fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4831 ]

[ SECRET POST #4831 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4831 ⌋

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With the social distancing and staying at home, I mean. Is it a challenge or are you used to it?

For years, I've felt like an assortment of jumbled pieces on the edge of a vortex and I've desperately yearned for something I knew I could never have: a chance to put my entire world on pause, stay at home alone for weeks or months on end, and hopefully I'll eventually reassemble.

Now I have it.

I should feel guiltier about how good this is for me. I feel guilty about not feeling all that guilty, and that's as far as it goes. I'm not lonely, because my social life is and has always been 100% online. Mostly nothing bothers me except the large amount of cleaning I need to get done in this time. Which I actually feel like I can do because there's nothing else taking up my time and effort. I'm not spending all my time struggling to stay sane while still doing everything expected of me. Sometimes I lie around and do nothing at all, and feel nothing at all, and that feeling of nothing at all is everything I ever dreamed it would be. It's even better than happiness. I'm just scared it'll end before I realize it, even though I know I should want it to end right now, for obvious reasons.

Although I do miss McDonald's.

It's harder than I thought it would be. I need a ton of caffeine to power through my fanfics before that horrible feeling sets in. You know, "This is stupid why do I bother, I'm going to go sleep."

With enough caffeine I can get in probably five hours of writing before everything sucks and nothing is interesting. Also I'm stir crazy and totally bitter that shit like door dash doesn't deliver where I am.

My friend group is scattered all over the country, so our primary method of hanging out (aside from the couple of times a year where we all get together in person) has always been online. For us, it's just business as usual. We have our Discord chat, we all play FFXIV together, and we've been groupwatching movies and playing a lot of Jackbox lately.

It does suck that my local friends and I had a whole bunch of plans that we've had to cancel, but even then, it's still not a big deal. We're just doing a lot of online chatting and making plans to do things once this is all over. We've already picked out about half a dozen restaurants that we want to go check out.

It's bugging the hell out of me, especially how much of a pain grocery shopping is now and there's a zillion places I want to go that are closed now and I miss hanging out w/my friends. Thank fuck for my phone and computer. The people I really feel bad for are everybody who has to miss work. I never thought I'd actually be glad I'm on disability because I'm pretty sure that's not going to be messed with.

I'm long-term unemployed, so this is all pretty standard to me. The background stress levels are rather higher than usual, but eh. As long as I don't A) get C19 and B) give it to any of the aged and vulnerable family members I hang around with, it's all fine.

Same here. I went to the supermarket earlier for dessert and soda pop and I was like "Here's hoping I don't get COVID-19 on this trip!"

just speaking emotionally, i'm glad i still have a little bit of work to do here and there that keeps me on task and feeling productive~ and whatnot bc outside of that i would probably be in much worse shape w my entire routine ripped out from under me! it's especially hitting me hard bc it is making me feel like i am in the same place i was about five years ago, where i was in a much worse place and i never left the house bc of it. during that time i was in the worst place of an eating disorder, an alcoholic and dealing w major depressive disorder. i'm like, arguing w myself to not go buy a bottle or two at least every morning. but i have indulged in writing depressing poetry so far lmao.

i'm a lot healthier now and i am very proud of that! i know logically that i am not the same person i once was and that i've made a lot of progress. but the energy~ of staying home literally all day for days on end is kind of getting to me.

I'm okay with the isolation, but I'm working from home and I'm beginning to hate it because there's this creeping expectation that because I'm working from home I'm always available to work, which was not there when I was able to physically leave the office at the end of the day. (Mostly because before the pandemic shut everything down, we weren't allowed to bring any work home with us.)

I don’t have much of a social life, so work is most of my social interaction and I miss it sometimes. The only person I see regularly outside work is my aunt; we go hiking/walking together. But she and my uncle are in their 70s, so I haven’t seen them in about a month. I just joined a book club, and enjoyed the last in person meetup; the upcoming one’s gonna be online.

I feel guilty whenever I go to the store/anywhere else I have to interact with people; so far it’s only been two days since the 16th which is the last day I went to work. I also feel guilty that I haven’t got a lot of stuff on my to-do list done; I’m one of those “needs deadline pressure to do more than the bare minimum” people.

I’m anxious about the world in general and my job security, but I’m used to being anxious, so the only thing that’s changed is I have company in my anxiety.

Ok, I guess. I've been watching a lot of TV, reading, spending time online, playing games on my phone, getting plenty of sleep, doing a bit of cleaning/organizing...I think I'm going to make brownies tonight. I'm the type of person who spends a lot of time at home anyway, so it's not a huge deal for me, but I miss being able to go to restaurants, and going to the grocey whenever I want (now that there are no more 24 hour stores) and even if I did I couldn't get what I want because so many things are out of stock (or at least they were the last time I went a week and a half ago).

Tomorrow I'm going to stop in and visit with some relatives (six feet apart! and there's only going to be three of us, so not like a large gathering or anything) for a bit and then probably check and see if I can find toilet paper anywhere (I'm getting low since I didn't hoard it like a lot of people did) and maybe get a couple other things, then come back home to stay for the next couple weeks.

The only change in my routine has been that I'm a bit more careful to consolidate my grocery buying into fewer outings, and my weekly "go sit someplace with a coffee to draw" trips have turned to "go sit in the car out in the woods to draw" trips. I'm a pretty solitary person with a predominantly online social life, and the McDonald's here hasn't been forced to shut down yet so I'm still working. Still waiting for the other shoe to drop on that one. But then I'll just have more art time.

Honestly, it’s been a relief. I feel guilty saying that, but it’s true. I find myself wishing for things to stay like this for at least another month, even though I know that’s terrible for almost everyone but me.

I have a part-time job, but I don’t actually NEED the money because I’m on disability.

Normally, I live with the constant feeling that everything in life is too much for me and I can’t keep up and I’m falling behind and getting snowed under. It’s exhausting and scary. With things the way they are right now, I don’t have to do anything. I can just pick a couple of little chores to do in a day, if I feel like it, and that’s enough.

Admittedly, if I couldn’t leave my house at all that would probably start to wear on me. But I usually go out once around noon, to the store a block away, to grab a drink (practicing social distancing the whole time), and then I go for a walk around midnight. And that’s enough to break up the monotony for me.

Nah, I get it. If I didn't have to work, I'd probably feel similarly. As it is, I'm working longer hours than usual, but from home and all the outside world's fun stuff is either closed or canceled.

Same here. I'm an invalid, and I went through all the angst a long time ago. But now I'm enjoying the feeling that I shouldn't be making the effort to do this or that. It's so freeing, and so much less exhausting.

Not at all. I'm introverted/a homebody to begin with, and my husband is the one who's making the grocery store runs when we're out of groceries, and we've ordered Doordash a couple of times. I miss the tea shops, and Starbucks (there's one with a drive through here but the line is always hella long and I've only been able to get it once in two weeks). But the dispensary delivers and the restaurants here deliver alcohol along with food, so it hasn't been bad for me. I've been reading and watching movies, playing games on my phone, going for walks,and doing YouTube workout videos.

For the ten first days or so I was dealing great, it actually did me a lot of good! Resting, reading, cleaning my house, catching up on wy writing!
but for a couple of days now I'm just starting to feel bored and tired, I miss my job, and getting take-out, and seeing my friends. I hope I can settle back into a routine because we're stuck for at least two more weeks, likely a whole month.

Still at work cause... hospital, lol. A part of me is a little jealous of people staying home, tbh?

That's very understandable. Honestly, IMO we all own healthcare workers a debt of gratitude for working through this time. You may not live in my country, but thank you.

i'm very much an introvert anyway so the need to stay home is not a problem in any way, and most of my friends and family are spread around the country so online and telephone as primary of communication is just as per usual

went out yesterday for the first time in a week to get shopping though, and i get the impression that the rest of the country utterly sucks at the notion of social distancing - there's arrows on the floor to let people keep flowing in one direction and keep distance! don't ignore them and just shove past me! you twats!

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[ SECRET POST #4831 ]

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