fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4687 ]

[ SECRET POST #4687 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4687 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I'm being cyber-followed by an ex best friend of mine? I hestiate to say 'stalked', because it's not consistent enough for that; but on the vast majority of social media sites I follow she'll find some way to track me down and reach out to me. I keep blocking her or otherwise ignoring her when she does (her profiles have pretty obvious tells), but since she lives in the same town as me and my family I fear this method's gonna be unsustainable after a while. I seriously do not want her to keep finding me or to reach out to her - she's an EX best friend for a reason.

Any ideas?

Hmm. How long has this been going on?

Like I said, it's not SUPER consistent; the most frequent it's been is a couple of months apart from each other. Today's been the first time it's happened for a couple of years.

am I making too big a deal outta this, do you think?

DA

I'd just keep blocking and moving on, since it's been a couple of years since the last time.

I'm kind of in agreement with this. Unless you have reason to believe it's going to escalate in horrible ways...

You say she lives in your town. Is it a fear of just looking bad because you're ignoring her? Or because she's done some terrible things, possibly physically or life-endangering, to earn her the title of ex-friend? Has she done anything in retaliation to being blocked/ignored so far?

If all she's doing is looking you up and nothing else, I'd say just keep blocking her and pretending nothing happened.

I'd say ignore it.

Do you have any I insight into how she's managing to keep finding you? And whether or not there are any measures that you can take to make that harder, if not impossible? I ask because a surprising number of people don't seem fully aware of privacy and security measures on their social media and what steps they can take to limit public exposure.

I think if you want this to stop, it's worth taking a hard look at your social media practices and if it's as tight as it could be.

I'm gonna hijack your advice thread for a minute here.

So I've lost my daily medication, (for ADHD, so it's a controlled substance), I knocked the bottle over one morning, and a majority of them fell into the furnace grate in my room. I tried to fish some of them out, but I haven't cleaned my grate out in a while and the ones I found were not exactly edible...
Problem is that this happened shortly before my most recent appointment with my doctor. The month before this I got a double renewal as to not pay two service fees for my prescription. This is the prescription I lost. I didn't mention losing my meds to my doctor because he was already writing a new script. (I guess he forgot he wrote a double script last month)
I figured "oh great, this works out perfectly!" but when I gave the script to the pharmacist I waited for a while before she mentioned that I should already have my meds and would put it on file for the next month. Me, being me. I panicked and said it was fine, I was just shopping which was why I was still there. (aka I'm an idiot)
I've waited like a week, and I'm pretty sure I can't wait the rest of the month. (As if this mess of a post isn't making a point of that already...) Obviously, I just need to be honest, but I'm not sure how to phrase any of this. It's already ridiculous that I dropped them down a grate, but it's also the fact that I happened to get an extra prescription around the same time and didn't bother mentioning it to my doctor! I'm afraid I'll just show up at the pharmacy and say nothing because I don't want to be thought of as a drug addict or something...

How ridiculous is this, and how much am I overreacting?

Eh, it's not great but it can be dealt with. You're right that pharmacies see a lot of liars with drug seeking behavior, but they also know that accidents happen. If you don't have a past history of "losing" pills or pestering them to refill prescriptions early, you've got a shot.

* Do this at your regular pharmacy. If you don't have one, pick one for future uses and stick with it. Do NOT go around to different pharmacies trying to fill the new prescription, not even different chains, because that looks like you're shopping around for a gullible pharmacist. Be a good customer, always. Never raise your voice, never get angry or upset.

* If you saved any of the pills you dropped down the grate, put them back in the bottle and bring them with you to the pharmacy. Explain (calmly) what happened and ask what your options are.

This might not work, but it's still your best shot.

Ah! Thank you for replying! Unfortunately I threw out all the ones in the grate, but I'll try to see if I can scrounge up any more! I have kept the same pharmacy over the years and haven't had any incidents like this in the past, so I guess I may have the benefit of the doubt, so that is reassuring. Plus I do tend to be level headed, even if things don't go my way, so I'll put that in practice and take no if that's their answer. Even if they do believe me, I imagine there might be some legal reason that they might have to send me away on, after all.
I'll definitely take your advice! Even if they tell me to wait, then it's really not much different than saying nothing, so I'll see if they hear me out! Thank you again!

I you have difficulties expressing yourself you might also print out the text about what happened and show them.

That's a very good idea! I'll write something out just in case I chicken out. Thank you!

Good luck!

It's kind of weird that she keeps finding you. Do you have a wide social media presence? How locked down do you keep stuff? A few ideas:

* Maintain a separate e-mail address for your social media stuff. Make sure the username has no links to your real name or any other usernames you've used elsewhere. Just a bunch of random letters and numbers.

* Go through the security/privacy settings of all your social media accounts with a fine toothed comb. Opt out of your profile showing up in searches. Lock stuff to friends only or private. If you're on Facebook, create lists to keep your friends groups separate and ONLY POST TO LIMITED, SPECIFIC LISTS. Set your posts to exclude all her accounts and anyone linked to her. Set your privacy settings so that if people tag you, it doesn't simply show up on your timeline. Set your privacy settings so that only people on your friends list can message you privately. Post nothing publicly.

* Scale back on the information you share. A lot of people simply don't realize that they're sharing way too much personal info on their social media that makes them too easy to track down. Avoid selfies. Avoid discussing where you're going on vacation, what concerts you got tickets for, what bars and restaurants you're at/going to. Don't mention other people by name, especially not full names, so you can't be tracked via your relatives and acquaintances.

Lastly, if you haven't already done so, tell this person directly and firmly that you're not interested in communicating with her and not to contact you again. Don't sugarcoat it. Don't try to soften the blow or be "nice" about it. "I'm not interested in talking to you. Don't contact me again." THEN block. Don't repeat yourself, don't respond to any further communications or questions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4687 ]

Need Advice (serious answers only please)

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DA

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