case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2019-09-04 06:45 pm

[ SECRET POST #4625 ]


⌈ Secret Post #4625 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Star Trek: Enterprise]


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[Horatio Hornblower]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #662.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

(Anonymous) 2019-09-05 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I get kind of annoyed by cis women using tomboys and suits as some sort of gotcha regarding trans people. If you want to be a woman in a suit or jeans, there's about a century of history there including Dietrich and Hepburn you can evoke, and a fashion industry to sell you pantsuits, jeans, and even tuxes designed for women off the rack. And yes, those options will suck as much as the dresses that the fashion industry, sells but dressing like my grandma did in World War Two might get you labeled eccentric, but still have plausible straightness. There is a line beyond which butches get clocked, but there's a lot more wiggle room.

If I wear a dress to a family wedding, well, first I'd probably have to make one because I don't have a body type that can do off-the-rack. But there would be absolutely no question that I'd be seen by some people as either a queen or tranny or both, and likely that would get me cut out of things like Thanksgiving and Christmas where the family finances get talked out, and probably never see my younger nieces or nephews again.

I choose my battles there, which means wearing clothing that feels like a clown suit, lying my ass off about my life, nervously changing the subject when LGBTQ politics comes up, and uncomfortably sitting around low-grade homophobia and transphobia. Putting on that performance is stressful and hurts my relationships with them in other ways. That's less and less sustainable the older I get.