much a series sucked. Hilariously, the same person raged at someone else for publicly bashing something THEY liked. Self-aware, they were not.

I'd much rather someone do that than some shit like "omg pedophile go choke".

Does it add any more or less to the conversation than a +1 or a simple "I liked it, too."? I mean, obviously if they had added their reasons for the shudders, that would be more substantive, but I think, as long as they aren't telling others that they are wrong for their opinions, a disagreement adds as much as an agreement. And it's not a terrible thing to be reminded that people have different tastes. Beyond that, people come to places like this specifically to express their opinions to others - sometimes you just want to make a comment about something, good, bad, or indifferent.

Re: Huh.

(Anonymous) - 2019-07-27 01:32 (UTC) - Expand

Seconding all of this extremely hard.

It's pretty silly to me that people are annoyed by someone expressing a dissenting opinion on fandom secrets. Like, if you express your opinion and everyone either agrees with you or keeps mum, doesn't that kind of...negate the secrets aspect of it being fandom secrets? I mean, then it's less "fandom secrets" and more "fandom totally safe opinions."

People's honest reactions are a big part of what this place runs on.

Honestly, if I read a thread where everyone has agreed with the OP but I genuinely disagree, I'll make a point of saying so, if only for the sake of variety.

I have no problem engaging with people who have negative opinions, but there is a point where it's like those people who have to make disgusted faces and gagging noises when they ask what you're eating and you tell them. You don't have to like it, but there are ways of expressing yourself that aren't so rude.

Yes, that's exactly how it is! There's no need to go out of your way to show people just how grossed out you are by the things they're enjoying. It reeks of ego.

If someone's having a discussion, especially between two anons, it can get very confusing who's saying what at times. So if someone felt the need to agree with something/someone it's easier to add your two cents this way. Jumping into an argument half over just makes things difficult for everyone, plus some people just can't help themselves.

People just fucking suck and they think their opinion should matter to others for some reason.

Why did you make this post?

I'm with you. George Carlin famously said to think of the intelligence of half the population and then remember half of them again are half as stupid. This explains to me the kinds of stupid opinions on the internet where people vomit on the keyboard because 'IT'S MAH RIGHT!'

I hate toxic people too. Giving your opinion is one thing, spreading negativity and misery is another.

Mm, like... I don't like when a conversation feels like it would be uncomfortable to be in disagreement with everyone? I like it to feel like someone can come in and respectfully say they feel differently about a kink/trope/character/ship, but like... it's definitely uncomfortable when everyone is having a good time about something and then one person is a total dick about it.

There are things that I disagree with good friends on, where a pal and I might share the majority of our fandom opinions and then get to a place where they say 'and also this' and I say 'oh, no, that one's too much for me', or where I might say 'I kind of have a craving for this' and they can say 'ah, that one squicks me a bit', and like... I think there are three big factors for me as to whether it's appropriate to join a conversation to say you don't like X-thing-others-like.

A lot of it is tone, because there are polite and impolite ways of saying you don't like a thing someone else likes, but it's also whether you're talking to friends or strangers. If people know me, they know I'm not being a dick when I state my preferences-- and if I'm toeing the line of being a dick I can apologize for getting negative. Sometimes you need to be able to say you don't like things-- maybe someone's asking you if you've been watching/reading the same thing the group is enjoying and you haven't done because it squicks you, so you want them to know it's not your thing and they can talk about it without you without expecting you to catch up on that piece of media. Or maybe you take prompts for fic/art but have to explain that you don't write about X thing.

And then there's like... how dominant is this thing in your fandom/circle. There's a HUGE difference to me between these two sorts of exchanges, for instance--
A: So obviously we all believe (sex headcanon X) and at this point we might as well treat it as canon!
B: Actually, I don't see it that way at all and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I'm going to nope out if that's the convo.
vs
A: I'm so glad I've found other people in this fandom who are into X, everyone else really likes Y, I was afraid I was the only one who would like this!
B: Oh, I think Y is much better than X, X is a little gross/weird to me. I'll go find a thread for Y I guess.

Person B can have the same level of tact, state the same intention to leave people to their conversation, but like... when person B is defending having a minority opinion, I feel more charitable towards them even if it's not an opinion I share, because I've been in the position of preferring an unpopular thing and having positive discussions about it bombed by people who can't wait to tell you you're wrong if you don't like it their way... It's cool to be able to discuss differences of fandom opinion, but it's not cool to put down a convo between people who've just found that they all share a less popular fave, or to completely derail a love-fest with negativity.

It's a way of saying "your kink is bad and you should feel bad" while protecting yourself against kinkshaming claims.

Because they're egotistical and think their opinions matter for some reason.

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