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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2020-03-21 03:55 pm
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[ SECRET POST #4824 ]


⌈ Secret Post #4824 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 48 secrets from Secret Submission Post #691.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
Before I start offending people, what does Demisexual even mean? I'm Ace, so I know there is a lot I don't understand, but as far as I know, you like one, the other, both, or neither, and everything in between confuses the fuck outta me. There's only two genders, so how are there so many options?

(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
Demisexual is "not wanting to fuck someone until you like them enough" - so basically being like everyone who else who isn't into casual sex.

(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Demisexual is "not wanting to fuck someone until you like them enough"

No, it's not. It's "not feeling any sexual attraction for anyone until you know them enough and like them enough." That's a very different thing than what you said. Seems like you don't know what you're talking about and are just here being an insensitive ass for no reason.

(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
It's still very normal and does not need an additional label.

(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 09:11 am (UTC)(link)
Demisexual is where you feel no sexual interest in people until you get to know them and form a relationship with them.

Most people who simply aren't into casual sex probably still sometimes feel sexual attraction towards people they don't know, or barely know. Whereas a demi person won't feel any sexual attraction to anyone until they've really gotten to know them.

I'm not demi myself, but I have multiple friends who aren't into casual sex, and one friend who is demi, and from my observation, it absolutely is different.

Whether or not demi's belong in the ace community or not is a separate issue, and one I don't want to weigh in on here.

(Anonymous) 2020-03-23 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
ayrt

Thank you for your reply! I can't say that I get it exactly, but I definitely see how it's different for sure. It's basically like being Pansexual, right? If I'm not mistaken that is... Just that being Demisexual might mean when you have a preference towards a certain gender?
I totally agree that this isn't the place to voice if Demi's belong in the Ace community, given the people that've been frequenting lately, but regardless of that I do appreciate your answer!

(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 12:24 pm (UTC)(link)
There's only two genders

It's actually rather more complicated than that.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_gender

(Anonymous) 2020-03-23 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
ayrt

If you don't have anything relevant to say, you might as well not comment at all.

I asked a question which had nothing to do with basic biological means. If you wanted to make a statement as to why Demisexuality goes beyond the basic two general genders which society abides by then by all means make your point, but don't comment with a redundant statement like it means anything to anyone else but yourself.

(Anonymous) 2020-03-23 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
AYRT

I asked a question which had nothing to do with basic biological means.

1) Gender is cultural; sex is biological.

1A) There are also more than two sexes. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex)

2) You actually asked two questions in your original comment; the first was about demisexuality, and the second was, "There's only two genders, so how are there so many options?" If you only wanted people to respond to your first question, then maybe you shouldn't have asked the second one.

the basic two general genders which society abides by

Not all societies, and beyond that, not all subcultures even within societies where that's broadly true.

don't comment with a redundant statement like it means anything to anyone else but yourself

As I said, you are literally the first person to bring up gender in this subthread. I even quoted the bit of your comment that I was responding to in my previous comment. I wouldn't have said anything to you about non-binary gender systems if you hadn't talked about gender first.

(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
it's not wanting to bone someone you just met, so basically most people on the planet. but some people who feel like this needed to make-up a label for themselves because they wanted to be special and unique.

(Anonymous) 2020-03-23 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
ayrt

From what I've convalesced it sounds like Demisexuality is when people who thought they were Ace became attracted to their SO, and they didn't want to let go of their pre-established sexuality. Which is why it's associated with being Ace, because there's no other way I can imagine people relating 'not being sexually attracted to anyone' to 'being sexually attracted to someone'. Even if it's just 1%, it's still something, which proves the rule all the same.

(augh, sorry if this reads as rude i'm in a particularly bad mood right now...)
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