[ SECRET POST #4685 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4685 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 38 secrets from Secret Submission Post #671.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice needed.

[(Anonymous)]

My condolences, op. My advice is to allow yourself some time to grieve the end of the relationship, but try not to go down those spirals where you try to analyze everything and beat yourself up about how and why it went wrong. Friendships end for many reasons. Be kind to yourself, engage in self care, but also find a productive way to spend some of your time, too.

Re: Advice needed.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been analyzing every word he wrote.

Re: Advice needed.

[tabaqui]

Don't do that. That just hurts you, and leads to nowhere. It's okay to be sad or mad or hurting, but don't pick through past encounters, hoping to find some magical formula that will fix it all.

Anon's advice is good - grieve the friendship, realize that it wasn't perfect (and that the issues were on *both* of you), and imagine a future where you have other, better friendships.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
*hugs*

Re: Advice needed.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you.

Re: Advice needed.

[(Anonymous)]

I completely get the drive to do this, but please try not to. It's very tempting to examine every little detail so you can gain some understanding or closure but honestly, this is not the way to do it. The last thing you need to do is obsess over something that cannot alter the outcome of this friendship and while you do this, you won't be able to move on. Any insight you can gain from this friendship ending will happen - IF it happens at all - much, much later, AFTER you've moved on. You're too close to it now for scrutiny to do any good.

Don't pick at the wound, let it heal.

Re: Advice needed.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't do that. I know you want to figure out where it all went wrong, but it's not like you can argue him back into being your friend if he doesn't want to be and it's highly unlikely there is some valuable lesson to be learned that you would need to apply to other friendships.

Re: Advice needed.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you.